Had a stranger approached you from the streets and said, “Dolls can talk,” would you have believed him? Would it sound any more plausible than if he were to say he was a psychic, or an astronaut? Unlikely, I’m sure. But that's the difficulty of the matter. Seeing isn't always believing. You must first believe before you can see.
Sounding strange, right? But Rosemary saw things. She saw and heard things that the older people missed. It wasn’t that she had a sixth sense or that she was subject to visions. No, it was simpler. When she grew bored, she took on a hobby of her own creation. Rosemary made friends with the toys. Now, some people would argue that this wasn’t entirely possible. She'd smile at their skepticism, never doubting what she held as truth.
The young girl, about seven, crossed through the wet grass and into her father’s toyshop. It was more of a nice tool shed, to be frank. It was clean and freshly painted, but hardly a shop. Mr. Abbott spent his days there, crafting wonderful toys. What he couldn't make from scratch he would order. There were wind-up toys, music boxes, toy cars and dolls. Rosemary stepped into her father’s kingdom, his little world. “Good morning!"
Mr. Abbott shook himself from his train of thought. He glanced up from the jack-in-the-box he’d been carefully painting. “Hey, Rose. What are you up to?”
“Oh, nothing,” she replied, taking in the sight of the toyshop by degrees. She glimpsed up at him with her well-practiced puppy-dog look. “May I play with the dolls?”
“Actually, I was just about to go make lunch. I’m sorry, dear. Some other time.” He slipped past her and turned for the house. Mr. Abbott should have chosen his words more carefully, really. His daughter, like most children, was a devious thing.
Rosemary leaned back against the wall of the shed, smiling curiously. “He never said I couldn’t,” she pointed out. “He said some other time. I pick now.” She assessed her surroundings and grinned. Rosemary untied a ribbon from the hair of a porcelain doll. “Do you mind if I borrow this, Therese?” She tied her braids together with the pink ribbon, made into a bow.
“I don’t mind,” Therese replied. Her porcelain lips scarcely moved. “Goodness, how I loath this corset. You would think your father was trying to suck the air out of me. Not that I have air left to suck.” She crinkled her nose in a bitter fashion. “That’s probably why. I was probably a girl once, just like you, until these awful boned corsets came in style. Death by fashion.”
The doll beside her stifled a laugh. She stroked her dark, synthetic curls with pride. “I’ll say, Therese, you whine an awful lot.”
The two dolls exchanged cold glares. Odd that even the playthings had a knack for causing drama. Even in the toymaker’s kingdom, there were tiffs. “There now, Beatrice,” a third doll murmured, taking sides with Therese. “Let’s not be cross. Having cracked feet is no reason to behave like so.”
Rosemary blinked at them. She reached out to help the dolls from their shelves and set them on her father’s tool bench. “You have cracked feet?” She gave Beatrice an appraising stare. The doll’s face dropped to a frown. She knelt reluctantly to remove her tiny shoes. There were, indeed, small cracks in her fair china feet. The little chinks were paper-thin, forming a web that crept to her ankles. “Boxing accident,” explained Beatrice, sourly.
The young girl raised a brow. "You box?"
“No, no.” The doll slipped back into her shoes, avoiding the cruel expressions of disgust from the other dolls. “There was a boxing accident. A box of yo-yo toys fell on me. Mr. Abbott had me in his collection of summer toys at the time. I was barefoot. You do the math.”
Therese giggled, amused. “And thus was the end to her swimsuit-modeling career.”
“That isn’t funny,” the doll cried. “I happened to like very much being a summer doll.”
The third doll, Paris, gave a scowl. She lifted a bouncing-ball from the shelf above her. Paris aimed it carefully between the two dolls, content to hit either.
Rosemary caught her and dropped her jaw in shock. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would so. And stay out of this, human.” Before Beatrice could think, Paris lurched forward and overturned the whole box. Bouncing balls spilled all across the bench in a chorus of yelps. The bouncing balls yelped, the dolls yelped, and every toy in their path tripped and fell. Rosemary gave them an incredulous stare. The young girl backed up slowly. She knew, at that moment, that this would mean war.
A crowd of dolls jumped from their shelves and stands and divided into groups. The little green soldiers and nutcrackers stormed toward them, shouting orders. The dolls broke into a catfight. They yanked on each other’s braids and tore patches from their dainty clothes. All the while, the half-painted jack-in-the-box sprung up and down, crying, “Let’s be a peaceful people! Let’s be a peaceful people!” One of the gutsier dolls formed a porcelain fist and bopped him upside his head. Rosemary heard the sound of two things shatter: her fist, then his head. She winced.
