Another Day In Thier Lives [Complete]

“I don’t know why I did it dad.. Honest” Shaun spoke. Paul was leaning on the kitchen table where they had been 2 years ago discussing cadee.

“It’s okay. I just never knew. You had so many girlfriends and I heard you…”

“Dad, that was fake. It was just so no one was suspicious. It all started when cadee..”

“Cadee? I thought..”

“Dad, you were crazy if you thought it was only lust, well for me it was more. And I never told her. Now she’s still with Sarina and she couldn’t be happier”

“And having fun as I can hear now..”

“Yuck” Shaun said disgusted. Cadee was the only girl he had made love to. Yes there were the other girls but that was just fake. Nothing compared to her. “she was one of the reasons I tried that night”

“I thought that was because of your mother?” Paul exclaimed.

“That was part of it. I had spoken to cadee beforehand, and she said she felt nothing but lust. It cut, it hurt me so fucking bad”

“I know son” Paul said whilst holding Shaun. “I know”

“Could you do me a favor dad?”

“And would that be to go quiet those girls down?”

“Yeah. All three girls” Shaun joked. His father looked at him with a confused face. “Adam's there too”

“Okay.. I’ll go sort this out” Paul said as he walked out of the kitchen, leaving Shaun to wonder about what was going on with his life. He had feelings for his best mate, Sebastian. And he knew he had feelings back but he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. It just wouldn’t be the same. He was interrupted from his thoughts when there was a knock on the door.

“Coming” he yelled out as cadee met him in the entrance room.

“I still am” she said with a smile as she answered the door. There stood Sebastian with a shocked expression on his face.

“Hi, uh..” he spoke causing cadee to giggle.

“I’m going upstairs. Daddy ruined our fun” she laughed as she ran upstairs. Sebastian stood watching her and smiled.

“Nice sister. I’m sure she answers the door in her underwear all the time?”

“Only when Sarina is over, oh come in by the way” Shaun said nervously. He watched as Sebastian walked inside and looked around.

“Dammn. Your house is huge”

“Thanks.. I’ll show you my room”

“Ooo why? Am I going to be in there a lot” Sebastian said teasingly.

“I don’t know. Do you want to be?” Shaun said back. Sebastian took his hand and they walked up the stairs just as Paul came out of Cadee’s room.

“Hi sir” Sebastian spoke, releasing his grip on Shaun’s hand.

“Hey, I’m Paul, and don’t call me sir. I’m not old..”

“.. But I may look it” spoke Shaun. “This is Sebastian dad. My mate”

“Glad to meet you Sebastian. And no hanky panky. I said there was a ban of it in my house for a week thanks to the girls”

“Dad..” Shaun said sheepishly. Sebastian smiled and held onto Shaun’s hand again.

“We won’t Paul. We’ll wait for a week” he said with a smile. Shaun’s cheek burned crimson as Paul walked down the stairs in a fit of laughter. As Sebastian entered Shaun’s room he automatically noticed there was no wall space. His whole room was covered in posters of bands as well as photos of his mother, sisters and his father.

“Wow” was all Sebastian managed as Shaun pushed him onto the bed and lay on top of him.

“Can you breathe?” Shaun said amusingly.

“Nope, your fat is crushing me” Sebastian joked back as Shaun kissed him, his tongue parting his lips and searching for his tongue. After a few minutes Shaun pulled away and laughed at a blushing Sebastian.

“Arww.. Your so cute when you blush” Shaun said as he turned to the doorway to find cadee and Sarina smiling at them. “I guess we have an audience” Shaun sighed.

“Yes, we were wondering what you were doing” Sarina smiled. Cadee, well you could tell her smile was painted on. She seemed quite shocked.

“Could you leave us in peace so we could continue?” Sebastian said pushing Shaun off of him.

“Oh but this is interesting..” was all cadee got out before Shaun slammed the door. He walked over and sat beside Sebastian who was smiling at him.

“What are you smiling about?” Shaun laughed.

“I don’t know what are you laughing about?” Sebastian replied. Shaun just smiled and moved Sebastian’s collar, exposing his neck.

“Whoa..” Sebastian managed as Shaun bit a little harder. “That feels.. Amazing”

“Really? Cadee always said I sucked”

“No I didn’t!” came a voice from outside the bedroom door. “I said you weren’t better than Adam” she argued. Shaun stood up and approached the bedroom door.

“You have three seconds before I’m telling dad about the time you and Sarina were taken into the lock up for the night because you were doing explicit..”

“Okay! I’m going, I’m going!” she yelled as she ran down the stairs. Shaun sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, the sweat dripping down onto the floor.

“Come get a drink, it’s fucking hot in here” Shaun spoke to Sebastian who was playing with his earring. Shaun hadn’t noticed he’d got it done.

“Only cause your in here” Sebastian laughed. Shaun threw a pillow at him and took a hold of his hand.

“Come on” Shaun laughed back and walked down stairs with Sebastian. Cadee, Sarina and Adam were sitting at the kitchen table drinking slushies, a mixture of crushed ice and flavoring, in basically nothing. Cadee had her bra and underwear on, Sarina was a bit more tasteful with a top and underwear but Adam was only in his boxers. Sebastian looked at Adam and whispered in Shaun’s ear.

“Why don’t you walk around with no top on?”

“Cause” he whispered back. “It drives cadee nuts” he smiled. “She hates seeing what she can’t have”

“Shut up Shaun. I have my Sarina” cadee argued as Paul walked in.

“Cadee, Shaun. What have I told you? No arguing when we have guests”

“If they were two girls we could have jelly fights” joked Adam causing Paul to lose himself in a fit of laughter.

“That would be messy” Paul laughed. Cadee and Shaun both gave him evil looks. “I’m sorry. It would be though”

“Hey daddy? Didn’t you say no hanky panky in the house for a week?” cadee enquired.

“Yes, why?”

“Well, then why does Sebastian have a fresh hickey on his neck?” cadee laughed. Shaun smiled.

“You have three seconds before I get you” Shaun yelled as cadee squealed and ran off up the stairs. Paul sighed and looked at Adam.

“This will be a funny thing to discuss” he said with a chuckle.

Chapter two

Later that day, as the sun fell behind the mountains Shaun was sitting on the verandah admiring the visibly clear stars that shone in the night sky. It was like they glittered, sparkled, just like Sebastian’s eyes. His eyes were a pale green, which sometimes had a hint of blue behind them, which made them increasingly astonishing to look at. Shaun smiled to himself and turned his ipod up louder. He had ditched listening to all those “emo” bands, he was sick of their constant dribble. Although he still had their pictures on his walls. He still believed they were hot people, and often wished he could look like them. He was interrupted from his thoughts of Sebastian to find cadee ripping his headphones out of his ears.

