Picture Perfect *Chapter One- Cold Reunion*

It had been so long, so long since she had driven through this town. She could still remeber every little nook and cranny. It was depressing to be looking through time, she felt like Alice driving through Wonderland. Only, she was in real life, and this was no looking glass. This was her hometown, the small town she had grown up in. This was where she had learned all of life's lessons, only to have them torn up, chewed up and spit out in the world of big cities. She had adapted quickly after her freshman year of college, learning her new lessons about the REAL real world. Now, at the age of 28 and the youngest president of a major advertising company, Marissa Sentile just couldn't believe she was driving back to the hole in the wall she once called home.

The streets looked just as they had the day she had moved out to start a career in Chicago, 8 years ago. She also remembered quite distinctly that she had thought the exact same thing 10 years ago when she had left for college. Nothing had changed in over a decade. The streets were still line with perfectly manicured lawns (lawns she remembered destroying with her two best friends Aiden Manning and Tara Laurenk each Halloween) and small quaint shoppes. The people looked just as they had before, the bad fashion sense, people walking around in slippers and pajamas and ugly sweat pants. Even the business owners went out like that! She couldn't believe it. She was never seen outside of her home in anything less than a freshly pressed skirt and at least a crisp polo. No one ever saw her in sweats, not to mention pajamas! Yet, these people did that easily. No, nothing had changed in a decade, except for people getting older, and of course, the reason she had driven all this way, the occasional death.

Yes, Marissa had canceled numerous important meetings and had taken off a lot of time during their busiest season to return here to be at the side of her oldest friend, Tara Laurenk. Tara was dying of a newly discovered disease, Marissa wasn't quite sure what. All she knew was that her friend was sick and needed her. She couldn't believe that Tara had asked for her at all. They hadn't left on wonderful terms. In fact, Marissa had left the town after telling Tara she was worthless and that her wish to remain in the town and start her own business was foolish. They hadn't talked since, even though Marissa still kept a picture of the three of them, her, Tara and Aiden, with her at all times and looked at it whenever she needed strentgh to get through another day.

It was Aiden that had called her to break the news of Tara's disease, and her chances. Neither news was good. So, Marissa had canceled everything, literally dropped everything she was working on (the papers she left on the floor of her office as she ran out attest to that) and began the long drive to Heartland, a small town in New England. Now, days later, she was back, and the first thing she saw was the bakery, with the new sign, Tara's Tarts, the windows dark and a large closed sign in the window. She manuvered the car through the avenues and parked in front of a familiar old farm house. Aiden sat on the porch.

Marissa got out of her car and walked up to her old friend. He stared for a minute, as if unsure of who she was, then smiled.

"Issa!!!" he yelled, coming down the steps to meet her.

"Aid! How are you? Oh my God, it's been so long."

"I know. We've missed you and your mischief around here. Please, come in. I'll have Karen fix you dinner and perhaps some tea or coffee?"

"Karen?"

"My cousin," he replied.

"Oh, I though you had actually gotten married," Marissa joked, and was surprised to find herself looking over Aiden's appearence. He had definately grown up. Instead of the weak goofball she had left, he was strong and had an air of authority about him. His dark hair was long and shaggy and hung in his blue-green eyes. He had grown taller as well. His jeans and button up white shirt made him look like the typical New England farmboy.

"You look well, Issa, Chicago's been good for you," he said, noticing her appearence for the first time. She wore a dark navy skirt and a crisp white shirt with a navy blazer over it. Her severe navy heels gave her every look of a woman Aiden didn't know- a Chicago business woman. Yet in her face, he saw the face of his friend. Her auburn hair was complemented by her bright green eyes, which still held all the kindness and the glint of mischief he remembered.

The two walked in silence into the house. Entering the dining room they were greeted by a beautiful woman and a little girl.

"Issa, this is Karen, my cousin. And this little monster," he started, picking up the girl of 5, "is my daughter, Melinda."

"It's been too long, Aiden," Marissa said sadly staring at the beautiful child he held, "far too long."

Marissa looked around the quaint house. Unlike the rest of the town, Aiden's home had come into the 21st century. A large widescreen TV dominated one wall in the living room and a computer and papers took up a whole desk. The walls no longer had aged, yellowing wallpaper of terrible design, but fresh, bright colors and clean boarders. She also noted the lack of the scent of nicotine and alcohol.

"It's changed a lot hasn't it?" he asked, coming up alongside her.

"Yes. It doesn't smell..."she replied not knowing what else to say. It had been something they had joked about as children.

"It took a long time to get rid of it. And a lot of work. Tara helped me a lot with that."

"How is she, Aid? I should go see her..."

"Wait, Iss... let me go see her first and tell her you came."

"But you said she..."

"No. She didn't ask for you. I did. Even if she won't say it, I know she needs you by her side in this time. She hasn't forgotten the good times. But you know her and her pride, she won't admit she misses you."

"Aiden... why? Why didn't you just tell me?

