Emma turned from Elliot with a deep breath and, holding hands, they moved with the line to the ferry. When they had boarded a man snapped the gate behind them.
"That's all for this crossing," he said.
As the boat pushed off Elliot and Emma looked back. They watched the eerie smiling faces in the line fade behind them in the fog.
"Come on," said Emma as she pulled Elliot through the crowd so that they were at the front of the ferry.
They were approaching an old dock that was backed against a stone wall. In the wall was an archway that opened to bright descending stairs. Emma's eyes went up the wall to an opening. It was as if they were docking beneath a cave but the wall didn't reach the top. She could see a strange transparent layer of green light in the open section between the cave's ceiling and the wall.
"Look," she pointed out to Elliot.
But as she spoke the front gate of the ferry opened and the crowd began to pour out. Elliot and Emma clung to the railing but Elliot was to close to the exit to keep from getting swept away. Emma reached out to grab his hand but their palms only brushed each other. Then Emma began to fall to the current, so she slid beneath the railing and into the murky water.
It was up to her thighs and her boots weighed her down, but she managed to trudge though the muck to the damp slimy wall. None of the ferry passengers took notice of her - all walking like robots, their eyes transfixed on the white tunnel.
She never considered herself weak but, as Emma struggled to pull herself up the slippery unalligned blocks, she could feel a strain on her muscles. There was little space for her feet and the mossy grime covering the wall's surface seemed determined to make her fall. But, finally, she was there. Summoning all her strength she swung a leg over the top of the wall and moved to a crouching position.
She was sitting along side of the strange green screen that she had seen from below. It resembled the snow of a television, dancing with an electric glow.
Emma caught her breath and then reached out to touch it. She touched nothing. It was like trying to feel bath bubbles. She crawled through.
Emma looked down at an expanse of land. It seemed like evening yet places had the appearance of being lit by overhead lights. But not only were there no lights, therer was no sky. It was just black - what you could see of it. The rest was covered in green tiles like a computer game. This was Emma's thought process and that's when she realized the awkward feeling of all the scenery. It was like a game.
Beneath her was a small space surrounded by a tall fence. In front of her were two more such cages, both with large dog houses. To her left was a run down house of peeling white paint.There were many eucaluptus-like trees sprinkled throughout the area. To her right was a rocky pile which looked like an easy way down. She went to descend it when an old rusting black 1950 ford pickup pulled up to the house. Emma pulled her leg back up and she sat still.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Unique and interesting. Although, I found it difficult to read without the spacing and such. There wasn't really any indication of paragraphs. Perhaps, you can indent on each new paragraph. There was also a word I didn't get. I think it was 'wjocj'. Is it an abbreviation or something? Anyways, this has a very interesting title and an unfolding plot. Good start!
-
Still good!
A couple of typos--wjocj-- but the story itself is progressing quite nicely! Keep going, and let me know when there's more!