“I want to talk to you” she spoke coldly. He smiled and patted the seat beside him. “No, thanks. I’d rather stand”

“Alright, cadee. What’s wrong?” he joked but she still remained serious.

“You never told me you liked…”

“.. Boys? Yeah, ever since you actually” he said casually. Cadee felt a sharp pain in her chest. What? Since her? What did she do?

“What do you mean since me?” cadee exclaimed.

“Keep it down. Would you?” he said quietly. “Cadee I don’t think you’ve realized this but I loved you. It wasn’t lust for me and you used me”

“Wait a minute. That doesn’t explain why you’re gay. You had all those girls..”

“And none of them compared to you so I gave up. Are you happy?”

“No!” cadee yelled, waking her father from his daydreaming. “I’m not happy. I can’t believe your blaming me!”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have said I love you if you didn’t mean it” Shaun yelled causing cadee to run inside and up to her room. Paul stood in the doorway and sighed.

“I’m guessing that didn’t go well..” Paul spoke as The Kill began playing from Cadee’s room.

“That’s our song..” Shaun sighed. “Why is she so fucking cut?” he yelled before hitting the wall with his fist.

“Because, women are like that Shaun. And it’s a hard… okay let me rephrase that. It’s a touchy.. Oh fuck it. Look, cadee is just feeling weird because as you said yourself, she doesn’t like seeing what she cannot have. She had you, and now she can’t”

“And Sam was let out of juvie this week..” Shaun sighed causing Paul to stand up straight.

“What? When did this happen?”

“His appeal went through, they believed he had changed. Sarina said she was pretty worked up about it since he swore he’d get her back and all’

“Alright, I need to speak to her about that. Are you alright though?”

“Yes dad. I’m fine. I’m planning on asking Sebastian out”

“Good for you son. But don’t rush into..”

“Dad. No”

“Okay, well I need to speak to cadee. You go check on dinner with Adam for me”

“Sure thing”

.x.

When Sebastian’s mobile rang it awoke him from his dreams. He couldn’t make out what he was dreaming of, but it had left him feeling good, and aroused from the look of his pants. He automatically smiled when he saw the caller id.

“Hey Shaun, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, hey I wanted to ask you something..”

“I’d love to” Sebastian replied without hearing the question.

“I was going to say can I torture you before killing you so you just said okay. What time, where?” Shaun joked. “Wait how..?”

“I’m smarter than I look”

“Hmm, maybe it was me biting you, by the way, has your mother or father seen that yet?”

“No, Danni fixed it with make up so they wouldn’t. She’s good with things like that.”

“Cool. I’m glad. Wouldn’t want to be banned from seeing my sexy, hot..”

“Boyfriend?” Sebastian smiled. He liked the idea of that.

“How’s her girlfriend by the way?”

“Good. I don’t know how my parent’s haven’t figured any of this out by now. It’s pretty obvious”

“Yeah well cadee had a huge hissy fit with me just before. She came and asked me about you and me and when I told her she went off. So did I actually. I must apologize to her”

“Make sure you do that. Shit I got to go. I can hear mother coming up the stairs, see you tomorrow”

“Love ya” Shaun said with a smile.

“Love ya too” Sebastian replied smiling also. Shaun put his phone down and smiled at Paul who was looking at him from the doorway.

“Well?” he asked.

“Well what dad? Isn’t it obvious?”

“My son’s got a boyfriend, my son’s got a boyfriend” Paul yelled up the hall way and back. Adam looked out of his door and got caught up in Paul’s interpretation of Cadee’s happy dance. When cadee emerged Shaun smiled at her but she just looked away and went back into her room. She picked up her mobile and smiled when she noticed she had a message. It was probably Sarina saying goodnight, but she was shocked at the surprise.

“Hey there sweetie. Guess who? Ha ha. I’m back and ready to come for you. How about that make up sex now sweetheart? I’m sure Sarina can join in. I’d love a threesome some time. Call me”

Cadee screamed and threw her phone on her bed. Paul, Adam and Shaun all ran in to find her curled up in a ball on the floor, crying her eyes out.

“What’s wrong Hun?” her father spoke as he sat down beside her and cradled his daughter in his arms.

“Daddy” faith called from the hallway. When Adam came back with a scared Faith Paul realized Cadee’s scream had scared her. Paul sat for a moment with both of his daughters in his arms.

“Nobody is going to hurt any of my children, be them mine or somebody else’s. Anybody living in this house right now is my child and I will look after him or her with my life. Were not having any more lives lost” Paul declared. Cadee reached for her phone and dialed the number Sam had texted from. Sarina answered.

Chapter three

“Sarina! Where are you? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Whoa cadee, what’s with all the questions babes? I lost my phone on the way home and somebody left it at the café. Why?”

“Have you checked through your phone? Like to make sure nothing has been deleted, all my messages are hidden?”

“Cadee, what is going on?”

“Babes, please come over here right now”

.x.

When Sarina arrived cadee was still crying. She held her close and kissed her cheek before handing her mobile over.

“Sam texted me from your mobile babes. He must have picked it up”

“Oh my god…” Sarina managed. “What does this mean? What did his text say?”

“That he would love make up sex, and you would be a bonus” cadee said with eyes full of tears. Adam, Shaun and Paul were speaking with a police officer in the front room. The officer walked in and examined the two girls huddled together on the floor.

“Well your going to have to get a restraint order against him. That’s all. He hasn’t done anything yet”

“What a big fucking help” cadee cried. “So when I’ve been bashed up or raped you’ll do something. Yeah, that’s a big fucking help” she said as she ran upstairs and into her room, slamming the door behind her. Sarina ran after her and Adam and Shaun followed. Paul sighed and smiled.

“Sorry about that, she’s been having a bad day”

“yes well, speak with her. And wash her mouth out” was all the officer said before leaving. Paul went upstairs to talk to cadee when a picture of Miranda caught his eye.

“Miranda, these are the times when I need you the most” he sighed and continued up stairs. He could hear Shaun in his room on the phone again. He knocked and opened the door to see Shaun laughing.

“Keep it clean” Paul said jokingly. Shaun threw a pillow at the door and continued on with his conversation. When Paul entered Cadee’s room both girls were laying on Cadee’s bed staring at the roof.

“I wonder what he’d do to me” cadee spoke. Sarina looked at her and frowned.

“Don’t you mean us?”

“No, cause he’s not touching you. If he has to get back at me he has to deal with me. Not you”

“Arww” Sarina blushed. “That’s why I love you”

“Girls?” Paul spoke. They both looked over and sat up. “Are you okay? Sarina I need to contact your mother. Tell her your staying here for the night so the police can speak to you both in the morning”

“Sure. Did you want me to dial her number or something?” Sarina asked quietly. Cadee held her hand as they stood up.

“Yes please. If that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah. Um where’s your phone?”

“In Shaun’s hand, and that’s not the only thing..”

