Adventures of Disillusionment - Chapter 4 - The Burning House of Cards

With few expectations I found the burden of friendship easier to bare. I didn’t expect much from Kristin and so found it easier to not be disappointed. After the break we started working out together and she started dating again. She met random guys on campus and exchanged numbers with them. One of them called her but didn’t leave a number. She didn’t hear from him until he showed up a month later at a party of Alex’s blazed on one drug or another. Another guy took her to a business club meeting and then to the gym. The goofiness of that one didn’t work out. I laughed more and more at the strangeness of these guys until she landed on one even I couldn’t laugh off. He wasn’t her type was the only thought that resonated in my mind. He just wasn’t her type.

Dan was a sweet, intelligent guy who spent much of his between class time hanging out at Brady Commons, a comfortable building with couches and food establishments. I had met him there a few months ago, and though I had noticed him, had brushed it off. He wasn’t quiet but not entirely outgoing either it seemed. He studied hard and seemed a bit nerdy, though attractive. Kristin however had taken a fancy to him, sometime around early December.

Just as the two of them got to talking online, the first snow of the year had taken to dispensing two feet of the white powder on the ground. The first morning that snow lay on the ground, and classes had been canceled, a wonderful Friday, I received a desperate series of instant messages asking for help. Kristin needed to get food, as she didn’t have any and was snowed in.

It took Neil and I an hour to dig my Chevrolet Cavalier out of the snow with an ice scraper and some plastic pitchers, my hands freezing the entire time for lack of gloves. We finally made our way over snow-packed streets to her house. Neil had driven, being too concerned to let me drive in the snow. She had bounded out of her house with an excited smile and an exclamations of her love of snow. To my aggravation she was chipper.

Once at Wal-Mart she bounded up and down the isles like an excited 6 year old, while Neil and I trailed behind her pushing the cart, feeling like exhausted parent of just such a child must feel. Though she had been informed of previous plans on our part she took her time. Slowly deciding what she did and didn’t need. The more chipper she became the more aggravated I got. I held Neil’s hand in the pocket of his jacket and I squeezed to let him know how grand my irritation was becoming. His knowing nod let me know he felt much the same way.

After over an hour of bouncing back and forth from isle to isle we finally made it to the checkout lane. Her excited babbling about Dan continued as we waited to pay. I felt compelled to see them together, as he seemed like a guy who could contain her. A guy who could tether her from her own instabilities and a guy who could handle the things about her that I myself could not. I also had a nagging suspicion as did many of the other observers of the situation that it wouldn’t work out. Either he would back out realizing just what he was getting into or she would grow bored as she often did. The nice ones rarely kept her interest; they didn’t have enough drama attached, it was the assholes that she went for.

Finally back at the apartment an hour later, Chloe and I discussed what movies to get for that night. We finally settled on a few porns after we watched Shindler’s List. After all we would need cheering up post-depressing movie. We giggled and talked all the way to the movie store as our boots slipped on the ice while we walked.

While sifting through the endlessly cheesy collection of porn DVD’s I was startled by a vibration in my jeans pocket. I dug my phone and stared at the unfamiliar number.

“Hello?” The question in my voice was as obvious as the one in my eyes. Who the hell was this?
“Hey Kat, this is Jason.” As if by psychic ability, or maybe just the normal introduction of phone etiquette he identified himself. Jason was someone I had befriended in Brady Commons, one of Dan’s friends and generally a nice guy, though a bit overwhelming at times.
“Oh hey. What’s up?” I shuddered at the thought of another person asking for rides or favors.
“Well, see, the thing is that Dan and Kristin really want to see each other, and I wanted to hang out with people as well, and since you and Neil seem to be the only ones with a moving vehicle, I was wondering if maybe you two couldn’t grab Dan and Kristin and we could all hang out at my house?” He inhaled at the end of his rant for the first time since he’d started talking.
“Umm, Jason, honestly, I don’t feel like chauffeuring any more people tonight. Plus I promised my roommate a movie night with her, and I fully intend to keep it.” I spoke softly yet firmly into the phone.
“I understand all that, but it wouldn’t be chauffeuring, it would be hanging out, and everyone’s welcome to come. And…”
“Jason,” I cut him off. “No, I have plans, and I don’t feel like being Kristin and Dan’s lapdog and chauffeur them on dates.”
“But it’s not like…” He began again to my frustration. By this point Neil was glaring angrily at the phone at my ear and Chloe stood beside me tapping her foot in rage.
“Look Jason,” I interrupted him again. “Here’s the deal, I’ve said no, here’s it goes from here, if you convince my roommate and make her agree, then I will too.” I could hear him begin to protest, but instead of listening I handed the phone over to Chloe’s waiting hand. Her tone surly and her words harsh she explained how nagging was rude and how she’d prefer it if people didn’t keep intruding on the night she and I had planned. I giggled to myself at her assertiveness. I could be that way as well, but I had pangs of guilt at it, with her it flowed smoothly and beautifully as though the natural order of things.

