He couldn't find the pills anywhere. He excused himself to the restroom and requested for some vinegar. He received that same look he received from strangers everywhere. That frightened and shocked look. He forced himself to swallow the disgusting liquid down in one gulp. It made its way down his throat, causing a burning sensation all the way to his stomach where it made him want to vomit. The sour taste of vinegar was still in his mouth, feeling as if he was on fire from the inside.
He wearily moved his frail and tiny body through the restaurant. He was a walking skeleton to many but to him, he was an overweight and unattractive male. His once soft brown hair was now brittle and thin, his teeth were slowly wearing out from all his forced vomiting, his ribs were visible underneath the shirt he hid in, his radiant skin had gone pale and gray. His 5' 9" body weighing at a mere 98 pounds.
His parents never thought he'd be anorexic. They never thought a guy would be anorexic. They never suspected anything to be wrong. They blamed his rapid weight loss over the last few months on the high demands of modeling filling him with stress. His boyfriend knew that he had an eating disorder but he never got him to admit that he had anorexia nervosa. The modeling agency, however, fueled him to become thinner everyday , praising him for his picture perfect thin body. 1
Stevie returned to the table and sat across from Joel, and looked at him while he ate in somewhat of a disgust but envy at the same time. 'Only if he could eat and be as thin as him' he thought. 2
"Stevie, aren't you hungry?" he asked concerned as usual. 3
"No." he crossed his arms and put his elbows on the table smiling.4
"You need to eat something."5
Stevie's smile faded away as those words spilled out of Joel's mouth hesitatnly. "You know that I hate it when someone tells me to eat."6
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Stevie sat by his bed staring out at the endless black sky scattered with few stars and the trees highlighted with the full moon. He swallowed somemore pills before turning off the lights and laying down. 8
"I'm gonna sleep, Joel."9
He came into the room a few minutes later and looked at the slender figure lying on the bed, barely moving, looking as if he was almsot dead. He was dying and Joel knew it, but he didn't know how to stop this disorder that continued to followed Stevie. He reached for Stevie's diet pills and flushed them down the toilet for the ninth time before getting into bed next to his small, cold body. His arms wrapped around his bony shoulders and interlocked with Stevie's hand. He gave him a little kiss before drifting off himself. 10
"Joel, what did you do with my pills?" Stevie asked angrily in the morning.11
"What pills?" he mumbled into the pillow. He eventually and unwillingly got up a few minutes later, and opened his eyes to Stevie closing a suitcase. 12
"Joel..."13
"How long are you gonna be gone for?" he came up behind him and wrapped his arms around what was left of his waist. 14
"Just a few days."15
Joel went out to the kitchen and brought some cookies in. "Just eat one."16
"No."17
"Please, just for me. Before you go." 18
After minutes of persuasion, he took a bite, then another with disgust spreading across his face. Meanwhile, Joel was glad just about the fact that he had eaten something. He only hoped that he could help by getting him to eat more. Joel leaned forward and gave him a long kiss as a way of his thanks. It didn't last much, though. Stevie ran into the restroom and threw it all back up. 19
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Joel got on the plane a day later to fly out to Los Angeles, California. The fashion show was at seven that night and he would be there to see Stevie. 21
The runway extended in bright white in the darkness of the vast building. The models, men and women, frantically got dressed and changed behind the black velvet curtains. Stevie looked so gorgeous in the jackets and what not, but still too thin. Whenever he came out, Joel could hear from all sides the common mumbles such as "He's so gorgeous," or "His body is perfection itself"22
Joel sat there quietly, restraining himself from yelling at all of them, "Stevie is fucking dying! That's not perfection or beauty! It's death itself!". Modeling was Stevie's true passion in life and he worked very hard, perhaps too hard, to get to his high status in the modeling industry. He had been drawn into the high cheek boned, thin, slim figures of men and women since the age of 17 and now, after 6 years, he was one of them. 23
"You did wonderful, love." Joel met up with Stevie backstage after the show. 24
"A few more pounds." was the only reply he received. 25
They took a stoll on the streets that night. It was relatively silent and the weather was breezy and cool. Hand in hand, they remained silent at first. 26
"You know I love you, right?" they sat down on a bench underneath a street light. 27
"Love you, too." Stevie gave him a short, sweet kiss. 28
----------29
He was hospitalized for kidney failure the next month. Joel stayed with him by his side the whole time. His complexion got much better within the two weeks. Within the two weeks, he gained 4 pounds slowly and excruciatingly. Within two weeks, he got better little by little. Within two weeks, his heart failed to support him. 30
----------31
"It's been two years now." Joel said. "It's ironic how you gave so much, how you gave too much for modeling and all you got was nothing. You finally achieved your dream and had it in your hands. But now you can't fulfill it all the way because your dream killed you. You could've stopped, you know. You were gorgeous the way you were when I first met you." he put down a red rose on his grave and walked away.32
Author notes
The beginning where he drinks vinegar, it acts like a diet pill...incase you didn't know.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow
That was really good,i would prefer paragraphs,but that is a-ok
it was bulimia not anorexia,...just pointing that out
Good job.
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Wonderful work. Yes, eating disorders are a meaniful topic, but I've been looking for one like this for a while... one where the character with the disorder is male. Wonderful job! Keep writing!
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It's rare to read the ccounts of a boy with an eating disorder, thanks for bringing that into light as well as you did!
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I can really relate to this. I know what it's like and I've never read anyone who could explain it better. Hopefully, people will read this and realize how horrible this condition is.
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Hm, well, a bit of a twist from what we usually see or read about anorexia in that it's about a guy (whereas usually it's about a girl). Nonetheless, the story was well written and rather depressing - but, sadly - not original (as my contest requests). But it's a good write, be happy with it!
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Just so this can be cleared up...her story is correct in calling this anorexia. Bulimia is binging and purging...anorexia is restricting food and can also include purging. This character had anorexia.
Anyways, this was a good write. Thanks for sharing this story with us and for taking the slant of it being a male with the eating disorder. Most people only associate women with eating disorders when the reality is men and women can and do have eating disorders. Good job on this! -
Another good read - an all too common problem with a slight twist to it.
One thing that you neglected was the fact that he was perpetuating the myth, showing future models that they needed to be thin to be beautiful.
But then, don't we perpetuate the myth by buying the magazines?
Unfortunately the higher end fashion houses all want their models (male and female alike) to look like 13 year old boys, because clothes hang better on them.
Anyway - thanks for the story.
GoNE
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really good paragraphs would be nice though
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This was quiet good, it isn't everyday where someone will write about the male way of modelling and bulemia.
Great work
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great job
i thought it was very good, very true happens in everyday life great job, keep it up -
wow
Yeah it would be bulimia, but i'm not going to hold that aginst you at all. It was a very good story I really enjoyed reading it. I like the beginning it set the stage and problem quickly. It didnt' really ever die out or anything either. I liked how they were gay to together too, nice touch. It was nice he was bulimic for a reson, which really happens in society, again nice. Finally I was happy to read it because I havn't read alot of stories that deal with an eating disorder. Keep up the writing.
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okay, first i would just like to say he has bulimia, not anorexia
some things you said were repeatative, like 'he stayed with him by his side'
with him wasn't nessisary
other than that, it was a good, though sad, story -
This was really good and it's happening everywhere. Thanks for not hiding the truth from people.
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This was really good, and oh how true it is. Teens & adults die every day from anorexia, being pressured to look 'perfect' well guess what, theres no such thing as perfect.
Very good, Emily!
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=]
Oh goodness. That was a fast reply dear =] Haha, thank you very much
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