“…Dad!” cadee exclaimed. “That’s gross!”

“Phone sex is odd, cadee” her father said with a smile. Both girls blushed and walked over to Shaun’s door.

“Shaun! We need the phone!” cadee bashed on the door before entering. Shaun was at the point of orgasm.

“Uhh, Sebastian, I really have to go. My sister and her girlfriend just walked in. yes, I love you too”

‘Mmmmm oh seb. That’s so good. Oh my cock is huge, throbbing for you” cadee mimicked. “We need the phone. Oh and I’m glad you can feel free to masturbate at a fucking time like this”

“Well it’s not my problem, is it?” Shaun said as he threw the phone towards the door.

“It partly fucking is” cadee mumbled as she walked away.

“No it’s not” Shaun argued. Cadee turned around and glared at him before handing the phone to Sarina.

“Yes it fucking is” cadee yelled at him before slamming the door behind her.

“Stop swearing cadee. Your old enough now not to swear in every sentence”

“I can’t believe your jacking off while I am suffering!”

“Maybe I like it when you suffer cadee. You know how I felt two years ago”

“Oh fuck you Shaun. I didn’t fucking know did I? You didn’t bother telling me! No you fucking didn’t!” she yelled as she left the room.

“Oh blow me cadee” Shaun said amused.

“Already fucking have” she screamed as she walked down the stairs.

“She has a point you know” Adam interrupted.

“What about the blowing bit or not telling her”

“About not telling her. I’m not defending her, since she has no right to go off like this. But you could have told her. She is also right about the blowing bit” Adam said as he held up her diary. Shaun laughed and watched as Adam left the room, her diary tightly in his grasp.

“Nothing has changed. Nothing has fucking changed” he said as he reached for his mobile. He had to text Sebastian and let him know what was going on. He liked the sound of Seb, so he included it in his text, as well as saying I love you and babe. He knew that would make Sebastian call his mobile straight away. Which he wanted, and got. His phone automatically vibrated on his stomach. Causing him to jump before reaching for his phone and answering it.

“I knew that would be you, vibrating against my stomach” Shaun teased.

“Mmm, stop being a tease Shaun” Sebastian moaned back. “And what’s with Seb? I like it” he said with a hint of cheekiness in his voice.

“Hmm, well I liked the sound of it too. Even though my sister came up with it” he said with a sigh.

“She had her smart moments” Sebastian laughed. “It sounds, hot”

“Mmm, I need you” Shaun moaned back. “I need you bad… more than bad. I need you incredibly”

“That’s better” Sebastian moaned. “Hey Shaun, want to know how my cock feels in my hand, between my fingers, rubbing up and down”

“Not really, since you’re being a tease. And it’s costing you a lot of money on your mobile, or your home phone” Shaun answered back.

“Fuck my parents. They pay for everything”

“I’d rather not…” Shaun moaned at the sound Sebastian moaning himself. “I’d rather..”

“…Do you?” Paul said from the doorway. Shaun sat up and blushed.

“I can’t get any fucking privacy” Shaun sighed.

“I’ll come see you tomorrow if it’s a bad time” Sebastian suggested.

“Yeah, it is. I’ll see you tomorrow babe”

“Sure. Love you. Keep them pants on” he joked.

“Love you too and they’ll stay on until you come over” Shaun put down his phone and stared at his father. “Dad, do you mind?”

“No, I don’t have a problem with phone sex”

“I was meaning the fact that I can’t talk…”

“Oh, you were doing more than talking. And I can’t help it if you leave your door open” Adam walked past and saw exactly what was going on.

“Okay, I really didn’t want to see that” Adam sighed. Cadee and Sarina looked in and laughed.

“CAN’T EVERYONE JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A MINUTE!” Shaun screamed, sending cadee and Sarina running into her room for fear of being hit with something. Adam continued on to his room and Paul shut the door. Shaun searched around for his razorblade and found it under his bed, like always. He pushed it into ankle and felt the sudden urge of pain. He hadn’t even thought of this since the night he tried to take his life, but was stopped.

Paul had come in to see why Shaun hadn’t been out to see what the commotion was about and found him lying on the floor, unconscious and in a pool of blood. His wrists were the cause of the flood where 20 cuts were open and gushing. Paul had screamed out for help to get cadee who passed out upon seeing the mess that was Shaun. In the end Adam came in and called an ambulance.

Shaun had spent 6 months in hospital, regaining his strength in his left wrist and hand. He had cut too deep on that wrist and cut off all movement in his hand. Cadee didn’t speak to him for a while and he lost his friends as they now believed his sister had turned him “emo”.

When he finally returned to school Sebastian was the only person who cared enough about him to leave the “popular group” and be with him. He ended up failing every class except English and art where he got majors.

To this day Sebastian had stuck by him and never judged him, he had loved him. And it took Shaun at least a year before he worked it all out. Sebastian loved him, and he loved him too.

Chapter four

“Shaun?” came a voice from the hallway the next morning. Shaun rubbed his eyes and stretched. He looked at his phone and realized it was 11:30am.

“Yeah, come in” he said, sounding groggy and confused. He hadn’t slept in this long in a while. When Sebastian’s face emerged from behind the door he was relieved.

“Hey, are you alright? You look awful” Sebastian said as he sat down on the bed and examined Shaun.

“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep all that good. Plus my ankle is killing me” Shaun said pulling back his covers. All his sheets underneath were tinted scarlet and his blade was lying beside his foot. Sebastian jumped up and stared at his ankle.

“Shit babe.. What?” he said confused.

“Sorry. It was last night, when you called me and my dad was standing at the door watching me. I was really mad”

“It’s okay, come into the bathroom and I’ll help clean you up”

“You say that like I’m a baby” Shaun joked.

“You are my baby” Sebastian said as he closed the bathroom door leaving Adam to wonder what had been going on. When Adam saw the blood all over Shaun’s sheets he went to the bathroom and knocked as loudly as possible.

“Shaun can I talk to you?” Adam yelled.

“Yeah, in like a minute. I’m busy”

“NOW!” Adam screamed. When the door opened Adam quickly walked in and shut the door. He surveyed the damage Shaun had done to his ankle and sighed.

“Alright, were going to have to say you tripped up the stairs or something. We’ll use a bandage so it hides the cuts” Adam said as he looked in the cupboard. Sebastian smiled.

“You act as if you’ve done this before..”

“…Well if you look at my wrists I have” Adam replied as he wrapped a bandage around Shaun’s ankle.

“Cadee…?” Sebastian repeated to himself.

“Yeah. That was a while ago. She and I were close, real close. And it just got complicated. She didn’t know what she wanted”

“I hear that” Shaun agreed. “She never knew what she wanted” he finished, as there was a knock on the door.