We spent the rest of the night enjoying Chile and watching movies. It was a nice break from classes and the emotional roller coasters that seemed to control our lives.

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Plans were made to join Kristin and Dan at her place and have a nice night in. Movies, board games and pizza. After we had all assembled we made our way to Wal-Mart to pick out the food and potentially game we wanted. We settled on a garlic bread pizza and the game of life which already awaited us at the house.

Life went splendidly as we watched Cruel Intentions and ate pizza. After the game and food was set aside a challenge had erupted. Kristin and Dan began wrestling on the living room floor, screeching and grunting at the blows that were shared. It was amusing to watch and even made me run to get her camera to document the fun. A bet was set in place that the loser of a certain number of rounds would have to run outside in their underwear.

Sitting on the couch taking pictures I was given a moment to contemplate how the situation had been manipulated. More often than not, Kristin ended up straddling Dan in their struggle. Other times even more sexually charged positions had been taken. Had she planned this all along? It seemed probable.

I looked up catching Neil’s eye. He looked bored as he sat in the chair across the room from me. I motioned for him to come over and sit by me. He shook his head lightly and instead decided to stay put. I huffed in response and continued to take pictures. Why did he have to always do that? Decide he didn’t want to be anywhere near me when I really wanted to spend time with him? I gave up on trying to figure it out until I talked to him later that night.

Meanwhile Kristin was stripping to her underwear and heading into the snow. I stood in the doorway taking pictures of her half naked form as she made her way to the garage and back. As we walked back inside I followed Kristin inside and Dan walked behind me reaching for the camera as I rushed to her room. The pictures were download as I distracted him with tickling. Neil simply stood in the background observing. My eyes caught Dan’s for a minute and something sparked. Something felt right, his eyes were alive, there was something there. Before I could identify it he looked away.

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The sun beamed down causing the afternoon to be unexpectedly warm for December as the familiar number appeared on my cell phone yet again.

“Hey.” I spoke hesitantly waiting to see what she needed today.
“Hey Kat, you want to come to the Police Station with me?” She’d told me she needed to go earlier today but had made no indication she wanted me there. I guess my curiosity finally got the best of me.
“Sure, I guess. We could go work out after.” I knew she’d like that idea, and if I wasn’t too tired I needed the work-out.
“Yeah, sounds great. I’ll pick you up at like 4ish?” Her voice was excited, balancing on chipper and I felt my aggravation growing.
“Yeah, see you then, buh-bye.” I hung up before hearing her response. Things were just easier that way.

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“Follow me.” The officer’s voice was gruff and gritty, but not in the pleasant way. His round belly and portly, pig-like face truly fed the stereotype for me. I bit my tongue, not daring to laugh in a situation like this. He led us along a labyrinth of hallways with doors everywhere. The electric light made everything seem dreary, and dank, like a hospital but not nearly as sterile. I cringed at the thought.

He finally opened a door for us, after checking to make sure that the room wasn’t occupied. He ushered us in with a wave of his hand.
“Right this way ladies.” His voice grated on my already tired mind once more
“Thank you.” Kristin responded with a serious tone, that seemed too composed to be hers. I simply nodded in response, preferring to keep quiet.
“So, tell me what happened? You said something about drugs?” She nodded and proceeded to relay the events that had transpired since the beginning of the summer when they had all moved in together. He simply nodded through her story and took notes. When she was done he stared he with beady eyes and remained silent for a moment.

“So let me get this straight. You two were living together and started dating, and now you’re broken up?” She looked at him for a second before shaking her head and correcting him.
“We dated for a few months, and then moved in together.”
“So you’re still together then?” He asked about their relationship status again.
“No. We broke up about a month ago.” She looked at him trying to figure out if this was getting through.
“So you dated, and moved in together, and now you’re broken up.” He clarified again. Mentally I was throwing my hands up in frustration and slamming my head against the wall. At least by this point he’d gotten it.
“Yes.” She nodded and continued to look at the still semi-confused officer.
“And now there’s a drug situation at the house?” He continued to probe.
“Yes.” she replied calmly, much more calmly than I ever could have. From there he went on a long speech telling her what her options were. The first involved speaking with a lawyer, the second calling them if one of the ‘nuisance parties’ happened to take place again. He also informed her that this was mostly a civil matter and that the police would likely not be able to do much. She stared at him in awe and proceeded to ask about details.

