New Way to Love

I walked into the hospital, my face dazed. Looking forward, I walked to the front desk, cradling the freshly picked roses carefully in my arm. The white petals didn't look real look really in the bright light, as if they would melt away in with the slight touch of my finger. I touched to check if my fantasy were true, but the the petals stayed as beautiful as before.
1

"Excuse me, Miss," I asked in monotone. The woman at the desk looked up at me and smile with a professional look. 2

"How are you today?" She asked. A smile still stayed on her face.
3

"Great. How about you?" I replied. I sighed loudly, making sure she could hear that I really didn't want to get into conversation. 4

"Fine. Young man, how can I help you today? 5

"I need to see Amelia Smith," I whispered. I wasn't as if I was force to come today, I just could believe I actually came. I really had no feelings, or relations, to this girl. She was a classmate I talked to a few time, but I was requested to come here to represent the class. Even the teachers agreed that I should go. 6

I saw her type on her computer for a few moments. She looked up, shock evident in her face. I wondered why, but never asked her anything. 7

"May I ask who is asking to visit her?" she asked. 8

"My name is Cameron Thompson. I hope you won't tell her the name. I can to surprise her."
9

"Ok," she responded, still the shock laid evident in her face and words. She looked at me with a forced smile and said, "You may sit down. I will have someone come and get you when she is ready." I nodded and walk to a chair. 10

I wondered as I waited, playing with the petals on the beautiful roses once more. Why do I have to wait? Was something wrong with her that she didn't want guests seeing her that way? Or is something else? I waited with these thought on my mind till a nurse walked up to me.
11

"Cameron?" she asked. I she smiled sweetly when I nodded. She took me down a hall, no-one walking anywhere else. We only passed a few doctors, but no visitors. Weird. "We were surprised. I don't think we've ever gotten visitors for someone like her," she said. She seemed depressed as we walked along, but I decided to not ask about it. She told me to turn right and led me to a door. It had the no numbers on it, only the letters M. I wondered what it meant, but decided not to ask again. Who knows? Maybe I wasn't suppose to know. "You can enter. Someone is in there waiting for you." No smile came to her face. She just pointed to the room and left me to go alone.
12

I opened the door to find the room was 20 degrees lower than my body temperature. I shivered from the rush of cold air. Why was she in a cold room? I looked around for a person to talk to, and found someone with a jacket. He walked over to me, slipped the jacket on me, and pointed the way with no words. 13

I followed him through a room with draws. Many draws were covered, but a couple stacked a couple high were the ones we stopped at.
14

"Are you ready?" he asked. I didn't know what to say. Why were we here? I cam to visit Amelia, and I ended up here in this cold room. What were they doing? I just nodded. He grabbed for a drawer, pulling it open. I grasped the roses tight, the cold not good for them. When the drawer opened completely, I didn't understand what I was suppose to see. I saw a sheet covering something, maybe someone. I choked back tears as the man pulled back the curtain to expose the face of Amelia, her features frozen. I stared at her for moments till the man said, "I have something for you. You are Cameron, right?" I nodded. He pulled something out of his pocket and passed it to me.
15

I grabbed the piece of paper from his hand. He nodded, as if giving me permission to read it. I unfolded the paper and read it:16

Dear Cameron,17

I feel as if this is cowardly to do this now. I need to fill you in first though. I knew I was going to die. I was told that I have a horrible disease. I was going to die on the year of my 14th birthday. I told myself not to get attach to anything. I didn't really have any friends till this year. I told Jessica, my best friend, what was wrong with my and she promised that she would never tell.
18

I told myself that I would never fall in love or get attach to anyone, till I met you. I guess I'm just human. I fell for you on the day that you helped me with my problems. I went for student counseling, and you were the person I got. I told you everything. I couldn't hold back. You probably don't remember, but I can't forget the words you told me. You said, "Don't worry. I know that everything will work out in the end. I know it. And if it doesn't, you can talk to me anytime." That changed me. I felt as if I had a curse lifted from me. I thank you.
And I have one more thing to say:19