“Shit, that will be the police, and the other’s are in the back yard” Adam sighed. “Alright seb, one arm each and we’ll help him down the stairs”

They both grabbed under one of his arms and helped him hop down the stairs. When they finally got to the door Paul was in the kitchen coming through to answer it.

“Whoa, what’s up with Shaun?” Paul said as he opened the door. “Hey officer, the girls are in the backyard. I’ll call them up and then I’ll sort out here..” he said pointing to Shaun, Adam and Sebastian.

“Do you need some help fellas?” the female officer asked.

“We should be fine. He’s heavy” they joked. When they had sat him down in the kitchen they both fell back onto the table.

“I’m not that fucking heavy guys” he said laughing. The officer looked at him and raised her eyebrows. “..Uhh… sorry..”

“That’s okay. Just keep it to a minimum please” she smiled as she looked to see the two girls happily bring faith upstairs. When they had seated themselves at the table Paul turned his attention to Shaun.

“What did you do?” he questioned.

“I tripped up the stairs in the middle of the night. I went to get a drink and when I came back I like missed a step, I think it twisted”

“Do you want me to look at it?” Paul said looking down at the ankle wrapped up nicely.

“Nah, I just got to try and stay off it. Mum taught me something about ankles from when I played football”

“Okay, well do you want to see if Sebastian can stay for dinner? Sarina is staying here until all of this is sorted out, so they can have a constant watch on the house”

“Sure” Sebastian answered.

“Well go call your mother, father? One of the two and get their permission”

“I’ll call my dad. He’ll still be home” Sebastian said as he helped Shaun into the lounge room. He helped Shaun onto the couch then found their phone.

“Hey dad, Is it alright if I stay for dinner?” he smiled and winked at Shaun. “Oh I’m sure it would be alright, would you like to talk to him?” a cheeky smile crept onto his lips, which Shaun found fascinating. “Okay, his names Paul” Sebastian said as he went to find Paul. When he returned a minute later with Paul on the phone Shaun was a little curious as to what was going on.

“Alright well if you just drop off some clothes I’ll drop him home in the morning” Paul smiled then laughed. “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry there’s enough room for everyone here” he laughed again before handing the phone to Sebastian.

“Sure dad. I’ll see you then. Okay. Bye” he said before jumping onto the couch with Shaun.

“What’s got you so happy?” Shaun asked.

“Dad asked if I could sleep over seeing as though my parents were going out for the night. And your dad being the best said yes”

“Fuck yeah..” Shaun yelled as the police officer walked past. “Oh.. Uhh… sorry… again” the officer just smiled and shook her head before walking out of the front door. Paul walked in and looked at the two boys on the couch.

“Okay, so were going to have a barbeque for dinner. Is that alright with you two?”

“Yes sounds good” said Sebastian. Shaun nodded and smiled.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take a look at that ankle? It could get infected” Paul said with a smile. Shaun’s heart stopped beating for a few seconds until Paul shook his head. “I saw your sheets this morning when I came in to turn your stereo off. I want to take a look at it please”

Sebastian held onto Shaun’s hand as his father took the bandages off his ankle. When he saw the extent of the cuts he frowned.

“Alright, I’m going to go and get the foot spa and your going to sit on the verandah and keep your foot in it. Got it?”

“Sure dad” Shaun sulked. Sebastian smiled and helped him up.

“If you just help him to the verandah Sebastian I’ll get the foot spa for him”

“Okay” Sebastian called to Paul as he sat Shaun one of the chairs on the verandah. He kissed him before taking a look at his ankle. It had a number of deep lacerations on it, which would need a lot of attention. When Paul stumbled out with the foot spa Sebastian stood up and moved out of the way.

“Alright. Keep your foot in there for a while. It will take the pain out of it” Paul said with a smile as he heard a knock at the door. “That would be your father?” Paul asked.

“Yeah, he’d be on his way to work to pick up my mum” Sebastian said as he kissed Shaun’s head as he stood up to walk to the door with Paul.

“Hey there, I don’t believe we’ve met” Sebastian’s dad said to Paul.

“I’m Paul” he said and put out his hand.

“I’m Kenneth, but call me ken” he spoke as he shook Paul’s hand.

“Would you like to come in for a moment?” Paul asked.

“Oh well I must. I haven’t yet had the chance to meet the beautiful Faith” he laughed. Paul showed him out to the verandah were Shaun was still sitting with his foot in the water, his ankle stinging.

“Shaun fell off our motorbike last night” Paul sighed before winking at Sebastian.

“Oh I didn’t know you had a motorbike. What kind?”

“Well we don’t anymore, it was just a dirt bike. Pretty basic but somehow he managed to hurt himself” Paul joked. Sebastian was relieved that he hadn’t told him the truth. His dad wouldn’t have let him stay otherwise. His family was one of the wealthiest in this part of Brisbane, earning enough to own a piece of land that would accommodate five houses as well as 2 Porsche 911’s that his dad liked to call his baby’s and a Ferrari. Both his father and mother still worked even though they were well above financially stable which meant they were hardly ever home. Sebastian could have anything he wanted, but didn’t. he wanted his parents to except him as gay, but they wouldn’t, ever. So he just kept quiet.

“Well I best be off” Kenneth said as he put down a fidgeting faith. “Stephanie will be wondering where I am”

“Tell mum I said goodnight” Sebastian said to his father who was walking inside with Paul.

“I will. And behave yourself”

“Sure thing dad. I’ll behave” Sebastian said with a smile. Shaun shook his head and lent on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Why wouldn’t your parent’s accept you? Do they think it’s wrong?”

“Yes. I don’t know why. I never saw anything wrong with it. Like I knew I didn’t like girls and I only had those few girlfriends to stop the guys from thinking I was odd. They’d have kicked my arse back then”

“I saw them the other day. Biggest bunch of faggots I’ve ever seen”

“That’s an offence to us babe” Sebastian smiled. There was something about his smile that made everything all right. Shaun loved the way his hair always fell across his eyes. It made him seem mysterious, and yet so gorgeous. His hair was dirty blonde, like all the surfer guys you see down the beaches. His eyes always seemed to shine, like there was glitter caught on them.

“Did you know you have the most amazing eyes?” Shaun asked Sebastian whose cheeks went crimson. “Seriously. They’re hot”

“They are seb” cadee said as she walked up the stairs. “They’re like green. You don’t find many people with green eyes like yours. There nice” she finished before heading inside. Sebastian was blushing even more and Shaun smiled.

“Arww you’re so cute when you blush” Shaun fussed.

“Shut up you” Sebastian laughed. He lent his head on Shaun’s and closed his eyes. He liked it here, it was quiet and peaceful. He could just stay here forever. It would be perfect. They were both awoken from their thoughts when Sarina screamed. Cadee and Paul both ran outside to see a brick sitting right beside Sarina’s foot. A note was attached.

Chapter five.

