Why did this end this way

As kate sat bye her window thinking when was the yelling ever going to stop.Why did my dad always have to drink and yell at my mom I hate him''Kate said.''

As she got up and opened the door she saw her mom laying on the floor bleeding.All my god mom are you okay kate said' with fright in her voice.Yes I am fine go back to your room wendy said.' No mom he can not do this any more to you.

I'm going to take care of him.No kate wendy said.'I will deal with your father just go to your room.No kate said'As she ran past her mother down the stairs she came face to face with jim.

Jim I cant take you beating my mother any more you son of a bitch.kate said.'' I'm going to take care of this now.

All ya jim said.''

What are you going to do about it you little whore.

I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago I'm going to kill you kate said.''

Bring it bitch I hate you any ways after I'm done with you I will take care of your mother.

Jim you have done nothing but caused me so much hell me and mom I hate you for that.

As jim started coming tored her she started running around to the the down stairs bathroom.

She locked her self in there what felt like hours.
You can stay in their is long as you want but when you come out I will be waiting for you sweetie.

As she sat in there wondering if he was going to go after her mother what am I going to do Please god don't let him hurt her I love her she is my everything.

The bathroom was under the steps she heard him going up them this could be itmy chance to get thats son of a bitch.

As I opened the door going in to the hall way she saw nothing she ran in to the kitchen and grabed the bigest knife.

She ran up stairs just in time seeing him holding a gun to his mom's head.Don't move asshole drop the gun or else.

Or else what bitch.

I will kill you look what you did to her her foot is fucked up cause of you.

As he went to turn around I gave him no chance I stabed him he is dead now.

I went over to my mom and was shaking her wake up mom it's over mom come on get up.

When I moved my hand from her head she was bleeding all my god what the hell I lefted her head her neck was cut real bad.

That son of a bitch he did not use the gun he cut her I did no good it was to late.

I had nothing else to do but turn on my self I grabed the gun from under jim and I held it to my head.

all god please forgive mefor this.

""BANG""

A contest entry

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Comments


  • I Dare to Dream
    July 25, 2007
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    AAAAAAAAHHHH! Oh MY GOD! This is soooooooooo SAD!


  • travis34dietC
    February 24, 2007

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    it would be great if you added quotes to help separate the dialogue. other than that,i like the main idea of the story and the ending's great! good job!

  • Dinky Di
    January 25, 2007

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    This is great so far. All thats needed now is some details, and a bit of editing. I hope you add more to this story.


  • Mai4ever
    January 17, 2007

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    This is a nice start to things. However, I just wanted more details to it. There were some grammar errors and spellings mistakes but they were only minor. Your structure does need some work but most parts were okay. I think just taking more time and looking through the story would make this even better. You have a really good idea but it just needs some work. I really do hope you continue with us and I can't wait to read more of your stories/poems. You have great talent and I really like your writing style. Keep it up!