Gone, but not forever

Ally is 15 years old, one day she went for a walk, she told her parents she'd be back in a few minutes and she was just going around the block. Her parents wern't sure she should go because they live in a bad neighborhood but Ally wanted to go anyways, she needed fresh air. just as Ally turned the corner a car started to follow her...slowly the car crept up behind her...Ally looked back and when she noticed she was being followed she got nervous. She started running....faster and faster...until she couldnt run anymore...she then passed out...on the ground she layed until the car found her again...they dragged her in the red car and they drove off...an hour after the incident her parents where home wondering and scared about they only child, Ally. they called the cops and when the cops arrived they told them they couldnt do anything until she was gone for 24 hours. "but i dont know what would happen to her in that long!" her mother cried "im sorry ma'am but theres nothing more we can do, call us tomorrow" the officer said and off the cops went. back where Ally is-- she woke up dizzy and confused, "where am i..." she said to herself. She was scared and she couldnt hide it... two guys walked up to her and said "oh look Jay sleeping beauty is up" one joked they both laughed, kicked Ally and walked off. Ally then realized how much she missed her parents, she was very sad and lonely... she looked all around her hoping to see a way out or atleast a glimpse of the moonlight she saw something! there was a window...it was kind of high up but she was sure she could get to it...she had to! at Ally's house--"what are we going to do!" the father yelled "i told you not to let her go!!" "im sorry!" her mother apoligized, they both knew they couldnt do anything now... they could only hope and pray Ally was safe and okay somewhere... at the warehouse-- ally stacked all the things she could find that were sturdy, the two men where gone and they locked the place up, Ally got all they way up to the window, balancing she tried breaking the glass, she decided using her fists was the only thing she could do. she broke the window and she wrapped up her bloody throbbing fist. she jumped out of the window, which was only around 3 feet, she had been in the basement of the warehouse and she was glad. not knowing where she was she walked...all the way until the found a diner. at her house-- the parents had gotten up at 6:30 to call the cops once more, they didnt care if it was early or if it hadnt been 24 hours, they only wanted Ally. They called called the cops and they come over once more, this time they got a little more serious and told them that they should put up posters with awards, they would be on the news and that, they did...30 minutes later on the news "reports of a missing girl by the name Ally has gone missing yesterday after taking a walk, her parents are offering a reward for her safe return" her mother was hysterical, she was so upset...her father felt so bad...he knew he should have prorected her...he knew he could have been a better father...he knew she needed him...but now it was to late... Back with Ally-- when she walked in she saw a boy...he must have 17 maybe younger...she walked up to him and asked if he knew where they where "um...where in Akron Ohio..." he said "OHIO!" she yelled that was way farther then missouri... "uh are you okay?!" he asked "yea...im just...not from here..." she responded "oh! are you lost?!" he asked "well sorta..." she said "oh...well...can you keep a secret?!" he asked “sure” she said “okay..well I sorta ran away from home…did you do that to?” he said “no! it’s a long story…I just want to get home…I really need help, is there a pay phone anywhere?!” she asked “none that work…but I can help you get home…my names Jake” “you can! Oh thank you!! My names Ally!!” she yelled. Back at home— “do you think Ally is alright?” her mother asked…they had just finished putting up all the posters any one could possibly put up “ofcourse shes alright!” her father yelled he didn’t want to think of the bad things that could happen to Ally the only thing they could do was….wait… back with Ally and Jake—“don’t you think your parents miss you?” she asked as they waited for a bus to come “I don’t know…I don’t think they did or would” he responded “that’s sad…I mean I know they miss you and they probably are going crazy!” she said “no they probably forgot all about me…its been 4 years…” he said “you’ve been gone for four years?!” she questioned just then the bus came, they only had enough money to take them to Adams Illinois ((close to kc mo)) on the bus Ally had fallen asleep leaning on Jake, Jake liked her from the moment he saw her…he just didn’t want her to know… he knew he could trust her and that he wouldn’t take him home…he didn’t want to be home…he hated it. Soon Jake fell asleep too. Back at Ally’s house—her parents where getting desperate to find where there daughter was…they knew they couldn’t give up and that she needed them. On the bus—the bus came to a final stop, the bus driver said “are you two kids gunna get off any time soon?!” he seemed unpleasant so the two got off, “hey Ally…” he said “yes?” she said “umm…never mind” “okay?” the two started walking, even thought Jake only knew Ally for a day he knew she was perfect… “Jake…thanks for doing this for me…I really appreciate it” she said and she gave him a peck on the cheek… “its okay…” he said they walked and they where mostly silent, Jake would finally work up the courage to thank her himself “Ally” he said taking a deep breathe, she looked at him “I like you and im so glad I can trust you enough to tell you this…” she smiled at him and grabbed his hand he wasn’t sure if she was doing this just because he was taking her home or because she liked him, he didn’t care… but Ally really did like him and she was extremely glad he liked her “your almost home…back to your life and you loving family” he said sadly he didn’t want her to leave him alone like his family did… “Jake…maybe you should actually go home to…im sure your parents really miss you to…” she said, just then Jake got mad “no! I told you! I cant! They don’t care!! I thought you did!!” he yelled “Jake! I do care! I care a lot that’s why im telling you that you should go home!” then they both got very quiet…for an hour Ally only followed, Jake wasn’t talking to her, she was upset… then Jake looked back to see her sad face staring at him…he walked up to her and just gave her a hug he whispered in her ear “im sorry Ally…I really am…but I cant go home…my parents don’t wont me there” “but you don’t know that Jake…they could really miss you…” she said then they walked side by side for the rest of the night. They where both extremely tired and cold so they decided to sit down for a while…then they both fell asleep for a while, side by side, keeping each other warm… they woke up to police cars and yelling “we found her!!” they both woke up and Ally was terrified from all the yelling and bright lights “yep…we found her….” The cop said in the phone then Jake yelled “what’s going on?!” “my parents!! They sent people to look for me! I had been kidnapped! But now! Im found!!” jake got up and walked off…he didn’t want to face Ally to tell her how mad he was… when Ally noticed Jake walking off she grabbed his arm and yanked him back… she wanted to stay with him…forever… she didn’t care what she had to do, she loved him. She dragged him back with them, told them the story and they took him home, she knew he didn’t want to go but he had to! She slipped her number and address in his jacket pocket, he was mad and she knew it. Ally got taken home in police car the rest of the way. When she got home her parents where overjoyed “Ally!! We missed you so much!! Don’t ever leave again!!” her mother yelled, her father smiled and looked at her, she smiled back. A few weeks later her phone rang, her father answered it. “hello?” he answered “um…can I talk to Ally?” he asked “yes hold on a second” he said “Ally!! Phone call!!” Ally ran down the stairs hoping it was Sara telling her the latest news “hello?” she said in a cheery voice “Ally…” he said “Jake!?!” “yea… thanks…your right…my parents…they did miss me…im so glad I have you…I love you Ally” “I love you to Jake…”

Author notes

okay so its not all about kiddnapped but theres romance and family!!! yay family!!! ((lmao))

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Comments


  • Mai4ever
    February 18, 2007

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    Well..this is nice but i think it needed some distinction of paragraphs. Break up some parts into clear paragraphs. I think by turning this from present tense to past tense would be better. You could also make this in first-person. I need to see clear distinction between dialogue and details. There were run-on sentences and some grammer mistakes. But overall, this is okay. Don't take this the wrong way. This is potential and I hope you keep it up!


  • VioletConcept
    February 9, 2007
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    great

  • VioletConcept
    February 6, 2007

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    great

    just between you and me i really liked it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heck let the hole f-ing world no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.