“What will happen,” we all ask,
When we stray from the light?
When the heavens turn their backs on us?
What will happen when there’s nothing left?
When demons rule our world?
When angels fall to the ground dead?
When earth and Hell combine and become one?
When heaven disappears?
Some people ask why, why do people stray from the light?
Why do they turn their backs on God?
Was it them who made the world the way it is, or the way it will be?
When we stray from the light, bad things will happen.
Horrible things will happen.
Worse than anything you could *ever* imagine.
A contest entry
- Stray from the Light by werner1221.
235 points, ended February 15, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - After the End by roars-in-public.
388 points, ended July 6, 2007, 32 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me you like it!
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Hmmm...I loved it! It really actually had me thinking. "What heppens when we stray from the light?"- that line will officially keep me thinking.
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Wow very thought provoking. It also inspired fear in me...I wonder those types of things often. This brought about all of my fears of the unknown...*shivers*. Anyway, great job!
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Hmm...I did like it. It made me stretch my mind and think. You know?
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I believe bad things happen when you stray away from the light, but I'm not sure if its really...like...God related you know? I think the light is something else, not neccessarily God. But hey, that's just me.
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Certainly different, I liked this =)
Good job. Makes the mind think about what's being asked here. What would happen? -
Lol this poem is very good, it made me think
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very good... it makes you think..... and its true... questioning for you, was this based on the book of revelations from the bible? or was this just something you wrote?
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Ohh, I love this!!!! I think I may have read this before, but forgot to comment, so here goes. xD
Awesome and dark, brilliantly worded, sweet flow.xD
There, done.
-HT
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Ahh.. poor little lovely angel bits. THat's sad.
I prefer to thinks of the fallen angels instead of like.. the completely deadified ones.
This is a lot of fear mongering. It's well writting.. but it's also.. fear mongering. Ah well..
Tomatoe- Tomahto. -
very nice I like this I like the flow and I like the depth
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a nice read which will make many ponder I am sure, I do not think angels will turn their backs upon any of us it is us that will do all the turning.
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Wow this is a very personal thing. And very strongly worded. It is a good piece and it provokes a lot of argument and thought about such a thing. Its very common these days to see people turn away from God..but I think that it takes more strength to go to him while watching all this happen. I believe in God. And I respect that you may not everyone is entitled to their own faith and opinions. Good write.
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I dont know if i beleive in god or whatever , but your short poem type story did provoke my intentions about faith...
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congrats on the trophie and all but the whole turning your back on god did you ever think that maybe their just confused and that they are being pulled in so many directions that they just give up on religion and it's not that they don't beleive anymore it's just that they don't know what to beleive or who
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Well, if you are referring to "horrible" people (for eg. satanists) and such (Why do they turn their backs on God?) then I would think that perhaps it is not their fault. maybe I am interpreting this wrong...?
Anyway, a very interesting piece nonetheless and congrats on the gold trophy.
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I did actually enjoy reading it,and it is true.So many horrible things could happen if we strayed from the light.Congrats on the gold trophy
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Awesome! That is really deep! I liked ti. It was a lot about the end of the world type thing. Great poem!
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Awesome!
Everyone is asking the same thing what will happen when the light goes out... Good Job!
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Yhis is very true and an interesting idea. Good job.
*Frozen Angel* -
Nice
this reminded me of Stephen King's The Stand, im not sure why, but it did. The wording was great, and the sense of mystery surrounded it was really well done. A peice of litery gold
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Awesome loved the wording.. so witty and such.. the idea was very original and it was just a freat little piece over all
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excellent
i love stories that make me think. Yours did. I really enjoyed this as it is short but powerful. Thanks so much for this offering. Very nice.
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Very thought-provoking-
I enjoyed reading it, very much, and now my mind is a flurry of worries and questions and answers and what-not.
Very nice. (:
-S -
Whoa, these questions certainly are depressing. Now I'm wondering the answers to these questions though... not that I'm about to try and find out the answers. Anyways, keep it up!
~Kevan!~ -
I'm glad I don't ask those questions, if I did I'd probably be depressed.
I'm curious why you used "when" and not "if", these hardly seem like definite things, unless they're related to a belief that I don't know about. It's an interesting piece, what inspired it?
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Very good, i loved the questions!
Well done!
Em
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That was really good. I love how you used questions to give it a very poetic style. Great writing.
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I'll keep this simple and plain, "Very good!"
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soup, cruton, cruton, crunchy friends in a liquid broth
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Heavy!!!
I like the use of the words"stray from the l;ight". It gives an impression of the person not really meaning to walk away...like they just got caught up in it and weren't able to get away when they actually realized what was happening....Heavy...
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4.
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I love your poems! You have some of the best pre-apocalyptic type writing that I've ever read. You make me glad I clicked on this link. Please write more poems!
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you made this for my contest? gj. you made a really good piece. that makes you think. the last sentence was special. good job. on this i really liked it.
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Oooh I really liked this. Very good, made me think.
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