I was swimming in the ocean, as usual, with my group. Then I saw something bright in the deep distance. I jumped up in the air to get a quick breath, then swam towards it. I took my best friend, Daisy along with me, so I wouldn't be alone if danger came along. As I came closer, it looked more like a sun or a bright shell. I sawm right through it, and you'll never gues what I saw.
It was like it took me to another universe. There were other dolphins, but they all looked different then my group. They had a stripe along their back. I started losing a lot of air, so I swam up and took a breath. What I saw wasn't the usual ocean and clouds. I saw a beautiful waterfall and a beautiful environment. There were also some strange animals. There was a horse with a horn, and a large lizard with wings.
I immediately told my friend, who was probably going to take an air break soon, too. She saw it and was amazed, but I wasn't listening to her about it, because something else caught my eye. The ocean was filled with my favorite fish, and the ocean looked just as beautiful as the land around it did. I went around, and tried to talk to the other dolphins. They were quite friendly, luckily they told us where we were. We were in the sea of the dolphins. It was a place created by god just for dolphins, but most dolphins didn't know about it.
The other dolphins told me that the horse with a horn was called a unicorn, and they usually stay for one month of the year, then leave. The large lizard with wings was a dragon, and we were told not to go near them. They blew fire and were evil creatures. They stay for a little bit longer then the unicorns, but not much.1
My next breath seemed even more beautiful then the last. I realized it had gotten late, so I was wanting to go home, but I couldn't find my hole. I asked the other dolphins what had happened, they told me once I was here, I couldn't go back. There was two ways in, but no ways out. I was trapped in here forever. I liked it, but I would miss my old pals greatly. I would just have to make new ones while I was here.2
Meanwhile, in my old place, my group was wondering where I had gone. Then, my other friend, Sparkle, told them we had gone to a bright hole deeper down. They went and explored it. What a surprise! They came to the same place I did, and we were now a happy family. Sadly, we were faced with another problem. The dragons started attacking us.3
I asked my new friends what to do, they told me to just stay still, until I needed to breathe. The dragons would stop in about an hour. I stayed still, but then I had to breathe. I watched a couple other dolphins breathe, and I thought I was ready. I stuck my blowhole up, and took a quick breath, then I swam back down and stayed still. 4
An hour later, they stopped. We were all safe, finally, and everybody was ready to go home. When they discovered we couldn't, they took it rather well. They didn't care where they were, as long as they were with their buddies and family. Even though they just had one of the most terrifying experiences in their lives, they still thought it was beautiful. They were positive that they were going to stay there.5
It has been 1 month, and everybody is doing great. The other dolphins have become great friends with us. My favorite is Star, a young girl dolphin who dreams of many adventures. I told her that I have already had all my adventure for the rest of my life.6
Author notes
I didn't have a lot of time, so I didn't mention the main dolphin's name. Her name is Aqua, because that is my favorite name for dolphins. PS, I wrote this story because I love dolphins and adventures.
A contest entry
- ALL ABOUT DOLPHINS, DOGS, AND OTHER ANIMALS! by AlohaDolphinLover.
175 points, ended February 26, 2007, 5 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I love dolphins
I love dolphins. This story is good. The last time I tried to write a story about a dolphin, it never came out right. You should write another story on dolphins.beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
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The story is great! Hey, nothing "evil" about dragons, they can't help their breath is fire. Maybe "two ways in but no way out," and possibly making longer sentences at times. My opinion but I read some of it out loud which is what I do with some of my own stuff.
At the end you shift into use of the number 1 instead of the word "one." Publishers don't really like this as I was told in a pink slip. lol
Looking forward to reading more of your stories.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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hey it was good but i love dragons, and hey they are not mean and evil they are just missed understood but even after being mean to one of my favorite animale lol it was a good story
beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Cute Story!
I enjoyed reading it! It was decriptive enough so I could picture the dolphin world in my head. That's the flaw with my sories. Somethings I'm not descriptive enough.
The only flaw in this story was that you spelled a few things wrong. I'm sure you already know this, but make sure you change it.
It's another great story I can tell to me nieces. They're going to love it just like I did!
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Nice story. it seems like it is a really happy story but then the dragon attacks them and it turns scary and then it's happy again. Well done on a god story.
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I LOVE THIS STORY. IT IS THE BEST STORY I'VE EVER READ. YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A GREAT AUTHOR! JK! I WROTE THIS STORY.
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A very atmospheric story
(I already wrote my review, then Ebay cut in and cut me off!)
A DOLPHIN'S JOURNEY by Aloha
I always enjoy anything about dolphins.
"A Dolphin's Journey" is a very creative little story.
The author tells it from the dolphin, Aqua's, point of view. In fact the author acts the part of the dolphin.
Aqua and her friend find themselves in a special place for dolphins - as Aqua says God created a place just for dolphins.
The sense of danger, when the evil dragon arrives, creates suspense, which gives the story strength.
Although there is no dialogue, naturally, there is a strong sense of communication amongst the dolphins, one pod telling Aqua and friend about how their world is.
The story is , of course, a delightful fantasy, but there is a sense of reality, which makes the reader wonder is it is perhaps real.
Keep writing. You seem to write from the heart about things which you really care about. Watch the grammar when you edit. I think we should always edit what we've written.
Thanks for the read.
Margaretinoz
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 1, characters: 4.
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A great journey.
Fantastic adventure. Better than SpongeBob Squarepants. And I do not even know how to swim. -
Good Job
Hey! I know I already commented on you, but I clicked Return the Favor, aswell, and it took me to this page, again. Well, I can tell you again that this story is great. It is the best story about dolphins that you have written on story write. Your beginning was very effective, and drew me in to keep reading about it. The middle was good, too, because I loved the adventure that was taking place. The end was a great summary of the story, and again I like Star. She is a good character.
Oh, did you just write those author notes? I did not see them before. Thanks for telling me that the main dolphin's name is Aqua. I kind of figured it anyway, though, because you always use that name.
I think that this story also has a positive impact on the community. It could not have any more positive impact if it were five pages longer. It had a good impact on me, and encouraged me to go and read all of your stories again, even though I have already read them. I think you are a good writer. Good job on this story, and good luck with all of the stories that you write in the future.
Once again, you did a good job on this story, and do a good job being my best friend. I wish you good luck for the future, and tell you good job for the past.
Your friend, and captivated reader
alohanewmexico13 (AKA: caraline)
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AWESOMELY AWESOME!
This was a great story. Even if I did not know it was your story, i would still think it was good. Speaking of the author, you are a good author. I love your writing style. I knew eventually you would write a story about dolphins on storywrite. The beginning was great. I flowed well through the entire story. It is a great adventure. The ending is good. I like how she makes friend with all of those dolphins, and meets Star. Star sounds like a cool dolphin. Once again, this was an awesomely awesome story, written by an awesomely awesome author, who is also an awesomely awesome best friend.
Your friend and captivated reader,
alohanewmexico13(AKA: Cari)
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