Sorry that you don't love me
Sorry did I do something wrong
Sorry I hate my life for you not being here
Sorry what did I do wrong was it anything
Sorry that I am not all what you want to be
Sorry I did not give up you told me I would not
Be anything in life you lied cause I am I'm
Everything that you told me I would not be
I'm a mother and a good parent un like you and
I'm writing on here story write you told me I
would never write you told me writing don't
follow in my blood but it does.gary this is for you
I can be what I want in life I do believe but
I dont believe in you you hurt me to many times
And all I have to say is sorry should I even be
Eva
A contest entry
- Under 200 words by QueenWolf.
140 points, ended May 22, 2007, 49 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Please i cant stress enough when writing a poem please use fullstops commers ect. it makes the reading easier.
You have a few problems with the wording in your poem, BUT I can feel the emotions placed into it. Good luck
~Princess~ -
Well Done
You asked me to read this, so here is my response to it.
Wonderful.
Very good word play and emotional support of the poem. I like the apparent self loathing in it as well. The way you show how you want to say sorry for everything you have done, and then say that you are sorry for being around. Usually the words of a suicidal person if I do say so myself. Thanks for recommending this piece.
D!b^ch! -- Z3ku13 -
OMG
THIS IS DEDICATED TO REAL LIFE?sorry i accidentally used caps.im amazed
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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good job iliked this also it's very moving to me i think you are very good at this stuff keep it up and good luck in all you do on here
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you have used the tools of poetry to the max. I love the sense that i get from reading it. Gotta love it.
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Good poem. The structure is well done and the flow is very smooth. Amazing work and I can see you're making more progress. Good job!
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