Memoir's of a dead man

I remember how it happened. I remember my defiance. The thief... I never actually thought he would do it. His eyes, his face, they seemed so innocent at the time, but oh so desperate. I still remember my words, as well as his.1

"Gimme the cash" He cried, tears on his face, the gun against my head.2

"Just pull the trigger, end this now, I won't open the drawer for you" I remember...3

My voice was calm, I didn't care, whether I lived or died. I was sick of life, sick of being stressed all the time, I just wanted it all to end. I'd tried to kill myself the year before, and a part of me died right then and there, but the rest, was to afraid, so it just moved on in a numb haze.4

Then I met her, and had a reason to live again, I wont name her here, I don't want you to go and harass her about my death, I know what it did to her. But back to the boy...5

"I don't wanna hurt you" His voice cracked "I really don't, but they have my girlfriend, she's pregnant man, they said that their gonna rape and kill her while I watch unless I bring back the cash." The boy fell to his knees beside me, the barrel of the gun running down the side of my face. "Please man, I love her..."6

My heart went out to the kid, such emotion in his voice, such a dramatic flare, a doubt finally flashed through my mind, what if he was telling the truth. How was I supposed to tell him though, the only person with the code to the safe was gone for the week. I didn't know what to do, so I remained defiant.7

"You better kill me then, because I'm not going to open this safe" My own voice was still calm and steady, I really didn't care. I had hurt my own girl, bad enough that I didn't know if she would ever look at me again. I had never wanted to. It just happened.8

I turned to the kid, he couldn't have been more then 15, not even stubble on his chin, sandy blonde hair, and striking blue-green eyes, his hand was shaking. I didn't understand how he could still hold the gun. But he did, his voice cracking more.9

"Forgive me" A loud crack split the air and time seemed to stop. A brief flash of pain shot through my skull, then nothing. The next thing I knew I was standing beside him, looking down on his hunched form. He was sobbing his eyes fixed on a single point. My gaze followed his and I must say, I've never seen the like.10

Gone was the clean well lit store. Replaced with a bloody mess. The cash registers were covered in blood, my blood I realized as my gaze followed the trails back to their focus point. My skull was shattered, chunks of my brain laying on the floor.11

The boy was crying, harder then before. The front door suddenly flew open two older men in black came in and looked down at the boy and then the body. A third came through the door moments later dragging a young girl, her belly round with child, with an angry heave the man shoved her down. The boy, his eyes went wide at the sight as she came into view past the counter, her skirt was bunched around the waist, blood on her inner thighs. The boy flew into a rage, he swung the gun in his hands aiming for one of the men.12

It was useless. They were expecting it, one of the men, tall with pale blonde hair, stepped forward his fist connecting with the side of the kids head. He went sprawling his body laying back his eyes going blurry as his head hit the safe with a resounding ‘thunk’. “Maybe we should teach the little fucker a lesson.” The words out of Blondie’s mouth were vile, his tone sickened me, I knew what he had in mind and it had nothing to do with the kid, it had to do with his girl.13

Blondie pulled a gun, aiming it at the girl laying on the floor, she was laying in a puddle of blood, whether hers or mine I didn’t know, she was bleeding freely, and from what I could see it looked like someone had raped her with either a knife or some very cruel prince Albert’s. Glancing at the men, I’d have to guess the latter.14

Blondie’s gun swung back and forth between the two finally returning to the girl. “Grab some of the alcohol and wake him up” he said gesturing to the boy. One of the other men, short and squat shaggy black hair falling down to his jaw line and mixing with his untrimmed beard, moved to obey, pulling open the beer case and taking out a bottle of Hypnotiq. He unscrewed the cap and poured it over the boy who started at the smell.15

“Wakey wakey, rise and shine, you get to watch us fuck her this time” the man cawed with malice. The kid started to move only to take a fist in the gut, I couldn’t take it anymore, the girl was crying, and every time I looked at her I didn’t see her, I saw my girl, when I looked at the boy, I saw myself in the same situation.16

With a roar of rage I stepped forward unsure of what I intended to do I wrapped my hand around Blondie’s wrist, in shock I found that he was solid to me, counting on that to remain true I drove my knee into his nuts. He screamed in pain squeezing the trigger and firing a round off into the soda display. I slammed his head into the safe while his comrades looked on. One, two, three, sickening cracks, the third followed by a spray of blood.17

I pried the gun from his hands and that’s when things clicked into place for the third man, he fell to his knees his eyes to the sky as I shot his other partner. I stepped forward glancing at the kid as I went past, with shock I realized that his eyes were following me. I stood before the last man, his dark skin almost matching the black jeans and hoodie he wore, he signed a cross across his chest as he looked up into my eyes.18

I spoke “I am vengence, the boy took my life but that blame rests on you and your fellows, is there anything you have to say in your defense?” the last part was snarled.19

“Forgive me…” his voice shook with all the terrified resolution of one condemned to death, in my eyes, he was already dead.20

“Take that up with your ‘god’” I sneered as I lunged out with my hand wrapping it around his throat and lifting him off the ground as though he weighed nothing. He chocked and sputtered, bored with the game I threw him through the glass doors into the cooler.21

I turned to the boy and girl, both of whom were shaking violently. The boy stood shakily and moved between me and the girl when I looked down at her. “Kill me” he pleaded “leave her alone, she had no choice in any of this.”22

I stared at him, momentarily dumbstruck. “I will not kill either of you, there is a cell phone, in the pocket of my body, call the cops, have them bring an ambulance otherwise she will bleed to death.” I stepped forward and he shook even more violently. I laid my hand on his cheek and he fell still, “do not fear, you will be fine, when they watch the video they will hear your words, and understand that you had no choice. I let out a soft sigh, “I must go, but know that I forgive you.”23

With that I left walking through the back wall, I made my way to my girls house and found her crying into her pillow the radio smashed against the far wall and her mother there trying to comfort her, I knew then that word of my death had spread. I heard two things from her that night, the same words over and over again. “I’m so sorry” and “Why, would you take him from me?”