"I feared that if I asked, maybe you wouldn't come... I didn't know whether or not Chicago had changed you so much that you had forgotten us in our little old speck on the map."

"So you didn't trust me enough to remember you guys? You thought I would forget you!?" she said angrily.

"Oh come on Marissa, you know better than I do that you wouldn't come back here unless you really had to, so don't go getting mad at me! Forgive me if I hurt that pride of yours by speaking the truth," he replied.

"That's not true!"

"The last time you came back was for my father's funeral, 8 years ago. I have sent you letters and invitations to numerous parties and gatherings we've had here, but I never got a single response."

"Well forgive me, life can be hectic when your the president of a popular advertising firm. Tell me, what have you been doing that allows you to judge me?"

"I am a father, recovering from the death of my wife, trying to raise a daughter by myself and..."

"Speaking of that, exactly when did you get married and who was the lucky lady? I don't believe I even got an invitation to this event."

"Her name was Lara and we got married 6 years ago. And you did get an invitation... you chose to ignore it."

"I NEVER got that, or believe me I would have been here. I would never ignore the wedding of my best friend."

"Well, I sent it out and never got anything back. It hurt not to see your other best friend there. Then she died... and... I had to raise my little girl all by myself while maintaining a career as a lawyer."

"Aiden... I'm sorry... but I never..."

"I have to go see Tara and tell her your here. Where are you staying?"

"A motel outside of town..."

"No you aren't... if you've got no where else to go you can stay here. There's a room at the top of the stairs second door on the right. Karen, can you help her get settled?" he asked his cousin as she entered the room, a concerned look on her face.

"Of course, Aiden. Come on, Marissa, it's right up here," she smiled at her warmly as her cousin left the house and she went up the stairs. Marissa followed reluctantly, staring at the doorway her best friend had just left.

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • citcat
    February 10

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    It had been so long, so long since she had driven through this town. She could still remeber every little nook and cranny.
    ( should be remember)

    "Oh, I though you had actually gotten married," Marissa joked, and was surprised to find herself looking over Aiden's appearence. (should be spelt appearance)

    this was a really well written story and i enjoyed it heaps. i could only spot a few errors which was good...welldone


  • tallblondie gold member
    March 15, 2008

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    Nice chapter. The characters were well introduced and rounded out. Some confusion, however with the statement "the reason she had driven all this way, the occasional death" when in the next paragraph you describe how she is there to visit a friend - at first I thought she was dead until you revealed otherwise. Fairly good grammer, spelling and punctuation, though you have made a consistent error confusing 'you're' with 'your'.

    Stylistically, some improvements could be made. For instance "No, nothing had changed in a decade, except..." - try replacing the commas with hyphens - it will emphasise how everything stayed the same. Be careful with your word choices too. For example "navy heels gave her every look of a woman Aiden didn't know" 'every' doesn't make sense - try something like 'the very' instead - it flows a little easier.

    Additionally, numbers in stories should be spelt eg '6' should be 'six' etc.

    Apart from that, a lovely first chapter that sets the scene beautifully.
    Keep writing!

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


  • Mel-the-Believer
    May 15, 2007
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    Wow! I'm really enjoying reading this. I would defenitely like to read more. God Bless!


    • Hales13
      May 16, 2007
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      thank you =) i havent worked onit in a while, but im going back through all my old stories in a week or so, after i graduate.. i just have been so busy with finals and stuff i havent given much attention to my stories and stuff. But I can promise you that more is on the way. :-)

  • Thabiso76
    April 5, 2007

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    very good

    Iknow it may sound corny but Mellisa has focused on a carrer and forgot about her friends I understand that she was on a carrer war path but it seems she had neally secrifised some of the important things of her life.

    plot: 3, ending: 2, dialog: 3, characters: 2.

    • Hales13
      April 5, 2007
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      yeah, that's the whole point... it becomes clearer deeper into the story..i haven't gotten much past it yet, but soon, i'm hoping...


  • Lokkalozza
    January 12, 2007

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    I loved it!!!!

    I could actually visualise what the townships and the people were like. You constructed the town in the beginning, explained her life and then in the middle went in about her problems. A job well done! I'll give you 3 applauses. 1 for plot, 1 for characters and 1 for the way you've detailed all aspects of the story.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Hales13
      January 13, 2007
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      thank you so much... I thought I'd try something little different... I usually write fantasy stuff.. but, I like this... the story just kind of... popped up out of no where. I love it when they do that.

      • Lokkalozza
        January 14, 2007
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        BloodRedTears66613

        Hey, so did I!!!!! I agree that this is something different. I loved how it didn't take too long to read! I must urge you to atleast view my latest stroke of genious (well, for me anyway) in the form of Falling Deep. I currently have 2 chapters with 2 parts to each chapter. I hope you like it.....please give any useful advice to help me better my present and future chapters. Thankyou
        LokkaLozza


        • Hales13
          January 17, 2007
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          I'll have to check those out! Hopefully I'll have chapter 2 up soon

1 - 10 of 10