“When the pigs go away, Sam tends to play” Paul read to himself. Cadee and Sarina sat cuddled up to each other and Shaun and Sebastian sat with Adam who was annoyed that Sam was still around.

“We’ve got to do something dad” Shaun said to break the silence. “We can’t just let him keep going with this”

“I know we can’t. But the police can’t do anything” he sighed. “he hasn’t done anything illegal”

“Stalking?” enquired cadee who had remained quiet until now.

“They can’t prove he’s watching us constantly” Paul sighed.

“And now I’ve brought Sebastian into it as well” sighed Shaun. He was worried this would happen. “I want to smash this fucker”

“That’s not the solution babe. You’d end up in jail and we’d lose you instead of him. His plan is to stay low, so the police will stop watching the house so he can strike”

“Then..” cadee stood up. “..Why is he throwing messages? If that was his plan wouldn’t he have not made it so obvious?”

“Maybe your on to something. He’s trying to cover up his real plan by making us think…” Shaun looked at everyone and smiled.

“If we ignore him. And stay as a group, he won’t attack. He wants cadee and possible Sarina alone”

“Alright. Whenever were going someone, we all go”

“Dad, we can’t let Sebastian go home. We need him here. I don’t trust this creep. He’ll do anything to get to cadee”

“My parent’s aren’t going to understand..” Sebastian trailed off as his phone rang. He looked at his phone and realized it was his dad.

“Hey dad, what’s up?” Sebastian smiled. “Oh dad, I don’t know. It may be a hassle. I’ll ask him now” Sebastian covered the mouthpiece and smiled. “They won’t ever know” he uncovered the mouthpiece and smiled. “He said it’s fine dad. I’ve got enough stuff, if I run out I’ll borrow some of Shaun’s” he laughed. “Yes were about the same size dad. Don’t worry. Have fun..” he laughed again. “Tell mum I love her too” Sebastian hung up the phone and smiled.

“Okay, what is fine with me?” Paul enquired, everyone looking at Sebastian.

“My parents had to go on a business trip. So they need me to stay here, as they like you and you said there was plenty of room”

“I’m amazed” cadee smiled. “Something’s working with us for once”

“Okay.. Well we need to eat. I know it feels weird being harassed but ignore it. Act like he’s not around. I’ll call the police in a minute and let them know..” Cadee’s phone rang on the coffee table. She walked over and stared it for a moment before picking it up.

“Hello?”

“I suspected your brother was a faggot. He punches like a girl”

“Oh hey Sam, how are you? I’ve missed you so much”

“Don’t humour me bitch. I promised your mother I’d get you back in the end. So that’s what I’m going to do. And if any of those fuckers you’ve got at your house try and stop me, well they’ll go down too”

“Sure. See you later” she said with a smile.

“Your sure too” he said before hanging up. Cadee smiled as her father turned off the recorder.

“Did you get everything daddy?” she smiled.

“Yes. And he isn’t taking any of us down. If anything happens. I’m standing In front of all of you. I’m not having anyone else hurt. Have you all got me?”

“Yes sir” they all said after one another.

“Good. Now were going to eat. I am hungry” he laughed.

.x.

After dinner Shaun and Sebastian went upstairs to his room to relax.

“Babe” Sebastian said soothingly. “Your really tense. Don’t worry about me please”

“I brought you into this. I shouldn’t have. I’m really..”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I came into this myself. I want to make sure your safe and your sister, and your family” he said as he began massaging Shaun’s shoulders. “You got sun burnt on the verandah this afternoon”

“Yeah I get these funny little tingles when ever you touch my shoulders”

“Sorry..” Sebastian said quietly.

“Hey it feels good. So don’t say sorry. I wasn’t aloud to so your not” he said with a grin.

“Are you sure it’s the sunburn?” Sebastian joked. Shaun turned over and lay staring up at him.

‘I don’t know… I am feeling a bit aroused”

“Yeah I can tell by your pants” Sebastian laughed. He lent down and kissed Shaun, their tongues automatically finding each other’s and searching each other’s mouths. Sebastian pulled away and smiled.

“Are you sure the door is locked?” he said with a cheekier smile. Shaun sat up and pulled him closer.

“I’m sure” he breathed onto Sebastian’s neck before nibbling at his skin, leaving purple marks up his neck. Sebastian lent back on the bed and lost himself in heaven. He hadn’t felt his happy in, well forever. Shaun moved up and bit at Sebastian’s lip to wake him from his thoughts.

“Hey you alive or just high?” Shaun smiled. Sebastian opened his eyes and looked into Shaun’s.

“Would it sound corny if I said I love you?” Sebastian said quietly.

“Would it sound corny if I said I love you too?” Shaun smiled at Sebastian who now had the biggest smile on his face.

.x.

When Shaun couldn’t sleep later that night he looked at Sebastian who was sleeping peacefully beside him.

“I’m so sorry I brought you into this, I didn’t mean to babe. I would do anything for cadee, cause at one stage I loved her but for you I’d do so much more. You’re the answer to every question I asked and your anything I could wish for. I just can’t believe I dragged you into this situation” he whispered into Sebastian’s neck. Sebastian turned over and smiled at him.

“I thought I said don’t say sorry. But all the other stuff you said makes up for your mistake” Sebastian joked. Shaun put his hand on Sebastian’s cheek and kissed him lightly. “You should get some sleep” he smiled.

“Yeah I know. I was just worried..”

“Don’t be. If anything happens we’ll know about it. Rest babe. You really need it”

“I know…” he said before getting closer to Sebastian. “I know..”

Chapter six

Cadee awoke early to her phone ringing. Thinking it was Sam; she quickly checked the caller id. Christian?

“Hey, Christian. It’s been a while”

“Yeah, I know. I was just worried that’s all. After Sarina had told me about everything. How is everyone?”

“Scared. This shit with Sam has gone to far. The police are doing nothing”

“Why not?”

“They haven’t got any evidence that it’s him”

“What shit” he sighed.

“Are you smoking?” cadee asked amused.

“Yes I am. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. By the way, Shaun has an adorable boyfriend called Sebastian. It’s so cute. They say I love you and kiss really sweetly”

“Unlike you and Sarina?”

“Shut up you. Were sweet when we want to be. And were dirty at times too”

“Yes I know, she sent me some of the pictures. Just how I like to see my best friends.. Anyways. I’d say I’d come see you but I don’t want to get caught up in all the problems. Once it’s over you, me and Sarina are having a reunion”

“Yes. We will. We’ll keep texting you to let you what’s going on”

“Sure. Take care” he said with a worried tone. Cadee smiled to herself.

“We’ll try. We’ll sure as hell try” she said before hanging up. She stretched as she got up out of bed and walked out of her bedroom door to find Shaun and Sebastian standing in the hall way.

“Why are you two up so early?” she said before yawning.

