I love her and I know that for damn sure, but I don’t know if us being together right now is the best thing for us. All we do is fight and I’m wondering if she would just rather be friends right now instead of dating each other. I mean she has her problems and I have mine and we each need to sort them out somehow. I wonder if anyone would agree with me on this one, or would they just turn their backs on me??? I don’t know, all I know is that I’m going to talk to her tomorrow and see what she says. It’s a mystery with her and everyone else.
If I cry for help would anyone help me or would they act like they don’t know me and just walk on by??? If I die would anyone miss me or would they not even care??? Should I ask for a gun and tell them a lie for what I am going to use it for instead of actually telling them what I intend to do with it??? Will others hurt because of my death??? Will they wonder why I did it??? Will they break down because I killed myself??? Will they kill themselves in turn to my actions??? Will they precede to call me stupid??? Will they shake their heads at my lifeless body??? Will they even care???
They tell me not to kill myself because of how it will affect others. How it will affect my cousins babies. How it will affect my mother. How it will affect Papa and Nana. How it will supposedly affect my grandmother or everyone else. And if I kill myself then they will kill themselves because of my selfish action that I committed. I say that’s their decision on how they take it and what they do after it happens.
What if I don’t die of suicide??? Then what would they do??? What if I died from some disease that had no cure to it??? Then what would they do??? Would they still have killed themselves??? Would they still have blamed it on themselves??? Would they still have broken down like they would have if I had killed myself??? Would they even care then???
She tells me not to talk about me wanting to die but she does it anyways. She tells me not to say that, but she says it anyways. Why is she so hypocritical??? She calls me a hypocrite because of what I say but why isn’t she a hypocrite about what she says. She doesn’t want me to want to die, but she has it in her head that it’s okay for her to want to die. Well no it’s not and it hurts me to hear her say that over and over because I love her more than she knows and more than I can show her at the moment. It tears me up inside to know that she wants to die so bad because of what’s going on in her life.
I’m sorry I betrayed you so much I am, I’m sorry I even had the intentions to betray you and hurt you and make you mad like I did. It’s just I don’t know anymore not anymore than you do and everyone looks to me for solutions and I’m tired of it and all I’ve done most of my life is lie about myself because of what I’ve dealt with not only have I lied to others but I’ve lied to myself a bout shit and you know what I’m truly do apologize for all the bullshit I’ve caused in your life; I do I apologize for everything I’ve done to you or lied to you about I just wanted you to know that.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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yes i would care
yes i know alot of people that would brake down if you died and some of them happen to be my family and your friends and alot of people care for you if you know it or not and you are not stupid. i like the way it was writen -
love her and I know that for damn sure, but I don’t know if us being together right now is the best thing for us. All we do is fight and I’m wondering if she would just rather be friends right now instead of dating each other. I mean she has her problems and I have mine and we each need to sort them out somehow. I wonder if anyone would agree with me on this one, or would they just turn their backs on me??? I don’t know, all I know is that I’m going to talk to her tomorrow and see what she says. It’s a mystery with her and everyone else.
If I cry for help would anyone help me or would they act like they don’t know me and just walk on by??? If I die would anyone miss me or would they not even care??? Should I ask for a gun and tell them a lie for what I am going to use it for instead of actually telling them what I intend to do with it??? Will others hurt because of my death??? Will they wonder why I did it??? Will they break down because I killed myself??? Will they kill themselves in turn to my actions??? Will they precede to call me stupid??? Will they shake their heads at my lifeless body??? Will they even care???
They tell me not to kill myself because of how it will affect others. How it will affect my cousins babies. How it will affect my mother. How it will affect Papa and Nana. How it will supposedly affect my grandmother or everyone else. And if I kill myself then they will kill themselves because of my selfish action that I committed. I say that’s their decision on how they take it and what they do after it happens.
What if I don’t die of suicide??? Then what would they do??? What if I died from some disease that had no cure to it??? Then what would they do??? Would they still have killed themselves??? Would they still have blamed it on themselves??? Would they still have broken down like they would have if I had killed myself??? Would they even care then???
She tells me not to talk about me wanting to die but she does it anyways. She tells me not to say that, but she says it anyways. Why is she so hypocritical??? She calls me a hypocrite because of what I say but why isn’t she a hypocrite about what she says. She doesn’t want me to want to die, but she has it in her head that it’s okay for her to want to die. Well no it’s not and it hurts me to hear her say that over and over because I love her more than she knows and more than I can show her at the moment. It tears me up inside to know that she wants to die so bad because of what’s going on in her life.
I’m sorry I betrayed you so much I am, I’m sorry I even had the intentions to betray you and hurt you and make you mad like I did. It’s just I don’t know anymore not anymore than you do and everyone looks to me for solutions and I’m tired of it and all I’ve done most of my life is lie about myself because of what I’ve dealt with not only have I lied to others but I’ve lied to myself a bout shit and you know what I’m truly do apologize for all the bullshit I’ve caused in your life; I do I apologize for everything I’ve done to you or lied to you about I just wanted you to know that.
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if you cried for help, i would help you as best as i know how.
if you died i would miss you more than anything
don't ask for a gun, don't get a gun, don't use a gun, please?
i will hurt greatly if you died, i would wonder, i would probably break down, i would wonder slightly, but i would also partly know, will i die? i don't know, maybe...probably
no, you are not stupid, you are confused
i would cry ove your body, not shake my head
and YES i would care, i care NOW
i will care, no matter how you died, and most likely, i would break down regardless...
i am hypocritical, maybe becasue i show that i careabout you, and i want the same fomr you....
and i frely admit that i am a hypocrite,
i love you...
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okay umm....thanks for your comment and i dont know this is what i wrote last night befor ei decided to do anything today i had nothing else to do so i posted this on here......
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