Avalon at Night

Every trip to Avalon warrants a mark of sorts.  For most the journey is a long one, bringing the young woman from being a child to a priestess. For me that has never been the case.

Avalon is a place of dreams, an island that comes out of the mist. It is a legend, tales from lore, stories passed on in front of a fire or at a child’s bed. Avalon does not exist.

But that would mean Arthur does not exist, and that cannot be so. I have seen him – he is in my class. He has the fine nose and long face of a Briton, and the dark blonde hair of legend. It is the color of sand and straw, and it adorns his regal head. Where in the past he wore a crown, he now wears a toque. Canadian, eh?

No, he is a king, the king of the Britons. He has awoken from his endless slumber to save Britain at last. Centuries have past, but now our king is back to save us. And once he does, Avalon will no longer be a place for my dreams.

I cannot wait to go back home. Every night I go there, I watch the mist part, the land draw near. I rush onto the ground, thankful to be back. First I must stop and make an offering, then I must move on quickly. At the top of a hill there is a stone circle, surrounded by trees. It is holy and sacred, forbidden to all who are not druids. Even in my dreams I cannot go there.

But Arthur can. He always was an exception to the rules. Damn that man Merlyn, always telling Arthur he was above the rest. But I digress. Merlyn is of no importance now. Arthur is on his own this time.

Why do I know these things? What makes me so special? No one else can see that Arthur has returned, no one except perhaps her. She is the blonde always by his side – always kind, sweet, caring. When I talk to Arthur she always manages to swoop in and interrupt, but always in a kind way. Always. Is she Guinevere? I hope not. Arthur was always true to her.

Those are enough questions for tonight. It is time now for me to sleep and dream of Avalon. Maybe tonight the gods will answer my questions and tell me why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mmm, the soft touch of his hand on my skin. James knows I love it when he slides his hand under my blouse. Just for him it is low in the front, bringing his eyes down to my cleavage. Just for him I lean forward on the desk, letting it push my breasts up for him. Some days I get the feeling he can hardly wait for our lab to end.

Later that night when we are back at home in our room he decides to continue what we started. As he takes off my blouse and unhooks my bra I reach over and tug his shirt up. “You want it off, do you?” he always asks me, then removes it when I nod. While he takes his shirt off I quickly shrug out of my bra. It feels awkward being there with just trousers on, but once he puts his arms around me it all goes away. I look deep into his eyes as I move forward to kiss him, holding his lips and mouth captive with mine. I always do this, hoping to find in our kiss a passion I have felt elsewhere.

Our kiss always ends the same way, with him breaking it off to suck on my breasts. James knows how much I love feeling his tongue on my nipples, so he makes sure to do it every time and watch my face as he does. When we began years ago I closed my eyes out of pleasure. Now my eyes flutter shut because of another. I never met him, but in my dreams he comes to me and shows me how a woman can be loved. James tries, he really does, but this other man does more. I do not know how, or I would have told James long ago, instead of letting him believe my sighs are a result of him and not a daydream.

“James, darling, I think you should take your trousers off now,” I suggest innocently, looking up at him with doe eyes.

“Alright, but only if yours go too,” he sighs dramatically, trying to pretend he does not want to. I just giggle and quickly shimmy out of my trousers and knickers.

From there on our night turns from sensual to pure sexual as he finds new and innovative ways to use his tongue to please me. Before the night is through all the love between us has been expressed and made, and under tangled sheets we lie together. He sleeps peacefully at my side with his arm around me, just like always. My darling James, he loves me so much. Thank the gods he knows nothing of Avalon and Arthur, or his heart would be broken. And off I drift, yet again, to another night in Avalon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tonight is different; I can feel it in the air. As I step onto the green land that is Avalon I hear a voice beckoning me to follow. And so I do, all the way to the edge of the stone circle.

“Come, child, come,” the voice calls, coming from the other side of the trees.

“I … I can’t! That’s sacred ground, on which I am forbidden to tread,” I respond, trying to keep my voice from wavering.

“Come now, it will be fine,” a new voice says, coming closer to the edge of the circle. It is so familiar, and yet I cannot remember where I have heard it before. Then suddenly I recognize the voice and try to run away. It belongs to Arthur, and I was always warned about him and strong magic.

“You cannot run, child,” the trees themselves whisper to me, separating to allow the king through.

Without another word Arthur grabs me from where I stand frozen in place and carries me into the circle. He lays me down in the middle, and suddenly I realize what is happening. He was the man in my dreams, and now he wants to have me. All of me.

I try to protest but I cannot. My mouth refuses to make a sound as he lowers his lips onto mine. His kiss was soft, not at all harsh like I had expected. The moment before he raised his head again he whispered in my ear, “I won’t hurt you, and I don’t want to do this either, but we have to. Just this once, then it will all be back to normal. Please don’t hate me.” As he drew his head back up I thought I saw tears glistening in his eyes, but it might have been the full moon. If they were tears they were gone in an instant.

For the rest of our dream all of our desires for each other came true. We both knew what the gods wanted us to do, and we did it. After the initial awkwardness faded and we felt comfortable in each other’s presence, we both began to enjoy it. At the last moment of his climax he whispered “I’m sorry” as he continued to thrust. All I could think to do was hold him close and in me, so I did, long after we finished.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning I woke up with a headache and missed the class I have with Arthur. When I did manage to see him again later that week I realized how much we had changed in just three days. He looked older and more haggard, and there was no Guinevere by his side. We managed to exchange casual conversation before class, and after he slipped me a small bottle and a note before disappearing.

The note was short and read “Lethe.” Knowing that he gave me the water so I could forget, I decided not to drink it. I suppose every trip to Avalon leaves a mark of sorts, so what good would it be to erase it all? Maybe Arthur was not here to save Britain, maybe he was here to show me that we all have a little Arthur in us all. Yes, a little Arthur. If it happens to be a boy, I shall name my son Arthur. Arthur James, so his father’s name will be there. After all, you cannot get pregnant from a dream, even if it is in Avalon.