“Young lady, you seem to be really set on getting this boyfriend of yours arrested, and that seems” He began a speech that may have lasted longer than the last if she hadn’t cut him off.
“No, I just want to be let out of my lease.” She interjected calmly trying to get her point across. I had to wonder though. Was she really just trying to get out? Or was there more to this than that?

The officer shuffled us out of the room and back down the maze of halls to the spot where we had entered. As we walked Kristin kept up about the house and the officer who seemed dull and slightly stupid perked up at the idea of catching a drug dealer in one of his deals at the house. He looked at me with newly refreshed interest sparkling in his eyes and asked me to wait in the waiting area outside. I obliged and went to sit down. For a while I heard their voices through the door, and then the footsteps leading away from me. I sat in the dirty white room and listened to the sounds of the dispatch radio as I waited.

Weighted down by what seemed like an irresistible urge to sleep my eyes were slowly shutting. The lids fell into place giving me peace for what seemed like hours, but had actually only been moments before the door to the endless hallways finally swung open and I jerked back into wakefulness. Kristin came out as I sat up slowly, arching my back against the plastic chair that had reeked havoc on my muscles. The small bones popped back into place as I stretched and eyed her. Kristin’s eyes were wide with shock and she looked almost stunned. I had vaguely heard voices through the door in my sleep stained state, and figured they had already said their goodbyes. A small smile slowly crept onto her features as she continued to look at me. My eyes implored her to say something.

“Let’s go.” Her voice was stronger than I’d heard it in a while as she began walking out of the dank room and into the quickly chilling night air. Several hours had passed while we’d been in the station and as my feet hit the street I hugged myself.
“What happened?” My arms tightened around me as a light breeze sent another chill through me.
“I’ll tell you on the way. I need to go to campus for a bit.” She looked at me over the roof of the car and smiled. Her smile was now wider than before, more confident.

As we drove to campus and the warm air blew at us from the heaters she told me what had happened. After her mention of Turner, the drug dealer who frequented the house and his duffel bag of drugs varying from common to designer she had been shuffled to a different room. She waited patiently until a man who introduced himself as Tim and nothing more came in to talk to her. Tim was an investigator and his identity remained fairly secret. He didn’t give out his last name, and the only people who saw him and knew his job were the ones involved in his cases.

He asked her everything, every detail about Turner and when she had offered up all the information she could he handed her a business card. On it was just a number. No name, no other information. If she found out something new, or if Turner was at the house with his duffel bag of magic tricks she was to dial the number. It reached his pager I believe. Either way that would be the only way to contact him, and she was to not contact him under any other pretense. After she paged him, she would be called back and if she didn’t identify herself immediately, he would hang up.

Her excitement rose as she told me that nobody was to know. In fact she had been told to lie to me and claim that she felt uncomfortable talking in front of me. I sat and listened to her voice as it rose several octaves and then fell as she entered the parking lot she had been headed to. She came to look for a truck that she could identify as Turner’s and write down the license plate number. As we did this her voice fell to hushed tones as she tried to remember the type of truck he drove.

Sitting beside her the realization of how serious and how dangerous this had gotten flooded over me. I would help her, but the risk she was putting us both in was immense. I let everything wash over me as I stilled my nerves with deep breathes. The possibilities of the situation were endlessly bad. Everything could turn out okay, but we could also get swallowed up in a whirlwind of dangerous situations culminating in a frightening end. I pushed the thoughts aside as new ones began to creep in. Kristin, more chipper than usual was now going on and on about Alex going to jail for being an accessory to drug distribution charges. Her giddiness made me wary. She no longer seemed in it to get out, she seemed to be looking for her own morbid revenge. How long would I be willing to play along with this?

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We sat gathered again at Kristin’s house. Dan and Neil chatted about something or other as some movie played on TV. I had been excited when it started but had gotten lost in thought since then. I police cars that drove by her house periodically put me on edge. Her house was under constant watch and it unnerved me.

The door opening jolted me from my thoughts as I looked up to see a girl I didn’t quite recognize walk in. She seemed familiar but I couldn’t place her. Behind her Alex and 3 friends trailed in. The girls name still eluded me as she disappeared upstairs after a few pleasant words with Neil and Kristin. She dated one of the guys that was now drinking upstairs. Kristin looked at me with hopeful eyes as music played from one of the cell phones in the room. Dan’s eyes widened as he dug it out of his pocket. After a quick conversation he said his goodbyes and received a longing look from Kristin as he walked out the door.

