"I'm not going to school. At least not when it's snowing this horribly," I complained to my mom. She always says that it doesn't matter how much snow there is, I still have to go. We are supposed to have school tomorrow, but there's supposed to be a horrible blizzard. I knew there had to be some way to get out of school. The only thing left for me to do was wish upon a star
"Star light, star bright first start I see tonight. I wish I may I wish I might. Have the wish I wish tonight," I said before I made my wish. I only had one wish tonight, which was strange, because I usually have a billion wishes. The only thing I wanted today was for school to be cancelled tommorrow.
I don't have a problem with school, it's just ever since Keleigh came to our school, I've hated it. She bullies anybody she can get her hands on. She's not a normal bully, she acts and dresses as if she's a teacher's pet. Whenever a teacher comes by, she is a sweet and innocent girl. When the teacher leaves, she becomes a bully. That's the main reason I wish we don't have school tommorrow.
I lay in my bed wondering what school would be like tommorrow. I could just see it. Keliegh bullying everybody with a snowball. Throwing it as hard as she could in the face of many people. She wouldn't care if it hurt another person's feelings. When a teacher would ask her if she did it she would just say, "I didn't do it. Do you think I'd ever lie to you or hurt another student?" The teacher would then let her go, with nobody else to believe for the incident.
I finally got to sleep, after worrying for all those hours. When I woke up, I felt extremely tired. It felt somehow later than usual. I went straight to my mom's room to take a bath, like I usually do. When I entered the room my mom asked me what I was doing. I told her I was taking a bath. She said that school was cancelled, so I could go back to sleep. I couldn't believe it! My wish had come true.
I went back to sleep, then woke up later to a phone call. It was one of my friends, I think. She told me to go outside and play with her. I went outside, but the person I saw wasn't my friend. In fact, it was Keleigh, my worst enemy. She had prank called me, just so she could bully me. As soon as I saw her, I started running. Unfortunately, she was already starting to attack me, and it hurt really bad.
I finally got inside, and my mom asked if something was wrong. I told her all about Keleigh. She told me to face my fears, but I didn't think that'd work.I never went outside that snow day. I was too afraid that Keleigh would find me and hurt me more. When my mom asked me to go outside and play, and just said, then the bully will get me. I felt like I was gonna cry when I said that. It made me feel so uncomfortable to tell my mother that.
Before I went to bed my mother talked to me, as usual. She asked if I enjoyed my snow day, but I said no. I told her that the previous night I had wished for it to happen. She told me that I could learn an important lesson from this. That lesson is: be careful what you wish for. I never wished upon a star at night again, because I was too afraid of what could happen.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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disqualified and removed.
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This was told quite well, and from the point of view of a young girl, not an adult. Only when you reached the last paragraph did the "adult" really show, letting me know an adult was looking back at the past. Well done.


beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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a nice story but it doesn't fit the contest requirements.
I'm going to have to ask you to ewither read the contest and change it to fit, or remove it please. -
Proves a Point
There are bullies in schools which can affect
other children badly.
This is more an incident rather than a story.
Try and put a little bit more suspense into
your work - the reader again, the reader is
the one we are serving. We all tend to think of ourselves and our own feelings when we write.
Be careful to choose different adjectives and not repeat words, such as 'horrible', 'school ronorrow'. A variety of words colours the story.
Keep going. Give my love to our dolphin friends.
Cheers.
Margaretinoz.
beginning: 3, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 3, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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wow.
this was kinda scary, because usually what you wish for never comes true, unless it's good. but this is really good overall.
1 - 5 of 5


