A Journey to the Next Universe (Chapter 1)

Dear Diary,

I'm new here, so I decided to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Jennifer Cribbet. I just moved to South Carolina, and the only way I'd go to school is if I got a diary. Thanks to school, I have a diary. I'll try to update you every day, but I might forget. By the way, I'm in the third grade.

------August 8

Dear Diary,

I met this really nice girl at school. Her name's Rachel McLinky. She just moved here too. Doesn't her last name sound familiar from somewhere? Well it does to me. My teacher has lived here for over 30 years! Sadly, she is just coming to teaching. It's strange, becuase she teaches like she's taught for 20 years. My teacher's name is Mrs. Lawrence. She is kinda weird. Her hair looks like the style from the sixties, and she dresses like she's from the fifties. Besides that, she doesn't look very old.She only teaches science and math. My reading teacher is very very old. She has almost white hair and dresses even worse. She pulls her skirt up to her belly button. To make it worse, she tucks in her shirt! Talk about nerdy. My music teacher looks like the youngest teacher in the school. She almost looks like she's still in college. I can see why they picked her to teach us, though. She has a beautiful voice.

-----August 9

Dear Diary,

Is it ok if I just start my blog for the day? Writing "Dear Diary," just takes too long. Anyways, we talked about the most interesting thing in school. This guy (I don't know who) wrote a book about "the next universe." The next universe is like a futuristic society. Me and Rachel want to visit it. I don't think we can, but Rachel feels strongly that we can. I'm still trying to figure out why "Mclinky" sounds so familiar. Did her dad invent something? Did her mom make it to television for something? What could it be?

-----August 10

Rachel thinks she knows a way to get us to the next universe. All I have to do is ask my mom if I can go out of town with Rachel for a couple days. Then, all I have to do is pack. I'm so excited, I just hope my mom allows me to go. Do you have any idea why McLinky sounds familiar. Did one of her parents make your cover? Are they famous artists? I need to know the answers, but I think it'd be rude to ask Rachel, so my curiosity lies within itself. If only there was someway to find out the truth. Wait! THE INTERNET! Gotta go search good bye.

------August 11

MY MOM SAID YES!!!! This is like a dream come true. I can't talk 2 much today, becuase I have to pack. After all, we're leaving tomorrow. I can't believe it I'm sooooooo excited. If only there was someway to fast forward time. (By the way, I didn't find anything on the internet. It was useless.)

------August 12

We're off to the next universe. Turns out Rachel knows this guy who has magical powers. He said a couple words and now we're in this time warp to "the next universe." I just hope we get there ok and in the right place. I'm going to call my family when we get there, so they know I'm ok. Maybe this long ride will make me remember why Rachel's last name sounds so familiar. Why can't I figure that out.

-------August 13

WOW! This place is fantastic! The cars are solar powered and can fly. The houses are solar powered and gigantic! We are off to the mall. The malls should be huge. I hear they have millions of knew fashions that won't come out 'till the future. I'm hoping to buy tons. I still can't figure out how Rachel's last name sounds familiar Maybe these futuristic computers will have something about Rachel. Hold on a sec. Let me check. Gosh, they have nothing. Why can't I find the truth???

------August 25

Yesterday went great, but now I have a problem. I'M BEING SUCKED BACK INTO THE WAY WE CAME! It's like somebody reversed our travels and made it so we forget everything. I don't want to lose my clothes. I'm also being faced with another problem. Rachel isn't here. I can't find her anywhere. She was with me at the mall. Then we were just going to a store. What was it called? Oh yeah! Wait, now I remember why Rachel's last name sounds familiarrrrrrr!That store has something to do with it.

About the Author

I started getting interested in writing, when I joined this website. I also enjoy reading. I was struck with this idea after a song. I thought I was going to do something with outer space, though. Instead, I started writing about another universe. Most of this book, though, is what I dream will happen. My favorite part is in chapter 2, but I don't want to spoil the surprise, so I won't tell you what it is.I will tell you one thing. Rachel may be a friend, but her father is like a hero. The truth lies within the second chapter. My favorite kind of book to read is fantasy. It always makes me wonder what will happen next. I never thought I had enough in me to write this, but I was inspired.

If you would like to hear what happens next, wait till chapter 2 comes out. It is even more exciting! Rachel might go back home. Maybe she'll just stay in the time warp. Maybe she'll go back to the next universe. Will she find Rachel? Why does her last name sound so familiar? The truth is told in chapter 2. If you want me to keep writing this story, give me a comment and tell me to (also, you can tell me what I need to improve on.) This story took me a long time to write and I think it was worth it. I'm trying to write a series of chapters. If it was a real story, I think this chapter would be way to long. I would probably divide this chapter in half, then I'd make even more chapters. Sorry, if you don't like reading long stories. If you do, I hope you liked this story.I appreciate you reading this story. And now I can say...

To be continued...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • sunnyset
    May 13, 2007
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    great!!

    This was a really nice read! write more like this; I think you are great at writing in "diary" form. Good luck in the future!! I liked everything....but the part where they get sucked to where they came from (it was sorta sudden) but otherwise, you are amazing!!

    penguinqueenie

  • Bap
    January 19, 2007

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    Good

    I like your story and think it was long and did enjoy writing it. I think you should take the end when you are talking to yourself out though.


  • JC Jimmy
    January 18, 2007
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    A very nice idea! Indeed, the diary form does add a new angle from which to tell a story, leaves a lot to the imagination . I like it and wanna know what the Mclinky name is all about!
    Dimensional travel. That would make me school days soooo much better. Ahhh...

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


  • Hinds
    January 14, 2007

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    the diary element does make it much more exciting and personal to the character, and even though the premise was shaky and the plot seemed somewhat unrealistic, i was compelled purely by interest to read on, and i am glad that i did.l this was a very unique read, not giving away to much information, while also giving us enough to care, maybe a bit more info a the beggining, and a bit less, 'i'll just check, oh no' you probably wouldnt be writing as you fell through a time warp...
    well done...

    Hinds...

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, characters: 4.


  • The Imagined
    January 14, 2007

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    How clever that you'd make it a series of entries, like an actual diary, instead of a single entry. It's unorthodox and original, and it makes for a very good read. You include a series of events, some of which foreshadow the others, like with how you and Rachel first read the book and find a desire to visit it, then you do. It's not totally believable, but it's imaginative. Very.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to the site. I remembered you from the Chatterbox. Heh.

  • mackenna34
    January 13, 2007
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    mackenna34

    this is such a good story!!! u r really talented! i can't wait to read the other chapters!


  • Rebel Rebel silver member
    January 13, 2007

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    Diary travel.

    We can now travel through the universe via your Diary entries. Cheaper than rocket fuel. Fantastic story.


  • Token Massacre silver member
    January 13, 2007

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    Well you had me up until the being sucked into another universe. I loved the way the story was flowing until then. I like the way you use the diary to keep the story going. it's well done. I'd say some of your paragraphs should be restructured but writing in a diary... I'm not sure if that exempts that or not.
    Great start.

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