The arm of a stuffed bear flew off and grazed her cheek. Its stitched-on smile stayed in place, but little tears formed at his eyes. The bear beside it shook his head. He viewed the hostile toys from under the shade of a large sombrero. “¡Ah! ¡Dios mío!”
The toymaker’s daughter would tolerate no more. She picked up the crying, one-armed bear and held it for all to see. When no one responded, Rosemary took a whistle from the bench and blew into it. It brought the warring factions to attention. “Come on, now,” she exclaimed. “Is this any way to behave?”
The dolls who’d first provoked this all stared guiltily at the floor. Their glass eyes seemed almost frozen there. “I’m so ashamed,” Paris whispered. “If only I had controlled my temper.”
“No, it was all me,” Therese insisted, soothing Paris with a pat on the back. “I’ll take full blame.” She pulled the remaining ribbon from her now disheveled hair. “Here’s a proposal,” Therese proclaimed. “Let’s us call a truce!” All of the toys nodded in agreement with her. They untied their bows and donned their hats, and threw the lot of them up in the air. They rose and dropped like confetti, in an abundance of colors.
“To friendship,” the one-armed bear announced. “And to peace.” The other toys piped up, too, voicing their decrees of peace. All of the toys now stood around the pool of bows and hats and loose articles of clothing.
Rosemary rolled her eyes. “Well, that’s toys for you. Always a misadventure, always an interesting time.” She danced off to the house for lunch, pondering the strange nature of inanimate things. The doors to the makeshift shop opened before she could reach for them.
Mr. Abbott entered casually, whistling off-tune to an old song. He took in the sight of his daughter and froze. “I thought I told you not to play in here.”
Rosemary bit her lip, weighing her choices carefully as to how to answer. “Not necessarily .” She regretted this immediately. She followed her father’s eyes toward the absolute mess that was his toyshop. The puppy-dog look could not help her. “Let me save you the trouble,” she muttered, defeated. The young girl threw both arms into the air in a close imitation of her father. “To your room!”
And all of the little toys watched the girl as she went, looking as badly to them as they must have to her. The toys stifled their laughs, whispering in voices Mr. Abbott couldn’t hear. “Death by father,” Therese giggled. “And all over a silly corset.”
Author notes
I thought I would try my hand at something less realistic and more creative. The Mexican bears, talking dolls, and all of the others should do the trick. Tell me what you think, please, and thanks much for reading.
A contest entry
- Children's Stories by Delfishie.
350 points, ended August 31, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
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What do you think of this story, and what do or don't you like?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This was good, im not a childrens stories person but this was still good, that child should be slapped for being so pug nosed and disobeying her father and talking to him like that.
You never put in why this should win.
Tnks for entering and goodluck.
~Lady Madeline.
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Notes:
“Seeing isn't always believing. You must first believe before you can see.” – Hm…That’s an interesting way to put it.
“She glimpsed up at him with her well-practiced puppy-dog look” – The word “glimpsed” seems a bit awkward here…
“He never said I couldn’t,” she pointed out. “He said some other time. I pick now.” - Awh, how cute! That made me laugh.
“Let’s us call a truce!” – “Let’s” is a contraction for “let us”, so you are basically saying “let us us call a truce”…So get rid of the “us,” unless your reason for doing this was intentional (perhaps this is just how Therese talks – after all, when people [or dolls, I suppose ] talk, they don’t pay attention to grammar that much), in which case, keep it.
‘ And all of the little toys watched the girl as she went, looking as badly to them as they must have to her. The toys stifled their laughs, whispering in voices Mr. Abbott couldn’t hear. “Death by father,” Therese giggled. “And all over a silly corset.” ’ – A perfect ending!
