You forgot everything too when you kissed. You forgot I was your boyfriend. You forgot you loved me. And you remembered you liked girls. That must have been how you ended up with that slut ‘Bethany’, or ‘Mary-Anne’, or ‘Rosemary’, or whatever the newest one’s name was.
I trace my finger along my arm. The touch makes me shiver at the memory of how your own fingers would sigh upon my wrist, making the hairs prick up. That small touch was so much more intimate than anything you ever could have thought of to do… maybe that’s what I fell for. I never fell for you, for your looks (beautiful as they were). No. I fell for your words and carefully uttered poetry, for your hands, for the special way your eyes saw me.
I glance back as the letters curl across my vision, slowly spelling your name. They blaze out in crimson across the pale skin you teased me for.
There’s no beauty in bleeding lips. But there’s everything in falling stars.
A contest entry
- Morbidity [well, anything really] by Dirty and Broken.
700 points, ended February 5, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow
that was very beautiful and poetic. I treasure stories like these...they're real gems to find on SW. You are a gifted writer who has an awesome flaire for lyrical language, simply stunning. Incredible job, I don't know what else to say about this
. Well, I'll tell you this much: you made my day
.
Much love,
Ink


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I'm going to have to DQ this, because it's under the word limit.
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The last line makes no sense. But it's soooo beautiful!
This is one of those things that you /want/ a back story for because it's soooo awesome and you need to know more, but somehow it's absolutely perfect the way it is...

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It makes perfect sense if you think about it.
Thanks for your comment. -
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I guess I'll have to think, then...
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Wow
You have a distinct talent for the bitter. You wanna know something interesting? You know how usually when you write something this short people tell you how great an opening this would make?
This would make the most heart-achingly gut-wrenchingly fantastical ending to something.
-Jess xxx -
Awww... I like this! It's nicely written


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I love this too.
*sigh* I really will have to read everything...maybe not today but...hmmm maybe I will.
I loved it, which I already said...
Great job!
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Ooohh I liked this...
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I liket it alot!
Very well written, and well expressed
Good story, sad and emotional
GOod job

beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Great write
Very astute write for such a young writer. First time I have read any of your work. Usually comment on and read poetry, so will have to check out that too. Glad you were recommened to me by someone we both know. Keep writing, keep reading.

beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Can I assume it was Amicus2K7? Glad you liked it.
Thanks for reading.
Omegaxx
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Not much to say this all flowed so well, it was beautifully written and well done.
Good work.
Lady Madeline -
Hmmm, I don't know what to say about this...I liked it very much!! I wish it was longer...I dunno...I really really liked it.
Sorry for the crappy comment.


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I liked this, it was very prettty. I liked the last line the best, very pretty.
The whole thing is just very, very, very, pretty.
Very good. I enjoyed it.

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Pretty is good. Thanks for commenting, sweets, love you.
Noise&&Kisses
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very nice. a wonderfully worded shortie. my fav. was the last line. its so awesome, fuzzy feeling inside!! ^_^
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Gladyarr liked it, sweets.
Noise&&Kisses
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I love your way with words, The last line is my favorite, the whole thing is beautiful and meaningful I enjoyed this A LOT!


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks sweets. That means a lot =]
Noise&&Kisses
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I like it! I's sweet and complex even if it is short. Love it! You are so good at this!

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Aww, thanks sweets. Glad you liked it =]
Noise&&Kisses
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oh, wow, that was really pretty.....
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Thanks sweets =] gladyarr liked it.
Noise&&Kisses
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I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY *deep breath* REALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY liked this.


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Aww, thankyarr sweets. That really means a lot =] You're awesome && You Rock Muchly.
Noise&&Kisses
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