Chasing cars

Walking past the big fountain, we made our way under the tall, shady tree. It was my favorite tree with its grand stature, always towering over me to provide shade and never leaving its spot. I sat down on the grass moist with dew and sweat from the children who always seemed to play their ballgames just a few inches away.

There was a lot on my mind and I just couldn’t stay on my feet any longer, it was too much of a burden for body to have to suffer like my mind was. It was different for him. He liked staying up on his feet, frantically leaving his mark on the grass as he paced left, right, left, right, left and around. It helps him think better, he would say. I loved this guy, even if it was unacceptable to others. I had no one else to care for me when I felt so empty.

We had a problem and we ran to this park to reason a way out or an easier way through. It wasn’t a life or death decision, it was worse. I would rather die at this moment and in this place than to continue to live a life I would never be satisfied with. I expected there to be some refusals, but none close to what actually happened.

I sat there against the tree following his body with both of my eyes as it paced in front of me. He stopped and fixated his eyes on me. Once I knew I got his attention, I lightly patted the patch of grass to the right of me, signaling him to take a seat. We stayed there, leaning against each other like the sides of the roof of a house. There was no need for anyone or anything else. It was one of those rare times when the feeling of insignificance felt good. We were nothing in an area of infinite time and infinite space.

“We’ll do it all, everything on our own. We don’t need anything or anyone.” Always, in these situations, he says something better than I could ever hope for. “I don't quite know how to say how I feel. I love you.”

“Those three words are said too much. They’re not enough.”

“If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we’re told before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s bursting into life.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I wanted someone who I could share everything with. Any emotions I felt, I did not want to hide. Some people may choose to be alone, I don’t.

“All that I am, all that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes… they’re all I can see. I don’t know where, confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all” I said this with such an insecure tone; I don’t know what went through his head as he heard it.

“I see, well, they don’t have to change for us. We can just ignore them. Let’s go catch a cab. Let’s take matters in our own hands. We don’t need anyone’s permission. We’re perfectly capable of making our own decisions, no matter how huge it may be.” He said with a passion I’ve never seen in him before. I can never deny my love for him. If anything ever happens to me, I know he can lace me back together again. I need to spend the rest of my life with him.

“Are you serious about getting married now? I mean... what they said... about... you know.” I replied with shocked tone in my voice.

“Yes, I'm serious. I'm sure of it. I don’t have a ring to give to you now, but I give you my heart.”

“I don’t care about a ring. You know that I don’t” That said, we both got up, ignoring grass stains all over our formal dinner clothes and ran to the intersection that was right outside the park. Three yellow taxi cabs disregarded our cries for a ride, but the fourth one stopped right in front of us.

We entered and drove off to start our new life together. We both looked out of the window, the left window for him and the right window for me. It started to rain, but that did not bother me one bit. I turned to him and put a smile on my face. He turned to me moments later, and smiled back. It's been hours since one of us has smiled. I was glad that we were doing this.

Author notes

Written specifically for a contest. A story using the lyrics from Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol for most of the dialogue.

I'm thinking about continuing it, maybe after the contest is over. Any suggestions?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • LittleAnn
    March 7, 2007
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    This is great, I just love the song so I had to read this! And I am not disappointed! This was really interesting to read, I love how you used the lyrics here...
    I wish you lots of luck in the contest!
    Keep on writing!
    Annie


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    February 5, 2007

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    I love this song!

    I think you did the deed in this contest well. I think you also did justice to the song's beauty... *sighs* Omg, I felt so good while reading it, the whole time, I felt as if I knew exactly how both of them loved each other. If this replaced the real music video (where he's just lying down), maybe I'd like the song even more. ^_^

    THank you for this piece and good luck in the contest!! ^_^


  • The Imagined
    February 5, 2007

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    This is a sweet story. It has a number of run-ons, punctuation mistakes, and other minor errors, but they're easily fixed. It's interesting how you turned the lyrics of the popular song into dialogue, but sounds almost unnatural in that context. It doesn't entirely sound like spoken word. It has the air of a poem in lines like "I don’t know where, confused about how as well." It makes sense that it would sound almost poetic, because it's taken from a song, and songs are virtually musical poems. I like the storyline here and the ending, as well. Careful with the second-to-last sentence. The tense changes.

    Well, good work and good luck in the contest.


  • passion29
    February 2, 2007
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    i just reread this, and since during the competition I read everything fast, I was bored so I reread this. And its really goooooooood how old are you? because if you are young, I'm so jealous, lol!


  • Kameel
    February 1, 2007

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    that was really good, I liked that. It was kind of funny while I was reading it-I kept thinking, hey this sounds like a song! and then afterwards i saw it was. good job with the flow of things.


  • LeXaRoSeViOliN
    January 30, 2007
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    I love this..the incorporation of the quotes from that amazing song is beautiful


  • Mel-the-Believer
    January 28, 2007

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    This was a very wonderful story. I liked it a lot. You did good with this one. Thanks for entering it into the contest. Good luck. God Bless!

  • passion29
    January 28, 2007
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    i really liked this. you incorparated the song into a beautiful love story. I like how you remained aloof about the problems facing these people. It creates mystery, and you also make people want to carry on reading. Good job!

1 - 9 of 9