It was halloween. The day where everyone dressed up in costumes and my birthday. I didn't like halloween much. Actually I didn't like halloween at all. In my opinion you didn't know who was real or who was fake. well what I mean by that is say someone was dressed as a witch, you wouldn't know who was really the witch who who was just playing dress up. Yes I believed in those things.
I was walking down the road on my way to my cousins house. My birthday party was being held there and I had to get there to get ready for when the guests arrived. It was around 7 PM. I was almost half way there when I realized a man in a vapire costume had been following me. I was a little scared and I started to pick up my pace. He started walking faster too. Then I started to run. He started to run also. Right then I regretted that I broke out for a run because he could run faster than me and pretty soon he caught up and grabbed me. I screamed and screamed then he put his hand over my mouth to shut me up. I looked at his face and I noticed that he was a real vampire! I could tell by his sharp teeth. I knew that these things existed!
The vampire man brought me into his house which happened to be down the block where he caught me. How ironic. It had me wondering.....Isn't it a bit weird that his house is right there? Did he know I would be coming along this way? Was he always planning on following me? Did he now I was on my way to my couisins house?
Inside his house seemed scary. All the walls were painted a dark red color. I'd say around the color of blood. There were no mirrirs in sight from where I walked in, to the room he brought me in. The room he brought me in was a pretty small room. In the room lyed a coffin. Right in the center. He sat me down in a chair and tied me up. Then he began to speak.
"My dear Gina,"..How did this man know my name?..."Ha, ha, ha, I bet that you are wondering why you are here and how I know your name. Well right now let me tell you why you are here. I am a vampire. I want to suck your blood. I've been waiting for this day to come for about 8months now. You really don't know who I am huh? Yes you do, I am your english teacher. Yes. I disguise my self as a real human being but really I am a vampire. Ever since I saw you in my class I wanted to suck your blood. In case you haven't noticed you are one of the most attractive girls in the class. Let me correct myself- in the school. I saw that tender neck of yours and I had to have it. I did not know how I could plan this to happen. Thank goodness two weeks ago I heard you conversating with a friend of yours about your party. When you mentioned where your cousin lived I was overwhelmed with joy because I noticed that to get to your cousins house, you would have to pass by mines. I also over heard how you said you would be going by yourself because your parents and sister would be coming later on."
I was shocked to hear that he was my english teacher. Who would have thought that my english teacher was a vampire. He was so nice to the students and I considered him as a favorite. I guess you don't really know someone like you think you do.
He finished speaking and he leaned against the chair to dig in. I tried to move around but it didn't help much to keep him away since I was tied up. I could feel his sharp teeth pierce into my skin. I screamed but that didn't help me. Pretty soon I felt my spirit lift from my body. Yup I was dead. I looked up from above and cried. My life ended so soon. How would my family and friends feel? How woukd they find out?
Well to tell you. They never did find out. They reported my missing and never found my body. Wel of coarse they would never find it because the vampire man/ my english teacher, ate me up and put the bones in his casket. No one ever suspected that he did anything. No one knows what happened to me that evening.
A contest entry
- Holiday Tragedy by TheCoffeeGod.
100 points, ended January 15, 2007, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
good imagination
-
Oh I love a good Halloweeen story and yours gives me ideas...
-
very interesting
i think that the story was very interesting. i saw a few spelling mistakes but that is about it. very good -
Creepy...
It was a pretty creepy story, but it was interesting. It would be more attention grabbing if you included more details like looks, surroundings and memories to accent the story being told. There were only a few gramatical errors, but other than that, I liked it very much. Keep up the good work! -
i liked it, very different from what I usually read, a few spelling mistakes, but keep it up
-
First of all, thank you very much for your feedback on my story. I will keep in mind what you suggested when I go back through and edit the final copy.
As for this story of yours, I have a couple of things to say. I like the general idea of it, and it's a very interesting story. I think it could have a bit more detail. It jumps through the climax a bit too quickly. But other than that and a few spelling/grammar errors, it's a pretty good story. Keep up the good work! -
Another good story of yours I have read. Some more details would be nice to read and all. Kinda creepy, but still good. Good job!
-
Very short and I felt there could be more to it. There were some spelling mistakes and more detail could make up for the plot. I felt that this was a good start but it still lacked elaboration and some of suspense to it. Maybe by making it longer and more scarier would make the story better. Overall, I think you have a great idea. I hope this is helpful..anyways, keep up the good work and ideas!
-
This is a very interesting story. I enjoyed reading it, weird, but good. Keep up the writing. Good luck in the contest. God Bless!
-
just a quick comment, in stories, don't begin a paragraph or sentence with " So, anyways,..." It doesn't sound very professiona;, but that's the only mistake I've seen so far. The beginning is interesting though..
1 - 10 of 10








