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Yesterday we sang songs and played harps all day long and today isn't much different. Rumors of tomorrow's sameness were stabbing in and out of my piercing-less ears. I wandered out onto the citadel balcony because I knew that it'd be another two hours before the chorus line was finished in the scriptorium. 2
I planted myself upon the railing so I could dangle my legs off the edge. I pinched my eyes tight and tried to imagine a world somewhere far beyond my pampered toes and their golden sandals. I wanted to kick them off as hard as I could just to see how far my inhibitions would allow them to go. 3
Instead I just sat there. I let the weight of my conventional lifestyle slowly pull my legs taut. I would admit that the gold was beautiful to look at, but being bound to such beauty somehow stole away most of the excitement I once delighted in. 4
I finally shut my eyes completely and my mind raced through countless instances of fake memories and impossible maybes. It was the life I had wished for. It was the only way to experience just the littlest bit of frivolous fun while stuck in this dead-end world. “Do I settle for these substance-less notions because they are all I am entitled to?” I wondered. 5
A cold whisper of an idea began churning in my head but clattering footsteps approached and summoned me out of my trance. I blinked a few tears out of the corners of my eyes just before rubbing them away with shaking hands. 6
"Why are you crying?” called out a woman’s voice from behind me. 7
"I’m, uh… they’re tears of joy”, I lied. “The view out here is just so beautiful”, I lied again. It’s not that I thought purple sunsets were ugly… it’s just that it’s the same exact purple sunset I had watched alone yesterday and the day before. 8
”Well you should come inside and join the celebration. The chorus line just rotated into the southern parlor and we could really use a nice deep bass for harmony”, she conveyed over her shoulder as she skipped back through the doorway and off down the hall. 9
I sighed, and sighed again. I brought my legs up on the railing next to me and used them to scoot my body up against the nearest wall. I glared through the open doorway and silently prayed that one day I would understand the concept of privacy and all that it entailed. I hugged my knees deeper into my chest and shivered at the thought of never finding out. I envisioned slamming the door shut fifty times using all my might but deep down I knew even that couldn’t keep them away from me. 10
The thought was more than I could bear. I had to fight to keep down the pesky tears because I could feel barrels of them parading against the back of my eyes. Relentlessly they tortured me. 11
I leapt to my feet and pulled clenched fists up to the sides of my head. My body commenced into an abrupt paroxysm quaking. The only thing I could think to do was pace back and forth. I stammered clumsily a few laps from the door then back to the railing until I was interrupted once again. 12
”What’s going on in here?” demanded the voice of a man standing in the doorway. 13
I froze. Even my eyelashes became stiff like tiny needles. I slowly tinkered on my tiptoes until I faced him. His face had a quarter of the expression of an angry pit bull, another quarter of the expression of a confused child, and half of the expression of a madman. “It’s a new dance I was going to surprise everyone with”, I quickly retorted, now that I had a knack for this whole lying thing. 14
He gazed at me with suspicious eyes but soon relinquished saying, “Right. Well we’ve really missed you all day and I just wanted to invite you to come listen to some of the best harp-playing duets I’ve heard in the longest time.” 15
"Neat. Just allow me to perfect a few more moves and I’ll surely accompany you there once I’ve got them down”, I said with a smile of pure fluff. 16
"Hurry!”, he beckoned right before galloping off toward a room with music that I could faintly make out as the same score I was forced to sit through two days ago. Fifteen steps away he glanced back at me and I quickly returned a courtesy wave, still sporting my pseudo-smile. About fifteen more steps and he was out of sight. 17
I flopped backwards and collapsed on my back. I smacked the hard marble floor with an echoed thunk. I lay there sprawled out, feeling every emotion I had ever felt all balled up into one gigantic circus of pain. “Who am I fooling?” dredged the final bits of energy out of my mouth. I dared not even begin to answer myself. I just laid there, motionless. I let the blank sky above blanket the worn out byproducts of my attempting to distance myself from conformity. The light purple above deepened to a dark maroon and I waited for a glimpse of the moon to shine down onto my face. 18
I was interrupted instead by a deadly hum of music. The sounds growing louder with every beat, like drums on either side of my heart bashing away at will. I blinked my eyes and, snap, the music stopped. A circle of faces beamed down at me, each with a perfectly balanced and perfectly pleasant smile. “We were worried about you”, one of them assured me. “You’ve sure taken a nasty fall”, added another. “Let us help you up”, a third said as eighteen hands and eighty fingers all struggled to help lift me to my feet. 19
I flailed my body and pushed my way toward the door only to find an army-filled hallway of smiling faces. Anguish melted across my face and desperation took control of the rest of me. I plowed myself a path back to the railing of the balcony. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “I can’t take this anymore! Don’t you pedantic people ever dream? Can’t you once think beyond what’s placed right in front of your noses? How dare you call this place Paradise? There are no words for the amount of disgust I have for all of you right now, and nothing can ever change that!” 20
The fixated smiles mocked my words. Nobody had even flinched. I had finally said everything I had been dying to say for God knows how long… and I felt about as relieved as an antelope being chased by a pack of starving lions. 21
I reached my hands to the top of my head and snatched the floating ringlet of innocence with anger. I mangled and twisted the luminous loop with all of my rage until it was nothing more than a worthless trinket of junk. I spat on it and violently hurled it to the mob’s feet. 22
I climbed to the brim of the railing and I looked out into the distance. “So far the world must go.” I thought, “So many missed adventures….” 23
And I dove head first off of the balcony of my past into the mysterious unknown of my future. Never before had I felt so unafraid. I soared downwards in a slow, sweet slumber until I awoke to the sound of a baby crying. A very, very familiar baby. 24
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Author notes
(A pre-existence piece)
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Thank you for entering the contest
The imagery is awesome..I was captivated until the very end..
