Looking at me

Everyday you walk by looking at me
As I think to myself do you love me
Or is it just me hold your head up
I'ts not just you it's you to
Always grins at me thinking to your self
I'm always wondering what you are thinking
Will I ever know I don't thank so
You won't tell me I wish you would
Please tell me I have a right to know
And then you did you told me
It's not me you love it's my best friend
Thats always at my house
You love her I'm not even mad

Author notes

I no it's stupid but o well

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • I Dare to Dream
    July 25, 2007

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    Nooo, it's not stupid, but BEAUTIFUL! You are very good at conveying the emotion of love and mixing it with a little sweetness or sadness that leaves people crying yet wanting more.

  • Cat mushroom
    April 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oddness.


  • asthray.heart
    March 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this but it was a tad confusing to read and understand, the flow needs to be more together.

    Lady Madeline


  • DarkDayMagic
    February 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The flow is a little off but I liked this alot. Once you catch the rhythm of the words you can get a better sense of what it's about. I am not a poet and I wouldn't change a word but breaking this up just a little would make it a bit easier to follow.


  • Kari gold member
    February 1, 2007

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    This was really cool I liked it. I don't think it is stupid at all..you expressed yourself very well.
    Kari


  • Mai4ever
    January 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I have to agree with what Stone Angel said. More punctuation would help the flow and spell check would also contribute. But I really like your idea. It was a good start but just needs to finishing touches. Keep it up, Eva! We all wuv you!


  • Rebel Rebel silver member
    January 28, 2007

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    Kick her out.

    And toss him out with her. Emotional writes like this really set me off. She needs to find her own man. Tell her to leave yours alone. If he is really yours. If not then set him free.

    I know I was wrong to have had that four year affair with my sister's boyfriend. God forgive me. I am now on the side of women who have been done wrong.


  • TheRandomToaster
    January 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Okay, you need tons of spelling help and this poem is REALLY confusing. Try adding some punctuation with questions and so forth. Try running this through spell check or something, it would be really good if the reader wasn't distracted by the spelling and everything. Good try though.

1 - 8 of 8