Where you are right now. Everyone is just running through the motions.
Where you are is the gear down process.
What it’s like is being a line cook on a sinking cruise ship.
A sinking ship that was previously full to the brim with well-to-do passengers.
The lifeboats are gone, and everyone is escaping to safety.
And you’re still in the bowels of the ship, preparing a twelve-course meal for two hundred.
What comes to mind is ‘What’s the point’.
You find yourself going through the motions, the processes, with the stupid smile slapped across your face.
You’re on automatic.
Every so often a word floats out of the mist of your subconscious.
Futile.
A moment of realization.
Pointless.
A second off of autopilot.
Waste.
And then you’re back to the gearing down process.
Everything is predetermined. Everything is familiar. Everything has that fake greasy feel to it.
And the ship continues to sink. As you continue to cook.
This is how you feel. This is a feeling, not an occurrence. But this is how you feel anyway.
And suddenly a thought smashes into the front of your mind like a runaway Ice Cream Truck skidding down a hill into the front bay window of your neighbour’s house.
This is not what you want to be doing for the rest of your life.
This is not what you want to be doing for the next two weeks.
This is not what you want to be doing for the next three minutes even.
But than you realize the icy cold water has already risen to your ankles.
You’re still in the bowels of the ship.
And the water is rising fast.
Author notes
Written a couple of years ago, when I think I really hated my job ;-)
A contest entry
- Fool me! by Jennywinnie.
200 points, ended March 29, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short story by my--i u--k i.
350 points, ended May 28, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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hmmm
This only has one gold trophy. My contest requires at least two.
Concerning the story itself, I have TOTALLY been there before. My first job ever was as an assistant in an HR department populated by snobbish, gossiping bitches. Horrible job. By the third month I was counting the minutes until I could leave again. It was like being in high school all over again. Ugh.
So, yeah, I liked the sinking ship analogy. Great job with that.
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This is a really good story, a moment of clarity. I'm not sure, but I think I see what is meant for this contest. You could save the original version of your story on the editing page and then come back to this. Eg. "And the ship continues to sink. As you continue to cook." Try 'The ship continues to sink as you cook.' LOL, IMO. Personally, I like as is, but was just trying to get the gist of the contest idea.
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wow very good I did indeed like this a whole lot and yes this is very short but a wonderful piece you have here you write wonderful and good luck in all you do good luck in the contest to god bless
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interesting...
its short for me, but i like it. its to the point. thank you for entering my contest. good job!
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cool!
Not exactly what I had in mind with my contest, but I reread the rules and, since you can't see my inner thoughts, and you followed my specifications, I'm going to not complain about that.
Very interesting metaphor you used. You could have gone more in depth on the cook, but in general
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Wow. This really gives the whole idea of someone running, but not having any clue whatsoever as to where they are going. This was a really good write. I enjoyed getting to read it. Congrats on the Bronze. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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wow... That makes you think. I really liked this one it speaks the truth.
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Very Nice!!! Deep and thought provoking. It makes a powerful statement for one to get their life in order and start doing the things that they really want to do.
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Where are you right now [?] That's the only mistake I saw. Great job at expressing your emotion. It was a very vivid emotional peice, yet it was still quite original. The discriptions were very unique, and it had a special rythm almost. Great job
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