My home was crisp that day,1
When I walked to my park bench.2
Waiting for him to come at me,3
Again.4
Last night he started beating me,5
With his fists and barbell in hand.6
Blood seeped from my lips,7
Again.8
My hair was tugged from my head,9
As he beat it against a wall.10
I could hear it ripping,11
Again.12
My cries echoed through the walls,13
As I hit the floor.14
He laughed and called me a baby...15
Again.16
He then kicked my sides,17
And told me to leave.18
So now I sit on my park bench,19
Again.20
My safe place to sit and think,21
With all the clothes I have left.22
For here I am sitting on my park bench,23
Again.24
Author notes
Tiffany Red 10 + 5
When I saw this photo it reminded me of all the women in the world that get beat, and left on park benches just like shown in this photo. For me, seeing this photo the woman looked fearful and very sad....And abuse does nothing but create fear and sadness.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is a very strong piece. i like it. keep up the good work.
aaron -
Oh good god, the fact that this happens infuritates me, espeically since i don't believe in violence in that fasion, or most others. Disgusting, but well writen
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I have to disagree with Aeolus about the again thing. I didn't really like it because it kept repeating. But you don't have to worry though because Aeolus is the main judge and she liked it
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Great Job!!!
Wow! I loved this. The flow is so great, not to mention I loved how you percieved the picture. I liked the repetition of the word "again". You were very descriptive with everything, I could really feel and understand what your character was going through. Great write and Good Luck! ~*MuchLove*~ -
This poem flows nicely and the emotion is strong. Bravo!
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Wow! I loved the rythym going on in this poem! No ryhyme sequence, but it still makes you feel like there is one, with the repetition of (obviously!) the word "again". Vivid, good work... I particually liked the hair part. That is something most people wouldn't consider when talking about abuse, but really... I have long hair, and I know how much it hurts when it is ripped out, pulled, etc. Nice job.
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Excellent!
Wow!!! You have pulled upon my heart-strings with a very wonderfully, yet so sad poetic piece here my dear friend, and I must say, you are so right, these kind of things happen daily in our world, I think that's why I like to create my own, full of love, compassion, and caring.... Instead of all the hate I see that is given out in so many ways... I'm glad you penned this, and I really like how you bring the reader to this painful place again, and again throughout the poem, makes me really get a image of what she's going through, and how much she has already from all the times before... Ending on this lonely park bench you speak of....!Wow! really powerful....
Great job penning this, as always!
-Timothy
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