A butterfly landed on my page. I picked it up gently.
'Hello,' I smiled at it. I put it in my hand. It walked around for a bit, then it flew away. I watched it.
'Rowan!' A voice called. I turned and saw Russell running towards me. I waved at him. He sat on the grass beside me. His golden locks of hair stuck to his face in the heat. His face was the face of a God. He had cheek bones and smooth tanned skin. He had bright green eyes. His lips and nose were perfectly sculptured. When he smiled it was like everything stopped and a sudden calm came over. I felt embaressed when I was around him, which was stupid since he was my best friend. 1 'You reading that book again?' he asked. I nodded, not looking at him, 'You okay?' he asked me, sensing my nervousness.2 'Yeah, I'm fine,' I told him quickly. 3 'Come on,' he stood up taking my arm. I followed him obediently. 4 We walked across the fields and to the woods. My feet were sore by the time we reached the river. Russell took off his shoes and socks and dipped his feet in. I sat on a stone and watched. I took off my pink trainers and socks, but I remained on the rock. I looked up through the trees. The sunshine tried to shine through but only beams got through the hundreds of leaves. I put my hand through one of the beams, feeling the warmth. I was only half aware of Russell watching me. 5 'The water's warm,' Russell told me. I smiled shyly at him and slide into the water. Russell took my arm guiding me to the grassy patch next to him. 6 'Rowan... Do you...,' Russell laughed,' Do you...love me?' he asked me. My heart stopped. He saw my face, 'I'm sorry, that was wrong of me,' he apologized. 7 'No, it's fine,' I told him. My heart still wasn't beating. I took a deep breath and then out. 8 'Do you?' Russell asked again.9 'Russell... I have to go,' I said quickly grabbing my shoes and socks, and running out of the woods. I heard Russell calling my name after me. I ignored him for the first time. I got to the fields and tripped. My feet were even more sore now because of all the twigs and stones. Never run bare foot in the woods. I could hardly breath, because I was out of breath and because of the question. I think I can be let off for crying. I put my hand over my tearful eyes. I felt strong arms going around my neck. They were gently. I felt something soft on my cheek. A kiss.10 'I'm sorry,' Russell whispered into my ear. I stopped crying. He sat next to me. He wiped away my tears with his hand. I didn't look at him. I couldn't look at him. He pulled me to him in a hug. I hesitated for a second then let him. He held me in his arms. I felt warm and safe. I felt him stroke my hair and kiss my head. I suddenly felt sleepy, but I didn't want to fall asleep in his arms, well I did...but not like this. I wasn't ready. I pushed him away, gently. 11 'I have to go,' I whispered. I kissed his cheek, maybe for a little longer than I meant to. Then I stood up and left him in the field. I was still in my bare feet. The pain shot through my feet with every step, getting worse, but I was beyond caring. 12 I came to the road on which my house was on. I walked into my house and straight up to my bedroom. I sat on my bed and thought about what had happened. I didn't cry. I felt stronger. I wondered if Russell was still in the field. It was getting darker now. I started to worry about him. Why? He was quite able to look after himself. I looked around my purple bedroom. I suddenly remembered that I had left my book at the river. 13 'Damn!' I mumbled. I went downstairs.14 'Rowan?' My mum asked. I looked at her, 'are you going out again?' she asked.15 'Yeah, I left my book outside. Shouldn't be too long,' I told her. She hesitated but then nodded. 16 'Be careful, it's getting dark,' she warned me. I nodded and went outside. It was now a lot colder. I made my way back to the woods. I got to the field. I looked around for Russell but he wasn't there. He must have gone home. I went into the woods to the river. It was almost pitch black now. Winter was near. I looked to where I left my book, but it was gone. I looked around, searching for it. Something moved to my left. I whirled around and saw nothing. A twig snapped to my right. I looked over my shoulder. I couldn't see anything. Someone grabbed my waist, pulling me off the ground. I screamed. 17 'Rowan! It's me! Rowan! Shut up!' Russell told me. 18 'Russell?' I whimpered.19 'Did you come back for me or the book?' he asked grinning, still holding me off the ground. I could see my book on a rock behind him. 20 'The book,' I told him. He put me down, but still held me close to him. I wasn't shy of him anymore. I smiled at him. 21 'You may not love me, Rowan, but I love you,' he told me. 22 'I've always loved you Russell,' I whispered. I looked into his green eyes, and he looked into my grey. He bent down to kiss me, but I ducked and got out of his grasp. 23 'Tease,' he smiled. 24 'Of course,' I said happily. He walked over to me, and took my hand. We walked back through the woods and across the fields. When we got to the road, I asked him something. 25 'Russell, why were you at the woods when I came back for my book?' 26 'Because I knew you had forgotten it and you would go back for it. I wanted to see you again,' he told me.27 'But you see me everyday,'28 'I know, it's what keeps me going, knowing I'll see you tomorrow,' he told me. My heart missed a beat. It was the most sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I pulled Russell to me and kissed him, on the lips. He returned it. I had never been so happy in my life, and I'll never forget that day... I opened my eyes and saw a butterfly fly past us. I pulled away from Russell and stared at it. 29 'Don't butterflies only come out during the day?' I asked him. 30 'Yeah, why?'31 'Never mind,' I smiled and walked the rest of the way home, with the person I love.32 33 34
A contest entry
- I'm bored, so anything. by Loonamist.
