Roses are red
Violets are blue
So is my body that you left brusies on to
It hurt real bad you made me cry
Roses are red
And so is the blood coming from inside
They told me I would die and that
Did in deed make me cry
I'm sorry for what I did to you
To do this to me
Now I'm leaving going to heaven
With my violets and roses
and my bleeding and brusies
Good bye
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I LIKED IT
This poem is very dramatic. It has so much emotion and it's obvious that you put a lot of thought into it. Good job!
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I hope I'm not misreading this!
Someone told me if I need a lift to read your work. They were right. I think you've really got something here!
Good luck,
GA
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awsome
This is really good
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Violets are Ooh...Ooh...Ooh!
"Bruises on TOO" (not to)
Don't use "cry" twice
Ditto "did"
Don't break up the rhyme scheme and meter so abruptly!
Difficult to believe you did not do this intentionally...but hard to tell. Did you?
Not really all that funny. Loses in the translation!
Anyway, Roses are Red
Violets are Vi...
If I were you
I'd give it another try! -
Wow, very nice, but kind sad. It reminds me of the song "Crawling" by Linkin Park. But it was really very well written with great flow.
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This was pretty good but I got a confused at a few parts. I figured it out eventually though, just the did in deed make me cry confused me. Anyway good overall.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Wow... very sad daughter, but well written with a smooth flow. Well done
~Princess~
~Mum~ -
greattttttttttttt
love it alot
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fantastica!!!!!!!!
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i sorry, but this is kinda funny. it's also sad, cool
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This is sad. ;__; Very very good, though. One of your best.
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Very sad and dark, and yet, a flicker of light toward the end. It is a familiar story to too many people today, sadly. You wrote this wonderfully. Thanks for sharing.
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So sad. Very well written. Great flow and very descriptive...
Good Job
Em
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Dark
I must say...the background you chose and the poem are a contrast to each other. Really. I found this to be very dark...with a few typos...but altogether good. Good work. -
nice flow. very short, but still good. i think it was good except you could of that out a better ending >.< but still rather good.
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Hmm this is different than what you normally write...I think.
I did like it though.
Good job on this, Evaaaa. -
Kinda depressing. But it was well written. Good job.
xoxo
Kelsey -
that's kinda morbid.....interesting, though....
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This was pretty good except the part "So is my body that you left brusies on to". It didn't flow well with the rest of the poem. Other than that, nice poem!
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