Ah, what a delightful story that was! Rosemary was such a cute little girl, and I liked the attitudes of the dolls. Other than the few grammar/punctuation errors that I pointed out above, my only other qualms about this story were 1. The toys fighting was also a bit too predictable, and 2. the plot. It wasn’t that you had a bad plot - the idea was fascinating – but you have numerous alleys of potential to follow, but I feel as if you ignored a lot of them. When Therese was first introduced and she first spoke (“Goodness, how I loath this corset. You would think your father was trying to suck the air out of me. Not that I have air left to suck…That’s probably why. I was probably a girl once, just like you, until these awful boned corsets came in style. Death by fashion.” , I liked her attitude. It seemed like a very mature attitude, especially for Rosemary, and I expected some sort of doll-controlling-the-child kind of story to unfold. Granted, you did what was unexpected and did NOT follow this path, although the story might have been more interesting this way. Also, the last words Therese says are sort of dark, and it might have been interesting if the toys had purposely tried to get the father to kill Rosemary. ( When I first read the words “Death by father,” this is what I thought would have happened…That maybe he got mad enough at Rosemary for making a mess of the toy shop that he murdered her. ) The possibilities are endless on this one!
Anyway, this was quite an enjoyable story, and I hope I’ve helped you out (even if I sounded a bit harsh…sorry about that!) for this story or some of your future stories. And thank you so much for entering my contest!
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Good Children's Tale!
I got caught up in this story. I knew Rosemary was in for it. Funny how the toys all came to action in her presence. She had a wild imagination. Thanks for entering our contest.
Andy
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Hah!
This was really great. I liked reading it. You did an excellent job with making a bizarre concept - dolls and toys being alive and foul-tempered - work really well.
Great job with this. I'm very impressed. ....And creeped out, if only because I watched too many Chucky movies as a kid. ;-) -
The Ending
Ha! That is adorable XD I love how she acted out her father's reaction! So cute! If I were one of the toys there I would have been rolling on the floor! I definately like this ending better! Great job!!!
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GREAT!!
Had I been that one armed bear I would have been highly upset. An arm is an arm after all. This was a lot of fun to read. This is the kind of story you could forge a future with. If you wished it you could write an entire series about Rosemary and the toys and all their quirky adventures.
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Excellent!
I really enjoyed this story.
The descriptions are excellent with the pictures appearing straight off of the page in to my imagination without having to think about it.
Which in my opinion is what it is all about!
It is a very well written piece with a very warm fuzzy feel. I think perhaps and this is only a suggestion a wee twist at the end to keep the reader on their toes would be an option if you were up for it.
Once again very well written.
All the best.
jsdk
beginning: 4, language: 4, ending: 3.
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Good Luck
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Nice. Very creative and good. I liked the variety of characters. Thanks!
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Thank you for sharing this really cute story with me in my contest! I totally enjoyed reading it.
Very well written, I enjoyed the humor in it.
I wish you lots of luck in my contest!
Keep up the great work!
Annie 
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loved it again
i loved it this time too i reda it twice now -
I really liked it. The story was humorous and cute. I especially liked the mexican bear, that was the best. It was very creative! Good job!
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i liked the title alot
really liked the story too -
imaginative
Reading this tale, I could picture all the events taking place. The story was well put together even if the ending was a bit predictive. I liked it very much.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 2, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Imaginative
First Comment!
This is creative and fun. I just adore little squabbles like that and the fun and excitement of it all. This is a great story and you should definitley keep on writing
beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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Thank you for your feedback and applause.
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Adorable
This is fascinating and original. There is a moral to the story, also. I like the mixture of fantasy and reality. I had to giggle at the little girl's reasoning process, so very realistic! I didn't quite understand what you meant by "To your room!"
but the rest of the story is very clear. Kudos!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Cute
I love the setting, warm and comforting. It reminds me of Toy Story. The personalities of the toys are cute and win lots of smiles. A great children's story.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Creative
I really enjoyed this story. It was innocent but not annoyingly so. The little girl, Rosemary, actually reminded me or many of my friends, innocent but devious with a knack for getting into some kind of trouble. THe talking toys was very well thought out( the love the mexican bear!). YOu had a strong storyline and it flowed well, though the ending seemed abrupt. I wouldn't mind reading about her Daddy's reaction to all the broken mess. Good use of puns (boxing/sport vs boxing/packing) Good work ^^beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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I changed the ending entirely. I took your suggestion about detailing her father's reaction. Could you tell me what you think of it now if you get the chance? Thank you.
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Very good, but...
acidy < Acidic, maybe? Also, I think it's jack in the box, not jack and the box. But I'm not sure... Anyway, this was an incredible story, up until the end. The dialogue at that point became rather cliche. The plot and word choice also became a bit cliche, at that point, and the ending was extremely anticlimactic.
It still is very good, the ending just needs fixing.
22/30beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 1, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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