When Neil and I announced that we were supposed to head out as well, Kristin asked that we stay a bit longer with a pleading look in her eyes. I explained that I had promised Chloe, but Kristin insisted and said it would only be a bit.

Soon enough she was in her room making a call to the police. I heard the stairs creek and walked out of her room to see Neil coming back into the living room. I looked at him with a questioning look and he simply shrugged. Scrunching my face I sat down on the couch. Moments later 3 people shuffled out with a case of beer and got in their cars. I shot Neil a look as I got up and met Kristin in the hall way on the way out of her room. Telling her what happened in hushed tones as she entered he living room.

“What did you do?” She looked at Neil with anger, my own glare mirrored hers.
“Nothing!” He looked at me innocently. Something lurked behind his look but I had to trust him. I loved him, and I owed him that much.
“What happened?” I asked calmer now.
“I just went upstairs and asked what they were doing. They offered for me to play poker and I said we’d be leaving soon.” He looked at Kristin as we listened to his story. Kristin almost growled as the anger intensified in her eyes and walked back to her room. I followed on her heels.

“He ruined everything!” She almost yelled, her voice a shrill, fevered pitch. I looked at her sadly. It could have been over, I could have been free of her vengeance plans. Instead my own boyfriend had potentially sentenced me to dealing with this, her fits and plans for months to come. I hugged her slowly trying to calm her down as she picked up the receiver and call the officers back. I walked out closing her door behind me.

“What happened?” I said through gritted teeth, doing my best not to scream at the sad lump of my boyfriend that sat on the couch.
“I already told you.” he looked at me with a scrunched face as his voice took a newly reached tone of upset.
“Is that all?” I asked, making sure, my voice more cautious.
“Yes.” His insistence put my questions to rest.

After her call was made a fuming Kristin sat in the living room and yelled, bitching at Neil about how he’d ruined it all. I simply sat on the rug on her living room floor and felt the tears deep in my throat. They didn’t show and I didn’t dare let them. After a bit the room grew silent as Kristin glared at the TV in rage and Neil started drifting toward sleep.

The sudden ringing of his phone shattered through the tension in the room and caused both me and Kristin to sit up and look at him expectantly.

“Hello?” his sleepy voice asked the receiver. A mumbled answer that neither of us could hear as we looked expectantly at Neil. Both of us erratically gesturing and whispering “Who is it?”
“Why the hell are you calling me?” he spoke into the phone still dazed, but slowly waking up. We continued trying to illicit a response. In a huff Neil looked at us and spoke angrily while covering the receiver “Alex!” Kristin sat up even more rigidly trying to tell him to say that she hadn’t called the police. Neil simply continued talking.
“What?” His confusion at something Alex had said mixed with frustration at us.
“I don’t know man.” A mumbled response and a repetition of the sentiment on Neil’s part. Finally he hung up the phone.

An exasperated Kristin sat, shoulders slumped and stared across the room at Neil. She asked him what the exchange had been about. He told her that Alex had asked if she’d called the police an he’d responded that he didn’t know. Two sets of hands flew in the air at this. Both Kristin and I glared at him before she slowly spoke.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell him what I said? That I hadn’t?” Her words were paced and rage brewed behind them.
“I just don’t want to get involved.” A whiny whimper escaped Neil’s lips.
“Neil, you’re already involved. You became involved when you went upstairs.” The anger obvious in my voice I licked my quickly drying lips as I spoke.
“If you didn’t want to be involved you should have stayed down here. You just announced to Alex that I had called the police.” She screeched at him.
“No, I didn’t, I said I didn’t know.” He stammered out quickly.
“Yes Neil, that says yes, but I don’t want to get anyone into trouble.” She hissed out getting up and walking back to her room. I sat stunned. I was angry that this wouldn’t end, that he had put me in this situation where I’d have to clean up messes again. I was more than angry I was enraged, but I bit my tongue.

After ten or so minutes of sitting I had subdued the emotion enough to get up and not feel weak in the knees. I walked to Kristin’s room and made my apologies for him, saying good night. I came back out and jolted Neil awake after cleaning up and told him that we were leaving.

That night I yelled at him for over an hour. I lectured him on responsibility for his actions and growing up. I was fed up. Not with him, but with everyone and everything. Apologizing to Chloe for missing our night had taken a toll on me as had all the other misadventures of the night. I took it out on him, because that night he had caused the brunt of it to spiral out of control. It wasn’t all his fault, but he had been the straw to break the camel’s back. For over a week after that I defended him to those around me saying that he hadn’t done anything on purpose, and that it had been an accident.