War, Love, & Such

"I thought that life is linear, but it's not. You keep going back and revisiting the past.... Poeple seem to think that you can just remarry, and forget the past. But it doesn't work that way. You don't forget a loved one coming home in a casket draped with a large American flag...."1

Anyone could see the evident pain in her glassy eyes as she spoke. She was confident, and spoke well, but occasionally her voice quivered with emotion. As she told a crowd of naive, uncomprehending high school students about falling in love at fifteen, and then losing her love to the Vietnam war, and being notified of his death on her twenty-fourth birthday, you could actually hear the pain, the overwhelming emotions, the memories, as well as see them. 2

I tried to put myself in her place, but just couldn't. The man she lost was someone she'd been in love with for nine years, and had been married to for several years. The closest person I can relate that to is my boy friend, who I've only been dating for seven months. 3

I can't imagine the pain of receiving the letter. "We regret to inform you.... your loved one died in the pointless war they were determined they were needed in...." I can't comprehend the aftermath, the hate, the emotional turmoil, reconstructing your life, remarriage, and so much more that she had to deal with. 4

More than twenty-five years later, and she still can recite lines from the letter. She can describe her ex-husband in detail. She talks about him with a sad smile on her face, and watery eyes. She recalls so many memories she shared with him, and mourns him to this day. She's remarried now, but you can tell her heart still belongs to her first husband.5