Dee-Dra's return (part 1)

Dona sharply sat up in her bed as she finally woke up. She was breathing harder than ever, Sweat pouring down her body. Confused and frantic, she looked around room her eyes uncertainly roaming the place. The light coloured walls the beeping sound coming from the monitor, the spotted clinical outfit she was wearing. She was in a hospital. Suddenly she recalled the sound of the gunshot again. Breathing hard, she slowly traced her way to her head. With her hands shaking tremendously as they roamed her scalp. Then she found it, the scar left by the bullet. It was slightly above her left ear lobe...

She stared in confusion as she recalled the dream she just had.... the rapes by her step-father and step-brother, the brutal beatings given to her by her junkie mother, the death of her best friend and her Father the two people in the world she ever truly had .The screams from each horrific moment she ever had. Every one of them. And then she remembered Drake.... suddenly the sound of a gun shot...she faintly recalled the bullet reaching her head but she would never forget the one who pulled the trigger...

"B-but how...”. The confused Dona said to herself.

Just then, a short plump looking nurse walked into the room her hair held in a tight neat bun. The nurse's eyes widened at the sight of Dona sitting up in the bed. "Oh my " the nurse gasped and with that, she was out of the room again. As if Dona wasn't confused enough as it was. She just sat there completely disturbed.

A few minutes later, the nurse was back in but this time she had a tall male Doctor with her. "Good morning Miss Demoray" The doctor smiled, "I'm Doctor Fields, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine! " Snapped a confused and impatient Dona "what the hell's going on?, how did i get here?, what happened?, how did-"

"Just calm down Miss Demoray" The Doctor hushed Dona. Dona's eyes widened in undeniable anger, "Clam down!?, you telling me to-" She broke off into a frustrated laugh, "f**k!" she sighed to her self as she buried her head in her hands and brought it back up again. "Ok I’m calm. Now tell what the f**k's going on."

The doctor opened the file he had in his hand. "Well it says here Miss Demoray.. that you survived a gun shot in the head...but it led you into a coma for about.......ten years"

Dona just sat there, stunned and expressionless. "W-what?" She was finally able to say after a few seconds. Tears slowly welled up in her eyes.

"Now miss Demoray-"

"F**k it with the Miss Demoray!" Dona yelled loudly "My name is Dona!" she wailed. The nurse offered to comfort her a little but she pushed her away

"Now Dona, look on the bright side." The doctor did his best to sound as friendly as possible. "You are very lucky to be alive." Dona sat there sobbing. "I wanna go...i wanna get out of here."

"In due time Dona. We still have to run some tests and observe your-"

"No! .... You’re not listening to me. I’ve been in here long enough ..I just wanna go home!” Dona paused suddenly...as she slowly lowered her head a thoughtful expression on her face. "Home..." she whispered repeatedly to herself.

"In due time Miss Demoray." The doctor said, but Dona wasn’t listening she was already deep in thought, she didn’t even notice that he called her Miss Demoray again. Both the nurse and the Doctor left the room.

But Dona just sat there. "Home" She said to herself again as fresh tears slowly welled up in her eyes. Did she even have a home anymore? She could now remember clearly what had happened in the past.

It all started when she was thirteen. Dona’s parents had to separate. Her father had decided that he could no longer have a drug addict for a wife. So Dona had to stay with her Dad. It was only the wise thing to do since her junkie mother was now less than irresponsible.

Things went well for a while then when she almost turned fourteen she met Drake Celadoire. He was devilishly handsome. Especially when he had his thick jet black locks of hair falling over those blue eyes of his. He was so mature and incredibly devilish in a charming kind of way. . Dona met him at a nightclub party she attended with her best friend Mona.

You could say it was "love" at first sight. Drake loved the way the cute red haired stared at him with those big green eyes of hers. He loved the way some one who looked so innocent had so many attitudes in her and was so spontaneous and naughty. He immediately liked Dona. The more she resisted the more he got attracted to her. Then the two hit it off and then they started going out. Drake was two years older than her and came from a very powerful and rich family.

Then something terrible happened, when Dona was almost turning fifteen, her father was murdered, which meant that she had to go back to live with her mom. Only to find out that her mom had re-married to some junkie guy who had brought in his twenty year-old son. Drake had to leave town for a while this made her devastated and if things weren’t bad enough, both her mother’s new junkie husband and his son raped Dona.

Then Mona, Dona's best friend died. Luckily for her Drake had come back to town, she just couldn’t take it anymore...at the age of fifteen and a half she ran off to live with Drake. They both leaved like hopelessly in love birds and just when Dona started to think everything was perfect, the pieces finally fell into place. It was Drake and his boys who had killed both her father and her best friend.

Dona was so crushed and so angry, she couldn’t live with Drake anymore she ran away from him. And for three days she wandered the streets of Chicago.

To cut a long story short, she caught the attention of a Japanese sensei named Pai Wong. Despite her rude and hostile nature, the Sensei saw something else in her. So he decided to take her in and make her his personal student along with some other white haired boy a year older than her.

Dona usually teased this boy and called him a freak because of how white his neck-length hair was. As for her rudeness to Pai Wong, that didn’t last very long after Dona discovered the sensei's ways of disciplining his students. She never again opened her mouth to utter one rude remark...at least just to Pai Wong. She still teased the white haired boy. She couldn’t really remember his name right now...Kenny or something...

This was first true home Dona had after the death of her father. Pai Wong did a good job in teaching her how to defend her herself...she was an expert in martial arts and incredible with Japanese steel...as for guns...a friend of Pai Wong taught her how to use those.

