The Beast

WARNING: Torture, NonCon follows. Don't know what that is? Message me.
~


You are beautiful.

You don't think to reply – after all, why would someone like you say anything to someone like me?

You're huddled beneath the trees in the dark, stray beams of moonlight making their way through the leaves and dappling your skin like the bruises that will be there in time. Your eyes are wide with what could be some unreasonable fear – your chest heaves under a thin white dress shirt and your breath turns into white mist on the cool night air and disappears. You are shuddering profusely, and I can only imagine the chill that has been sinking into your bones and flesh for the past half-hour.

Are you alright?

Of course, you are only cold. I am the only one who thought to bring a jacket. You were the one who had suggested we stay inside this evening; in fact, you even named the places we would go to.

This is our first time meeting. We have known each other through emails, chat rooms and instant messaging for so long… Now is both the first and the last time we will ever see each other face to face. Now is the last time I will ever drive with you through an overgrown forest road, and it is the last time you will ever witness me lock the keys in the car while we stretch our legs.

I'm sorry.

And no, It's not okay. I should have been more careful. Locking the keys in the car… I haven't done that since high-school!

I sit next to you, pulling you next to me and half-under my winter coat. I feel you shiver beside me and put your cold hands around my waist. You are comfortable with me touching you, like you already know who I am.

That's sad, isn't it... You don't know a thing about me.

Your lips are soft as I push my own to them – you don't resist. Instead, you lean further into my touch and open your mouth to me.

I pull back; look into your eyes for a second before kissing my way down your throat. I make my way to your collar bone and suck before pushing my teeth down hard enough to leave a mark.

I know it hurts. And no, I'm not sorry even if I said so.

I slip you past the tree that your leaning on and onto the forest floor.. You still don't resist me, but your eyes have that fear in them again, and this time I know why. It's the way I'm touching you. It's the way I've firmly placed my hands on either side of you so that you don't hurt, but you wouldn't be able to escape if I tried. It's the look in my eyes as I slowly unbutton your thin white dress shirt and slide it over your shoulders.

I rest my head on your chest, still cold from the brisk night air and not at all warmed by my hungry caress. I can hear your heartbeat, quickening as my fingers unbutton your pants and slide between the tight fabric and cool skin.

I can feel you getting nervous – I know your movement from many times before. I hear the gently uttered pleas that pass your lips; I see the beads of sweat that form on your forehead even though the evening is a cold one.

I smell your fear.

Now you are completely bare on the forest floor; I may do what I wish and I will not neglect to. This is my night and this is your last…

I bury myself deep inside of you and watch as your face spasms before you let out a groan. I watch tears leak from under your closed eyelids – you are trying to block out the pain… pain cannot be blocked. I know this and the switchblade in my pocket will make sure of this.

You are beautiful.

Beauty is not pure. Beauty is wild and random and emotion. Beauty is you underneath me, writhing and screaming yourself hoarse as I pound into you and blood runs over the smooth pale curve of your cheekbone. Beauty is the way contusions appear like magic over your skin; like wild black roses sprouting form a field of snow – breathtaking and awe inspiring and impossible…

Beauty is the fact that you cannot struggle any more. Beauty is the way that your eyes widen and your neck twists in my tightening hands. The way you gasp needily for breath and your pulse flutters like a caged bird…

You rest, silent in the moonlight; a broken angel forsaken by his lord and left unprotected and destroyed. I, the demon, take my spare set of keys from my discarded coat's pocket and open the drivers' door of my truck. I start the vehicle and continue my drive down the overgrown forest road.

I notice a spot of blood on my right wrist and bring my hand to my mouth.

~

~end

Author notes

A/N: Um… contest entry. Dark. Actually a prelude to 'Dark'.
Please comment - I want to know whether I freaked y'alls out or if people are actually okay with this.

^^;

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • tallblondie gold member
    April 14, 2008

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    Suitably dark, but unfortunately not disturbing. (I am a hard judge to please when it comes to disturbing). Good plot and characterisation. For the contest, I am looking pieces that step over that thin line of 'regular' - and for this genre, I expected slightly more than what your story delivered.

    Well-written, thought provoking and excellent use of atmosphere, just not exactly what I was looking for in this contest.

    Thank you for your entry.


  • sheatethewholeworld
    October 25, 2007

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    whoa, this is incredible. i love the internal monologue and that you managed to get so much into only 700 words. engaging and intriguing, this freaked me the fuck out but i loved it, i cant wait for more! thats so much for entering.


  • Drakenwrite
    June 6, 2007

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    Intriguing

    I do like the way it flows and how you've used the first person narritive style to describe whats going on. Using the internal Monolouge can be difficult, but you've done an admirable job of it. Good work.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


  • jenni-veev
    March 18, 2007

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    This is....well this is quite bone chilling. You have a way with discription, definitely painted some clear pictures in my mind...again...very chilling...
    good job
    -Jenni-veev


  • asthray.heart
    March 18, 2007

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    Waz good, chiilingly good
    Tad on the side of creeps and shivers.
    Excellent description.

    Lady Madeline.


  • mooseyx3
    March 16, 2007

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    This is very nice. I like how you don't give the genders of the characters. I first assume the narrator to be a male and the coresponding character to be a female. Then the other character is noted whereing a thin, white, button down dress shirt which I assume as being a male trait, thus changing the narrator to a female out of the natural schema of male/female relations. I thought that as an interesting take; the female being the agressor. However, then it refers to the narrator in "I bury myself deep inside of you..." and "...I pound into you..." which again, makes me think the narrator is a male and making me wonder the gender of the other character. However, in this sentence:
    "You rest, silent in the moonlight; a broken angel forsaken by his lord and left unprotected and destroyed."
    The pronoun "his" refers back to the "broken angel" which is referring to "you." Thus, convincing me, both characters are males.

    Still, a very interesting take. Never thought much of male/male rape and murder.

    Very nice piece. It certainly made me think. Kudos.

    -Moose: OVER AND OUT


    • ThetaSigma
      March 17, 2007
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      Yay! I get kudos! and my... *counts fingers* third review on this story! Yeah... And I have two applause! Thank you, thank you, thank you very much - I've been wondering so much what people thought about this one, so... This helps more.

      and of course, reviews = author food.


  • Zaedyns Mommy
    March 16, 2007

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    I thought that it was beautiful, and exactly in the criteria range I was looking for, well done, and good luck in the contest. (969)---dont worry about these numbers.lol.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 27, 2007

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    It's creepy and disturbing someone can be like this, but same again I have heard similar stories to this and people are like this and I'm only glad I have not been victim to these disgusting people. Great description.


    • ThetaSigma
      January 28, 2007
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      'tis my first comment. Well, on *this* story, anywho. mwah.
      Thankies, my friend. I am indebted. I will repay you somehow!

1 - 10 of 10