Monday morning brought both excitement, and the nervousness of my date on Saturday. I had no doubt that most everyone had heard about it by now. I really wished they’d all get lives of their own instead of gossiping about others.
I walked into school that morning with a bit more confidence than I ever had since I moved here at the beginning of the year. People whispered as I walked by, but I didn’t really care. I made my way to my locker to find Ryan leaning up against it holding a single red rose with an impish smile on his face.
“For you darling,” he said, placing the rose in my hands. I blushed.
“Ryan, thank you,” I said, smiling sweetly at him while biting down softly on my lower lip.
“Yeah, that’s still about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” I laughed and opened my locker. “Wait, let me carry your books for you,” Ryan offered.
“Oh no its fine, really,” I said.
“Now Christine, I insist.” He nodded his head and took the books from my hand. “Shall we go?”
I laughed and walked side by side with him down the hallway to my first class. Other girls looked on at me, eyes green with envy. I couldn’t believe this was really happening, not to someone like me. Ryan flashed me the most amazing smile as he bade me goodbye at the door way.
“Until we meet again, farewell dear maiden.” He waved curtly and strolled off back down the hallway. I laughed with him and watched as he walked away, and dissapeard as he turned from sight.
When I walked into the classroom the chatter immediately hushed. I moved to my seat feeling as though the conversations were about Ryan and I. I didn’t care though, but I was fully conscious of the eyes that surveyed me as I walked to the desk and felt extremely uncomfortable.
Erica, an extremely nosy girl, sat next to me in the back of the room. Her eyes met me as I sat down and she quickly plunged into conversation, obviously hoping for a hint of what had happened on Saturday night.
“So how was your weekend?” She asked. Erica was one of those people who talked in a loud, bossy voice that I found extremely obnoxious. I smiled at her none-the-less.
“It was fine. How was yours?”
“Oh the usual. A night on the town with the girls checking out cute boys. We didn’t find any that were single. I guess all the good ones have been taken,” she shrugged. “I mean now even Ryan’s taken isn’t he?”
I laughed silently to myself at Erica’s desperateness for information on the date. “Well, its not official yet, but we did have a good time.”
“Oh really? What happend?” She asked leaning closer to me and lowering her voice to something barely above a whisper. “Did you guys do it?”
“Gross, no,” I replied, shocked at her question.
“Oh,” the curiosity faded from behind her wide amber eyes. “Well,” She pursed, “Is he a good kisser at least?”
“We didn’t kiss,” I said shortly, a bit irritated with her forwardness.
“Okay,” she sighed arrogantly, “What did you do then?”
“We went to the coffee shop, then a walk on the beach.”
“Oh, how boring. My dates are always filled with more spontaneous things than coffee and walks on the beach.” Her emphasis on the word filled made me laugh to myself.
“I’m sure,” I muttered under my breath. She didn’t hear me.
“Well, I guess its okay, it leaves him open for the rest of us still then.” She turned back towards the front of the room and folded her arms over her breasts. Her comment left me worried. Was Ryan really like that? Would he get bored with me if I didn’t go farther? I didn’t think he would but I had only been at this school for about three months. Maybe I was putting too much faith in him. Or maybe I was basing too much on nosy Erica.
The details of our date soared through the school and by lunch, everyone knew that we hadn’t even kissed. I didn’t mind though. I didn’t want to be thought of as easy, or anything close to it. I was worried that Ryan may become angry. After all, he did have a reputation to live up to.
Lunch time diminished my fears. I had only been in the Cafeteria for a minute before Ryan dashed up to me and lead me by the shoulders to his table. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
“Have you heard everyone talking?” I asked cautiously.
“Of course I have. They really need to get a hobby or something,” he laughed, clearly not phased by the fact that we hadn’t kissed.
“What hobby do you have Ryan Jackson?” I teased, taking a seat next to him on the bench.
“Well,” he said slowly, “I’d like it if you could be my hobby.” I giggled and moved closer to him.
“What do you mean?” I pressed my lips together in an inquisitive smile.
“What I mean,” he said, still speaking slowly as if trying to find the best words he could, “Is that I’d like you to be more than just a girl I see on weekends.”
My smile faded and was replaced with a look of uncertainty. “Really?” I asked.
“I know its soon, really soon, and I know I’m moving fast. Really fast. But, there’s just something about you that makes me think its right. I know its right. I know it.” He stopped and surveyed my face. “I really like you Christine. A lot. I know we’ve only been out on one date but before you say no just-”
“Yes,” I said, so quietly I wasn’t sure if I had actually said it.
“What did you say?” He asked quickly.