Well done!
~Pamela -
"___I finally shut my eyes completely and my mind raced through countless instances of fake memories and impossible maybes. It was the life I had wished for. It was the only way to experience just the littlest bit of frivolous fun while stuck in this dead-end world. “Do I settle for these substance-less notions because they are all I am entitled to?” I wondered."
^^ My fave part. Lol yeah it's alot of it..
Awesome write hun.. I can relate HEAPS..
I know the feeling..
I hope things get better
Take care.
- C
xxx
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Fine piece of work. A-(77%)
Les Murray, the only poet in Australia who earns a living from his poetry said recently that it takes too much energy to write prose any more. I had the feeling as I read this work that Murray was right. Both he and I are in our 60s. This is not to say that your prose was fluid, coherent, interesting with a good vocabulary and an engaging style. -
I must say, very well written piece with lucid descriptions that chilled me to the core. Very touching.
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almost like city of angels. i like it. some parts are better than others. but all in all, a good read. good job with writing this. was worth the read.
Blu -
is speechless I love it.. so emotional.. adds to my favorite list! I really do love it!
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This is such a captivating and enchanting story that is very well written. This must have taken some careful thought. I agree...the imagery and artistry that flows throughout this piece is just awesome. You MUST keep writing. You have amazing talent my friend.
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I was impressed! Talk about a piece of artistry! I mean I agree with everyone! This is beautiful and I could NOT keep my eyes off of it. You kept me intranced and I didnt want the story to end. I hardly read stories that can captiviate the audience the way you did in your piece. Truley and honestly amazing and impressive. I really hope to read more of your work in the future! Keep it up!
Kat -
i barely ever read stories on this site and this actually was the first i've read all the way through.. And I have to say it was awesome. I love the imagery and the ending part was my favorite. I love how you put the actions into such great detailed words. This piece is a work of art and I hope to read more of your work. Best of luck.
Kayla -
This was long but excellent! usually my mind drifts away when reading something lengthy but i couldn't keep my mind or eyes off it. i dont know what it is, but it was great. keep up the good work.
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i loved it hope to read more from you later buy bye D the cat
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Awesome piece. I LOVE reading, absolutely LOVE it, but recently nothing has been able to keep my attention. This did. You did a great great job writing this. You have some mad talent! Keep it up! I won't even bother to list my favorite parts. There were too many of them!
- Malificent Of Forbidden Mountain - -
although I'd love to read on - I somehow feel that the 'end' was enough. And yet it was also a beginning! This shouts of certain things to me yet I won't go into detail. I was moved and I enjoyed this short story. Well done on a beautiful and descriptive write!!
LLL
Rhi -
O my! I want to read more. Very, very good story! Your diction was...superb. I thoroughly enjoyed this read, and I could feel my own frustration grow with your character's as the "conformity" around him became more of a nuisance. Keep it up!
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I love the imagery in this piece. very tight story and so well-presented, easy to follow and clear print. I treminds me of the story The wallpaper, an American Classic. Very well done for a short story. The imagery and escription of the character painted a picture. Nice voice to the narrrator.
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I'm sorry I've wasted one of your clicks - I clicked in the featured box not realising this was a stroy and do not have the time to give this the full attention it probably deserves but I promise I will bookmark this and return to it with a proper comment soon.
beck
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Oh yes, very happy indeed. Well, at least at first.... but that's another story.
I love make-believe. It never has to end. 
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love sci-fi/depression
seems a leap of faith into the knowing
but faith is never a leap
it is always a step
Did this last step find you happy?
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