175 points, ended February 19, 2007, 43 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Love..is such sweet sorrow.. by Arcularis.
175 points, ended March 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Young Love by Melli.
151 points, ended March 27, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - To Our Darling Original Characters... by yumesandman.
500 points, ended April 2, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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NO! When i published this story on sw, it went wrong and something happened to the paragraghs... They like muddle up together and some of my new lines are on the same lines as others and im totally confused.
But i'd still give my story 5/5!!!beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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First, you need paragraphs. Badly. When the story is one big block of text, it's hard to read, which will dissuade readers. Also, remember that every time a new person speaks, you indent/start a new paragraph (I know sometimes if you indent, it doesn't show up). Dialog needs to be in double quotes (").
I felt the very beginning was rather weak; it didn't really catch my attention and pull me in. But I do think that this story has potential, so you should work on it.beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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First, you need paragraphs. Badly. When the story is one big block of text, it's hard to read, which will dissuade readers. Also, remember that every time a new person speaks, you indent/start a new paragraph (I know sometimes if you indent, it doesn't show up). Dialog needs to be in double quotes (").
I felt the very beginning was rather weak; it didn't really catch my attention and pull me in. But I do think that this story has potential, so you should work on it.beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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It's cute.
The writing is fairly awkward to read at some points, which gives the whole thing a very awkward tone. I would suggest reading it outloud- if there's anything in there you wouldn't say when you were speaking normally, it needs to be fixed. Also, it doesn't expand much on the characters. The reader has to really fish to figure out their personalities, and even then it's vague. Hard to relate to a character you don't understand.
Still, it was a nice read. I think you did a good job. ^_^ -
Good job.
Great story...I really enjoyed. -
This is different
Love is approached by me like two people that like doing stuff to people but in this story love is way different than what I think it is and I loved it great job
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a different way of approaching love. i enjoyed this!
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Thank you! Im really glad you enjoyed this and thank you for reading! If you like this story, you might like my Forest Angel stories. Anyway thanks for reading!
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SUH-WEET!!
It was so good and so romantic! *tear*
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks! I put my heart into this!
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I like this it was well written and kept a good readers att. thoughout keep it up
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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interesting. Good story but it seemed to perfect. I guess some people get lucky...Anyway needs more detail. Thanks anyway!
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Nice write ...uh just one question...Why don't girls ever fall for dark short guys with worts...the discription was to good to be true, or someone has their rose colored glasses on.
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who the hell would fall in love with some dark short dude with worts??? And the description was biased actually. It was what the character thought of him! It was how Rowan thought he looked! but aside from that...thanks for reading.
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The whole plot seems to grab me. I feel like your words are actuall spoken words that have great emotion and desire. I hope yoou write more like this!!
<3 HB1994
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wow, this is like the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me... thank you!
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Extremely good
WOW i love how ou used the butterfly to symbolize their over. I really like how 'Butterfly' ended but in the beginning maybe you should go into more desription of just how deep her feelings were for him and drop hints here and there that he likes her. You know what I mean?
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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yeh, ok um... more description, that i can do! thank you very much for reading!
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The Butterfly... I got the impression that you titled this as such because you liked love to a cocooned catterpillar(sp?) and the lovely enchanting creature that comes out of it afterwards.
Sometimes, there is a thin line separating platonic love and romantic love - to cross that imaginary border is a bit difficult, too, since one would always not know if things would work out or not. But then, that's why we have risks and stuff.
I like Russeland Rowan's walk through the forest; barefoot is the best way to actually FEEL nature
There are a few typos, but nothing quite major or unchangeable. Thank you for this story!
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Nice
I may be a guy, but I have enough guts to say that was nice...sickly sweet...but nice. ^_^. Now only If that wre to happen to me. Lol, my story's a bit different but this was nice.beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 1, dialog: 4, characters: 1.
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w00t!
Hello! It's Julie! Awesome story btw. It was so sweet!! :love:beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Hello Skittles! I'm gonna ask you to b ma friend on this ok so expect a message fae me ok? [nedish lol] dont forget to read ma other stories! love you monkey [randomish]
[x]Huntress[x]
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That was gr8. U r a good writer. Keep it up.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you! Im not that good at writing, my spelling is shocking and my mum tells me my grammer is too! [though i can blame that on being scottish!] thank you again!
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awww. that was sweet. what a cool ending. i loved this story. even though im a guy im into love stories. a girl and a guy who r best friends r bound to fall in love. thats how it is. me and jenn were best friends and i feel in love with her. thats just the way it is. you have a few relationships with other people and when that doesnt work you notice your best friend and you realize what you have been looking for has already been found. good story
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Yay! thank you for commenting! Thats probably the best story iv written lol
Your so right about the guy girl fall in love thing! hahah!
many thank you's!
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