“We heard you on the phone and wondered what was going on. It wasn’t Sam was it?” Shaun asked as he almost overbalanced.

“No, it wasn’t. And you shouldn’t be standing on that ankle. Come on downstairs.

I’ll make you so breakfast” she said as she held one side of Shaun. He smiled as she put some eggs into the fry pan on the stove.

“I’m just going to the toilet babe” Sebastian spoke. Shaun kissed him before smiling at him. He watched him walk off before he looked at cadee.

“Thanks for what you said about us”

“What did I say about you?” cadee enquired with a smile. Shaun smiled at her and shook his head as Sebastian entered the room with a half awake Paul behind him.

“Why in hell are you all up so early? It’s Saturday” Paul said with a groan.

“Cadee got a phone call so we had to make sure who it was” Shaun said as he rubbed his eyes.

“A phone call? Must not have been too important”

“It was Christian daddy. He was worried about us”

“I would be too” Paul thought. He hadn’t let his worries show until he was sure everyone was asleep. He looked at the photo of Miranda on the wall and spoke to her.

Telling her of everything that was going on and how he missed her every minute he lived.

“Daddy..” faith said from the door. Tears were falling from her eyes and she hugged her teddy bear tightly in her arms.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” Paul said as he picked her up.

“Something came in my window… the window went everywhere” she whimpered. Paul looked at cadee before passing faith to Shaun and running up stairs. Sebastian gave cadee a hug as she was now crying. She wanted this nightmare to end.

“What does it say?” Shaun asked when Paul, followed by Sarina, came down the stairs. Cadee walked away from Sebastian and found comfort in Sarina’s arms.

“It will come sooner than you think” Paul read. Cadee looked at everyone before running out onto the verandah.

“Where the fuck are you?!?” she screamed before Adam ran out and grabbed her down from the table she was standing on.

“I can’t do it… I can’t” she whimpered as Adam held onto her tight.

“I know, but we’ll make it. We will make it”

.x.

Cadee sat in the lounge room as an officer spoke to her father.

“Can’t you do something?” Paul yelled at the over weight, quite short officer. He was the stereotypical police officer cadee thought as Shaun sat next to her and put an arm round her.

“Hey kiddo. What’s going on?” he said with a smile. Cadee smiled for a second before playing with her top.

“I’d love to say nothing and make it all go away”

“I know you would” Shaun spoke as Sebastian, Sarina and Adam sat down with them. “But if life was that easy, we’d all be too high. We’d never know sadness”

“Wouldn’t that be good though?” cadee said through laughter as her father showed the officer the exit. He walked over still fuming over the pudgy little officer’s excuses.

“They say they haven’t seen him any where near the house. But they’ll keep looking” he mimicked. Cadee looked over at the window and sighed.

“He looked like a pig. Short, fat and a pig nose”

“I know” Paul laughed causing everyone to crack up. “I was trying not to say anything”

“What would make you feel better?” Adam asked cadee when they could all breathe again. They had spent a good five minutes laughing after Sarina and Shaun both needed to go to the bathroom.

“I nice barbeque with lots of meat” cadee smiled.

“What is with you and meat? You’re as thin as a stick and you eat a lot of meat” Shaun laughed. “Why aren’t you big and fat and juicy?”

“We could cook her and eat her” Adam laughed. Cadee threw a pillow at him and smiled.

“Can we have a barbeque daddy?” cadee asked. Paul smiled and looked at them all.

“Were going to have to go buy meat, so get out of your pajamas!” he yelled as all the teens ran upstairs. Faith tugged on his pants and smiled.

“You too faith. Come on” he said as he carried her.

Chapter seven

As they walked through the supermarket cadee kept Sarina’s hand firmly in hers. Shaun and Sebastian looked around to keep cadee from feeling too worried. They knew Sam wouldn’t follow them around the supermarket, not with the police searching for him. Adam however believed he was somewhere close.

“All kinds of meat?” Paul asked cadee. Faith was poking at the fat pork sausages Paul had put on her lap a moment earlier.

“Yes. All kinds. And bacon too. We need bacon”

“Can we have onions?” Shaun asked from behind.

“Sure, we’ll get some after we’ve got all this” Paul said as he smiled at the lady standing behind the deli counter. She looked to be in her late forties and not in the mood for the cheery lot that had walked up.

“Can I have a kilo of bacon rashers please?” Paul asked as Shaun smiled at Sebastian. He was mimicking the lady behind the counter by walking around dully.

“Is that all?” asked the woman. Her eyes seemed to beg for him to say no, so Paul did.

“No. That’s all. Have a good day” he said as he walked off. Sebastian and Shaun turning around to give her a insight into their lives. They kissed, tongues roaming in and out of one another’s mouths until Adam came back and grabbed them by the shirt.

“Stop it you two” Adam said with a laugh as they approached the vegetable section. Paul had a bag full of onions when they arrived.

“Onions, is that all now ladies?” Paul said amusingly. Sebastian, Shaun and Adam all glared at him before laughing.

“Sure dad. Let’s go..” cadee said as she stared outside. Everyone seemed so happy, casually going about his or her day. They didn’t know about the horror this simple family was going through, or about to go through.

.x.

When they had returned home the police officers had smiled at them.

“Fucking pigs” Adam exclaimed as they smiled. “I hate them fuckers”

“Only because they threw you in juvie..” cadee smiled. Adam nudged her before he walked inside with some of the meat, whilst Sarina helped faith. Shaun and Sebastian accompanied cadee inside shortly followed by Paul.

“Okay, I’m going to start cooking. You people go run mad and please, no orgasms before dinner” he yelled out causing them all to pretend to cry.

“Dad, that is quite disgusting!” Shaun yelled as he walked upstairs with Sebastian. He smiled as he fell back on to his bed and relaxed. Sebastian lay down beside him and kissed his forehead before placing his head on Shaun’s shoulder.

“How’s your foot feeling?” Sebastian questioned.

“It’s alright, like it hurts and all. But it’s alright”

.x.

Cadee, Sarina and Adam laughed as they recalled moments from high school, including the day that everything had gone wrong. Sam sat on the roof fuming over their ability to laugh about it. He had studied the house, and found a spot to sit where no police could see him, and neither could cadee or anyone else. His plan was about to start, and he couldn’t wait.

“He’s such a dickhead” cadee said as she stood at the doorway. Her father had gone inside to collect Shaun, Sebastian and faith. The others went inside also just to make sure they had everything. Sam climbed down the roof enough that he could spot Cadee’s drink and quickly dropped a sleeping draught into it.

“That’s got her enough time to eat..” Sam said with a laugh as the family walked back out and sat around the table still laughing.

“Okay, we’ve got everything I believe” Paul said as he took a seat beside faith. Cadee looked around and frowned.