At the age of eighteen, Dona had been there for three years. She was now ready and fully at the top of her game. Until one day when she was caught totally off her guard. Drake and his boys broke into Pai Wong’s home. They did their best to defend them selves but they were out numbered Drakes boys were too many. In a while, after a lot of blood of spilt. Dona was finally tied up in a chair. Pai Wong tied up in one next to her a tape over her mouth.

Drake walked towards her. He had slightly changed, she could see the darkness and how grave Drake’s blue eyes looked.

"I loved you I gave you everything." He looked at her slowly shaking his head. Those bright blue eyes that were once filled with love and compassion were now burning with anger. "But you ungrateful *bunny*! You spat it all in my face you ran away from me!" Dona just looked up at him. hot angry tears falling down her eyes the tape still over her mouth. He reached down and grabbed her red back length hair. "Did you really think I wouldn’t track you down?!". the he laughed gravely. "Cuz if you did you're utterly stupid" . "You throw away everything i gave you for this old fool!" and with that, he shot Pai wong right in the fore head. Dona let out a scream through the tape over her mouth..tears rushed down her cheeks. "You hurt me Dona and now I’m going to hurt you.." . Dona sees Drake pointing to gun towards her head. He shoots her. Everything stars fading her vision starts blurring and before everything goes black, the last thing Dona sees is a Drake’s boy brutally beating the white haired boy and then its total darkness.

Dona was brought back to reality. At present, she was just sitting there in her bed her hand roaming the scar on her scalp as she just starred blankly into space. Then she was suddenly distracted as the door opened again. The plump nurse was back in. This time with a tray in her hand.

"Hello miss" She said with a friendly smile. "Here's your medication and i brought you a little something to eat."

"I'm not hungry" Dona said dully.

"Oh come on now, you've been as sleep for a very long time. You need a little something solid." The nurse set the tray for Dona. "Then you can be out of here in no time." The nurse looked up at her and smiled.

Dona slowly turned towards the nurse. Seriousness written in her eyes. "I will be out of here in no time."

"That's the spirit." Said the innocent nurse who didn't even take the hint," Now eat up ,And I’ll be back in a few minutes with your shot." The nurse left the room. Immediately, Dona pushed the tray aside. She got out of the bed and then landed on the floor in a slight crash.

She tried to get up but she couldn't. She tried to move her legs but she couldn't. What was going on? Of course! Dona swore to her self. She'd been in a come for ten years. Her legs hadn't moved in ten years. Uncontrollably swearing to herself, she made her way back on the bed using her hands to support her. It wasn't easy.

Dona sat there in bed with the tray on her lap part of the food had been spilt on the floor. She just sat there fiddling with what was left on her plate and just blank stare on her face. No tears. Just shear frustration. She knew she had to get out of here. She really wanted to. But apparently, there was no way.

Just then the nurse walked back into the room. "Hi" she said. Dona smiled flatly in reply.

"Are you ok dear? i heard some noise come from this... oh my!"

The nurse stopped right in her tracks as soon as she sighted the food and part of the medication on the floor.

Dona looked up. "Oh that..." Dona's mind raced, what to say. What to say.. "Um I had to use the bathroom but-"

"Oh you poor dear!" the nurse she swiftly walked over to Dona. "Its my fault I should have told you." She helped to adjust Dona's pillow and cleared up the food on the floor. "You’ve been asleep for a while. Now. It’ll take sometime before you're able to regain some feeling in your legs."

"Yeah i know that now." Dona said rubbing the arm, which she fell on. "Hey how long do you think it'll take before I’m able to walk again?"

"In two or three weeks dear.... you can never really tell exactly." she turned to Dona and smiled. "But you seem like a very strong girl...I’m sure it won't take long for you".

"Plus.." The nurse added as she headed towards the door. "We'll be giving you medication to help speed things up. In fact.. You’ll be having you first check up in the examination room this evening...I’ll be back with some medication to help you get some sleep." And she was out the door...only to return a few seconds later. "Um I thought I brought a sleeping shot here earlier." She gave Dona a puzzled look. "It’s supposed to knock you right off to sleep."

Dona spotted the syringe from the corner of her eye laying in a concealed part of the room. "Um no. No." She stammered," I don't think you brought anything in here but food."

"Oh ok...one has so many patients you can barely keep track." The nurse smiled. "Well ok then see you later."

Dona's mind raced. Think fast.. think fast. She said to herself. With the utmost pain, she reached for the syringe on the floor, carefully lifting up and hiding it behind her pillow. She had a plan...she always did...

(to be continued)

A contest entry

does anything sound awkward is it a good story?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Jasmine Duckie
    May 29, 2007

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    The story was pretty good, but i did notice some spelling and punctuation misses... but you can work on it, also.. ten years is a little much, but i thought it was a very good story, the way you explained everything.


  • Vietbabe909
    April 10, 2007

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    interesting...

    well, there is a lot of grammar problems and misspells. all of the dialogue should be spaced out from eachother so it can flow better. some parts are confusing. overall, it was okay to me. thanks for entering my contest


  • Pray For Me
    March 9, 2007
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    Thanks for entering my contest

    This was a very good submission. I liked the story a lot and I wish you luck in the contest.


  • Jennywinnie
    March 6, 2007

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    God characterization! Here are just some things that I knoticed:

    I think the beginning would be good if you started it out with the second paragraph, it brings us into the right here right now, and then gradually explain all of those other bad things that she been through as being the reason why she was breathing hard. Maybe you could then explain her dream or something, but don't pack all of the drama on too soon- it's just a bit much and feels like over kill. Start with something tense to catch our attention and then ease us into the bizzare so that we more easily suspend our disbelief. Other than than I like the colorful characters you've brought to life here. Good Luck in the Contest

1 - 6 of 6