“I said,” My voice louder this time, “Yes.”
“Really?” Ryan said, jumping up in his chair and pulling me up with him. He hugged me and spun me around.
“Really,” I repeated. A smile cracked across my face.
“Its official,” Ryan cried, clearly overjoyed, “I’m the luckiest guy alive.”
I laughed and smiled at him. So this is what it was like to be happy. It was a strange feeling. But with everything I had ever gone through I had never really felt happiness. I longed to cling onto it. I was ready to let Ryan take my hand into a future without the sorrows that clung heavily to my past.
A contest entry
- I WANT A GOOD CLIFFHANGER!! by Taylor Renee.
145 points, ended April 16, 2007, 74 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Ha ha! And it just became sweeter. I love stories like these (but I guess I've already said that.) I love Ryan- such a gentleman. Now he knows how to treat a lady, and I guess that's what I like the best about this story. Most guys don't do that anymore, and I'm glad he does. (Even if he's fictional) This is so good!!!!!
MoonNight -
Wow, another amazing chapter. This one made me smile the entire way through. I had a good picture of everyone.. even Erica, the gossip queen, haha.
Anyways, I'm going to read some more!
~Kevan!~
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ok a cute chapter i will say. tell us a quick sentence on what sunday was like. just one sentence cause i kinda wanted to know if like he called or if she was all giddy from the date, does she go to church etc. you should describe Erica's face and body.. but not what she's wearing. we (the readers) should be able to figure out shes a slut if you use cliche' things like: blue eyed, big breasted, slinky is also a good adjective to describe sluttyness. dont call her a slut flat out, it should go without saying. the diologe does this mostly but i think we should figure it out before Erica even speaks beacause i can already have a picture in my mind of her and almost guess shes giong to have that cheerleader accent.
umm Ryan is never seen with any freinds either. is that on purpose? you say he's popular. i would like to see some of his friends in play. but it would be interesting if you made no mention of any of his friends throughout the entire story. it could (if done right) make it seem like when Ryans there he's the only one Christene sees. and Ryan seems... a little like... i dunno... feminine. ill keep reading but like that whole waving his arm thing. i guess you could keep it but i get the feeling hes kinda feminine. lol. probly just me and i havent read all the way through. just be careful you dont make him out to be a sissy.
Grammer was perfect.
the ending paragraph instead of saying "so this is what happiness is" say something like "Is this happiness?" make her alittle unsure if this really is what true happiness feels like, or if this could be fake. let her feel secure with Ryan, but also let the past linger in the back of her mind.
try not to take all this advice to seriously. just look at it and go with your gut when making changes. the chapter was near perfection. one of the best ive read from you.
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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sorrows of the past...
"...I was ready to let Ryan take my hand into a future without the sorrows that clung heavily to my past...."
Well done. Something about the emphasis on her morality and the apparent lack of it by the other girl/girls, seems a little overdone, like the author is making a statement of sorts.
Although, I guess that would be a part of the high school scene...the rapid gossip, everywhere, surprised that Ryan heard the gossip also as boys...well...maybe they do nowadays...dunno...
you had dissapear for disappear...other than that a very sound and well written chapter with a bit of foreshadowing in the last few lines.
regards...
amicus...
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awesome, yet again.
you led me from chapter one, to chapter two, and now im going to chapter three after this. haha i guess you will have me up all night reading all your twenty something chapeters. but i'm not complaining, im excited to read it. this is a great great read for me. -
Amazing!!
Keep it up girl. Ur doing a fine job. As long as u keep drawing us in, I don't think u will have problems. I can relate to ur female character. I remember back when I was a teen and felt isolated in school and was a loner. Well, I still am, even now. And, indeed this was exciting and well thought out. So....what's next for our loving new couple? hehe. Great job. -theQueen"
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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awwwwws they're together! that is so sweet! okay, so i just have a couple suggestions: you say that he waves curtly and walks away, but curtly is how u wave i dunno, when u want to get away from someone quickly.
"“Oh really? What happend?”" "happend" should be "happened."
other than that, this was a great story and im so glad that u decided to continue this. -
Good characterization. I really am enjoying this story and can't wait till I read the next part, which is now.
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I Luv it
Gosh this is soooo good!!! WHy are you jealous of MY writing? YOurs is awesome! Ryan sounds like a sweet heart, just like my boyfriend... I'm off to read more. I couldnt find a single thing that was wrong with this chapter, it was totally great!
DuStBuNnI
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I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS STORY!!! i am ttly hooked. i need more!!! awesome job- i think this has the potential to win. fantastic. amazing, I NEED MORE!!!
Taylor
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