“Where’s the tomato sauce dad?” cadee asked whilst looking around. “Don’t worry, I’ll go get it” she smiled as she entered the house once again. Sam watched the plastic cup he had thrown the sleeping draught in carefully. Sarina looked at the two cups and took a drink from one. Sam’s plan had failed.. Or had it?

“I got it!” cadee yelled as she walked back out and sat down. Everyone began digging into the food as well as laughing and recalling favorite stories. When Sarina was half asleep on the table cadee smiled at her.

“Sarina are you okay? Too much meat?” she laughed. Sarina sat up and held her head in her hands.

“I feel awful..” she managed. Paul frowned and motioned for cadee to help her out.

“Go upstairs and lie down. It’s most likely the heat” he spoke as cadee helped her inside. They reached the stairs and Sarina sighed.

“God I hate the heat” she said as they both climbed the stairs, almost falling twice due to Cadee’s clumsiness. When they were finally lying on the bed Sarina let go of the fight to stay awake. She had fallen into a deep slumber as cadee kissed her and ran her fingers through her hair.

.x.

After a while cadee stood up to stretch and change into a cooler top. Sam saw this as the perfect opportunity to jump into the room and put his plan into action. When she had her back turned for a split second he jumped down quietly and stood behind her before placing his hand over her mouth.

“Shhh… or my baby will get you” he said with a smile. Pure evil was flowing through his veins and it showed in his smile. When cadee finally saw what he meant by baby she could have screamed only she couldn’t. he had the sock placed in her mouth just right and his plan was going perfectly.

Chapter eight

Cadee struggled on the floor as Sam tied her hands together.

“Quit struggling, your making this harder on your self” he said with that look of pure evil. He turned to Sarina and smiled as he placed a rope around her hands and feet. She was still in a state of slumber, and wouldn’t wake up for a while.

“Now, my babe. This is how the plan will work. I will have my way and then leave” he said as he ripped open her top.

“Aren’t we being a tad promiscuous, no bra” he smiled wider before he began pinching her, she fought back the courage to kick him, as that would make him angrier. He bit, sucked and pinched until he grew bored of her breasts.

“Now for the main spot. I’m going to skip on the foreplay.. I know how you love it” he joked as he ripped down her pants; exposing her black, lace underwear.

“Black, seems you want sex”

“Fuck you” cadee said, yet it was muffled and barely audible. Sarina had begun to stir when Sam noticed.

“Your friend is awake” he said cheerfully. Cadee felt a wave of terror flow through her; she didn’t want him to touch Sarina. He pulled Sarina down and placed her beside cadee. The only difference was Sarina could speak, cadee couldn’t. when Sam produced the firearm again Sarina just froze.

“Now be quiet, and I won’t use her” he said as he kissed it. Cadee just put her head back and waited. She could see it all playing out in her mind. He’d kill them slowly, and painfully. He thrust into cadee with a force, causing her to bleed heavily at first. She tried to ignore the pain, but it was hard. It stung, and then ached badly. Tears fell out of her eyes and her nose ran. Sarina cried as well, causing Sam to turn to her.

“Ha ha, you’re crying. Well I’ll go hard on you” he laughed as he thrust harder into Sarina, causing her to cry in pain. Cadee began to panic. What If her father heard that and came upstairs. Her fears were worsened when there was a knock on the door, although it wasn’t her father.

“Cadee? Are you alright?” called out Sebastian and Shaun. Sam just smiled and kissed both girls.

“If anyone gets in my way..” he trailed off as he slammed open the door. Frightening Sebastian who was now against the wall. Shaun tried to stop Sam but stumbled backwards as Sam pointed the gun at him. When Paul and Adam heard the bang they knew something was going wrong. They ran inside to see Sam running down the stairs laughing. Sebastian was in a state of shock and unable to move. Adam looked around and saw the kitchen knives..

“Fuck you” he yelled as the knife pierced through Sam’s heart. Paul ran to Shaun’s side and screamed for Adam to get the phone. Sebastian stood and looked down at Shaun who had been shot in the stomach, bleeding heavily and losing himself. He fell down beside him and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Shaun don’t die. Please.. I need you” Sebastian whimpered as two police officers entered the house, guns drawn. Adam was lying on the stairs with his hands at his head, the knife and phone still in his hands.

“We need an ambulance immediately, that is now!!” screamed the officer into her walkie-talkie.

.x.

Cadee awoke to find a police officer talking with Paul and a sad face on his face. She was in a white room. She presumed something bad had happened to someone because Paul was crying, a lot. She had never seen him crying. Sarina was lucky, and able to come in the room. She stroked Cadee’s head and frowned.

“Shaun’s in a bad state cadee..” she mumbled, cadee automatically crying.

“Where’s Sebastian? Adam.. I want to see Shaun” cadee screamed, getting the attention of her father and the officer.

“Before you can see Shaun you must speak with me” the officer spoke sympathetically.

“Please” Paul spoke through tears. “Let her see him first” cadee was unaware of what was going on, and didn’t like it. When she was lead to a room a few corridors down she saw Sebastian and Adam sitting in a waiting room, Adam was covered in blood and Sebastian was just curled into a ball on the seat.

“Cadee?” Adam asked. He ran over to her and held her tightly. He hadn’t been aloud to see her at the house, and not when they got here.

“Where’s Shaun?” she questioned. He took her by the hand and led her to the doorway of a room. She automatically began crying when she saw the number of machines hooked up to him. Her heart skipped a beat to see his smile, and those eyes with a glimmer of happiness in them. She ran over and held him, causing him to wither away from her.

“Hey..” he managed before Adam smiled.

“What happened? Why are you hurt and not..”

“He got Shaun on the way out” Adam sighed cutting cadee off. “I think we should tell Sebastian..” he said as he poked the ball of flesh which was Sebastian. He looked up to see Adam smiling.

“What?” was all he managed as he stood up and saw that smile. He ran in and kissed Shaun, not parting until the doctor came in and coughed loudly.

“Nobody was to be in this room without me knowing” he said sternly. Sebastian just kept looking into Shaun’s eyes.

“I was so scared” he said through tears. Shaun smiled and placed a hand on his cheek as Sebastian’s parent’s appeared at the doorway. They didn’t say anything as Shaun and Sebastian kissed, then looking over at the doorway Sebastian stopped.

“What is going on?” his mother finally said, scared of what she saw.

“Don’t bother dear” his father said. “Were leaving Sebastian” he said sternly before turning. Sebastian ran to the door.

“Why?” he screamed. “Why can’t you accept me?!?” they were leaving him. They couldn’t care less that he could be dead. They couldn’t care that he needed them. They had left.

Chapter nine.

When Shaun was finally allowed out of hospital Sebastian was happy, yet sad at the fact that he may never see him again. Social workers had been talking to him nonstop and he wasn’t in the mood. He would just sit there, stare at his phone and cry.

“Look, I’ll adopt him” Paul suggested.

