Ghost Of A Feeling
“I can’t get you out of my heart anymore. I can’t unlove you.”
“I lost you even before I found you.”
- quotes from Francisco Arcellana
The scarlet train seemed to give birth to young wizards and witches. Platform 9 ¾ was in a riot of colours. Her children were running out and about, in and out, around the place, going for their broomsticks, trunks, pets and friends. Alex Band had gone to be with Aaron Kamin. Lae Bevin and Sirius Black were continuously bickering; Misty was protesting in her cage, screeching and flapping her feathers off. Peter Pettigrew was gaping at James Potter who was fond of his new Snitch. Whether it was bought or nicked, the story was his to tell. Rhine Fresen joined her brother Yfel while Lily Evans showed Kyl Raeghelle a new Muggle magazine. Only two of them were not making noise. Only two of them were oblivious to the noise. As if they were encased in a time bubble as the world left them behind, though it seemed more that they left the world behind.
Remus swallowed. It was one of their first few times to be alone in the compartment.
As him and her.
As hunted and hunter.
As the lovers that were never were.
He waited, breath, bated, his whole being suspended before the kiss. Gyn’s lips curved out into her famous indulgent, inviting smile, her eyes crinkling, relaxed.
Remus sought her out, dared to lean in closer, changing the air, risked breaking the spell that seemed to hold Gyn this close to him. The most delicate of spells that would allow him to be let in the mysteries of Gyn’s lips and their rumoured pleasures.
He was an inch away from unravelling those mysteries when Gyn made her move: her hand snaked up to cradle the back of his head, in her Chaser’s hand like the Quaffle, in an intricate grip. She drew him closer to place her lips upon him.
Remus waited, breath, bated, his whole being suspended before the kiss. Gyn’s lips widened her smile to a grin, her eyes crinkling further to close. She leaned forward, upward to kiss him.
Heavy and light (he couldn’t decide), ambiguous and distinctly defined, blink-of-an-eye yet its ghost was long-lasting. A solitary kiss. Her lips were soft against him, the moment burned through him, burned diagonally between his formidable collarbone and his enticing Adam’s apple where upon him, her kiss she let fall.
Remus swallowed dreamlike, ethereal poison and wine, as if he could drink the ghost of the feeling of Gyn’s kiss.
The ghost of the feeling, at the very most and at the very least.
Gyn pulled back. Her eyes, debauched in the gentlest of ways but disappointment was wringing satisfaction’s neck at the bottom of her lucid pools. Insanity was climbing out of the well.
“See you next term.” A cheery smile through the tone, otherworldly.
Remus smiled back and nodded, resume breathing.
He wanted to kiss her. Too many moons he wanted to kiss her but his violent fantasies were drowned by his triumphant failure. At least he had a clue. Through that solitary kiss.
The scarlet train seemed to give birth to young wizards and witches. In a riot of colours, they would jump out of the mother ship and onto Platform 9 ¾.. Her children were running out and about, in and out, around the place bidding each other farewell and sharing handshakes, high fives and back claps to a good summer’s break.
Kyl wrapped an arm around each on Lae’s and Gyn’s shoulders as they followed Lily. Amidst Sirius, James and Peter’s frolicking, Remus was stock-still as to the same barrier, as to another summer, he lost her.
Author notes
Waiting for comments, feedback, some points to improve the piece and style.
***The characters and items familiar here belong to JKRowling. Other things belong to the author and associates.***
A contest entry
- FirstLove,FirstKiss by ohemeegeeay.
175 points, ended January 21, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Waiting for comments, feedback, some points to improve the piece and style.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Yes, it feels like an adult version of Harry Potter...change things up a bit but the writing is very good. Don't associate too much with the Potter series. I like the idea behind it. It intrigued me ....the two hunter and hunted..yet they love each other...now you can take that deep.
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Well done . . but . .
It is interesting as far as it went – but perhaps mirrored Harry Potter a bit too closely . .
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Thank you.
Do you think it would be interesting without the JKRowling bits? I've rewritten it without most of those parts.
And would you care to take a look?
Cheers, again.
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Very Well Done
Not knowing Harry Potter
I was a bit lost at the introduction of so many characters at once. The main characters and their kiss was very well done. "Insanity climbing out of the well." That's a very good line. The first (and next to last) paragraphs are very descriptive and full of imagery. Congratulations on the Gold. Well penned.
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thank you very much. you're quite generous. Do you think it would be interesting without the JKRowling bits? I've rewritten it without most of those parts.
And would you care to take a look?
Cheers, again.
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I am a huge fan of Harry Potter and company and this would fit in well with the next chapter of them all growing up.
I'd critisize if I could, but it's pretty fantastic as it is/.
That trophy at the bottom of the page attested to that! Congrats btw.
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Not a huge Harry Potter fan myself but this was very good. It flows along from moment to moment with style.
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Hi! I'm not a huge HP fan myself so thank you very much. Could you tell me about its weak points, strong angles, style, and any tips on giving a piece a title, please? I highly appreciate your words. Cheers again.
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This was really good, I liked the way you described everything, that was awesome. Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Noise&&Kisses -
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Thank you for the encouragement. I really wanted to enter this contest because of what is asked. I hope to hear from you about the piece, like what are its weak points, what needs tweaking, and which are the ones that make it good and your personal thoughts, too.
Thank you again.
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