“We can’t let you. There’s plenty of other relatives..”

“No there’s not!” Sebastian screamed. “The only person I want to be with is Shaun! I’m an adult I can make my own decisions. I’m not 12! I’m 18..” he trailed off. Shaun stared at him from the doorway of his hospital room.

“He has you there” Shaun spoke with a smile. “He’s eighteen, he has the right to do what he wants”

“His father requested..”

“His father has nothing to do with it anymore” Paul said sternly to the social worker. “it has been settled”

“Leave” Sebastian said as Adam, cadee and Sarina appeared in the waiting room.

“Were going home..” Paul sighed as he put and arm around as many of the teens as possible. Cadee sighed and looked around.

“Where’s faith?”

“Oh shit!” Paul yelled as he began to frantically search her his daughter. When a nurse laughed and smiled at him Paul looked around.

“Come have a look” the nurse said politely. The family walked over and looked behind the desk to see faith curled up on the floor asleep. They began to laugh.

“See, we can find humour in all of this” Paul joked as the nurse handed a half awake faith to him.

.x.

Later that night when Shaun and Sebastian were lying in their room, Shaun looked over at seb who was staring at the ceiling.

“They don’t want me” he cried. “They don’t want me” he repeated. Shaun put an arm around him and kissed his cheek.

“But I do, and always will” he said with a smile. Sebastian smiled back and kissed Shaun. He was truly now in heaven. Adam and cadee appeared at the door way followed by Paul.

“Are we all feeling better now?”

“If you call being shot in the stomach better? Than fuck I feel fan-fucking-tastic” Shaun said sarcastically. Paul walked over and sat on the floor beside the bed. Cadee smiled, as there was a knock on the door. She went down stairs to answer it and was surprised.

“Sarina?”

“Shhh..” she said as she kissed cadee. “I got a bigger surprise”

“Christian?” cadee said as she jumped into his arms.

“I told you I’d come see you” he said with a smile. Sebastian, Shaun, Paul and Adam all stood at the top of the stairs and smiled.

“It’s just another day in our lives” Paul laughed. Every one went onto the verandah and laughed into the night. It was truly an event to remember…

Author notes

Okay, so it's two years later... and BAM! cadee is with sarina and shaun is.. sorry to say it... GAY! buh buh buuuuhhh!!!

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • disturbed-dreamer
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I did not actually read far, but...

    The fact that you misspelled "Their" in the title made me click on this. You can NOT misspell the title, because it does look bad.

    Many, many grammar errors. (Then again, I did not read past the twentieth line. There could be loads more.)

    Do not forget to add periods to the end of quotes. For instance '“It’s just another day in our lives” Paul laughed.' There should be a period after lives. You failed to place periods in quotes several times. Moving on, you should know for future writing purposes that numbers under 100 should be spelled out. In the author's note you spelled out two, why not in the first line?

    Always capitalize names. Were you just too lazy to capitalize Cadee in a few places? (Not to mention names like "Faith" and etc.) In one spot, you put aloud when you really should have said "allowed."

    Otherwise, the story was long and too pink. I guess you were going for a soap opera type story, but you crashed and burned. Also, I do not understand how you got such positive feedback by a select few people. Whatever they are on, please share. Just do not share any more of these type of wonderful stories.

    Advice: Use Microsoft Word. It has spell-check and it checks for grammar.

    beginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.


  • Asonine
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have too agree with Misi... dude... or didett, either one, It almost made me puke it sucked so bad....

    • CazzieJade
      May 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Tbh,
      Youre opinion doesn't matter to me.

      Mainly because I like critiques from people who can spell, and who don't say "it sucked so bad"

      Learn how to type, spell, critque and speak english, and I'll listen. =]

      • Asonine
        May 8, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        all I spelled wrong was dudett... I was using plane English buddy... it just realy did suck, I can't critique something that is not htat good, sorry.

        • CazzieJade
          May 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          "all I spelled wrong was dudett... I was using plane English buddy... it just realy did suck, I can't critique something that is not htat good, sorry. "

          "plane" should be plain.
          "realy" should be really.
          "htat" should be that.

          Dudette cannot be spelled anyways, because it's not a real word.
          Maybe you might not think this story is good, but alot of other people find it great.

          Sorry if you were disapointed, but i'm not here to please someone like you.


  • TommyTRASH
    April 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    haha
    my comments before made me laugh
    XD


  • Missi
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    title is spelt wrong its spelt like 'their'

    really long but honestly i did not enjoy it


  • Leech
    January 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ^__^


  • Ads Angel
    July 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was really good cant wait to read more.

    beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • Tera Baby
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    great!

    i loved it!


  • SwallowedByDarkness
    April 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Not bad, not bad, Ok that was good. I liked. I never wanted to end. I like how you put the chacters together. It was funny and a little scary when Shaun got shot. I like the drama and how the siblings make fun of each other. I want to read more storied like this one, so keep it up. Good luck on the next story. Until then, seeya.

  • rain-cloud
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i loved it! i didn't no there was one before that so i got a bit lost at some points... but there was definitly enough there for me to pick it up. I'll have to get round to reading the one before I loved every second of it which was suprising cos i normally don't like reading long stories on the internet, i get bored quite quickly. but i am very very glad that i didn't notice the length of this one now... thank you for writing this, its awesome!!!


  • kenddrraaa
    March 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    its deep


  • tjj
    February 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    I love it the suspence the romance and the way it all goes together

  • autumns rising
    January 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    NOOOOO

    My god! I've lost my dream gay, he cant be gay, thats so unfair. All good men are either gay or taken.


  • My-Name-Is-Nobody
    January 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Love it.

    Oh my gosh, I love this story, it's awesome. You may think it strange that I'm a straight girl and am infatuated with gay guys. Sorry, but i love reading Shonen-ai comics. I wish my parents weren't so annoyed with me reading about gay guys.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • TommyTRASH
    January 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe, Im adding another comment cos of your chapter additions!

    YAYNESS!!!!! HE'S DEAD, LALALALA. It all turned out ok in the end a true happy ending to a modern tale....yay. (Even though Seb lost his 'rents, but in a way thats good) You've written an Aba Fab story here Caz! well done. I really enjoyed reading this! YOU WRITE KICK ASS STORIES!

    Tommy xo

    • CazzieJade
      January 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yep. He's dead. There's going to be another sequel, don't worry.

  • TommyTRASH
    January 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    YAYNESS!! SHAUN'S GAY! *dances around happily!* lalala, loved the chapter...they like to sit around in their underware alot! hehe. Hanky Panky?? Who says that anymore, lol.

    I envy Shaun, his dad is so cool with him being gay. I wish my mother didn't care that I was Bi...it's hard hiding it.

    You've written alot of funny lines in here. Humor and drama all wrapped into one! I love it!

    HURRY UP AND WRITE MORE!

    Tommy xo

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