I Love You20

From your friend,
Amelia21

I stared at the paper, crumpling it in my firm grip. I looked at the roses, thinking about what I should do with them. I walked over to Amelia, pulling out a single rose. I put it in her white hand, gripping her hand in my own. I looked at her face once more. I rubbed her cold face gently and walked away.
22

What I suppose to do? Cry? I didn't know how to react. Why couldn't she have told me her true feelings before? Or never tell them to me? Would I have this twinge of guilt if wouldn't have told me? I didn't know how to feel.
I was confused and disoriented. I walked the school halls for, you could say years, of my life. I just couldn't get over it. I felt like it was my fault. Why?
I walked to her grave everyday after her funeral. I believed I could be forgiven. Everyday I brought a flower. I guess you can call it a hobby. I would go looking for a different flower each day, decorating her tombstone. The weird thing was that everyday the flower was gone. I don't know if the wind blew them away or someone took them. But it came to my routine that I went everyday, gave a flower to her, and ask to be forgiven. If you asked the last time I cried, I would say that I never cry. 23

I dated many girls, but they all dumped me because of how I felt about Amelia. The last one was the worst though. We were in the commons at school. She always asked me who I wanted to be with, and I answered her name. It was routine. I know the answer. No mess ups. 24

"Hey, babe. Who do you always want to be with?" She asked, a sparkle in her eye. She knew the answer quite well.
25

"I," I said pausing. I really knew what I wanted, but I didn't dare say it. Should I? I really didn't know. I held it back every time before. Why not now? I couldn't though. I had been lying enough to her. It was time to tell her the truth I continued, "I really don't want you. I want Amelia."
26

"What?" Her happy face turned into a scowl. She stared in shock. "What does that mean?" 27

"You heard me." She slapped me. Tears flowed in her eyes.
28

"You say it so casually. I can't believe you. You just have no emotion." I just realized that my face hadn't changed. I was talking in monotone as well. "And then you answer with that," she paused, looking for the right word, "thing." 29

"What?" Why was she calling Amelia a thing? 30

"She was an outcast at this school. No one wanted her. It was a blessing she died." I slapped her at this, no emotion being shown on my face. She touched her check, more tears flowing to her eyes. "Why?" My face gave away no answer. She walked away, knowing no answer would come.
I walked out of the school, forgetting all of my things. I didn't care anymore. I wanted to be with her. No matter what.
My door opened with a creak. I walked to the kitchen, grabbed my sleeping pills, and took a couple more than I should have. I walked to my bed, covering myself up in my blanket. I closed my eyes and waited for me and my heart to fall asleep. 31

I awoke in my room. I pulled my light body up, confused. Was I dead? I decided to look out the window. I saw people walking everywhere. I recognized many people from my world before, Earth. They all dressed in white, a dress or suit. I looked at my own clothes and noticed I was wearing a suit of my own. Was I in heaven, or an alternate reality?
I was already out the door. Where could she be? I ran to the place I knew as ours. I saw the gravestones, all in perfect place. I knew exactly where to go. And there she was.
32

I saw the body of an ivory skinned girl, a white, silk dress covering her. All the flowers around her showed that she was more radiant. She smiled at me. No words were needed. She stopped me for a moment as she turned around to dig around in the pile of beautiful flowers. She grabbed out a single rose, white in color. She handed it to me. It looked as if it would melt in my hand. I recognized it immediately. It was the first rose I gave her in the hospital. Nothing had changed about it. The others I had brought home were dead, withered. This one looked vibrant, radiant. I looked to her eyes for answers. She just stared at me. A wind picked up, ruffling her dress. It made me inch closer to her, going to my knees. I just noticed the pink of her lips. They looked soft as she licked them with her tongue. She smiled as I came even closer. I feel victim to her eyes, the color odd. Baby blue, her eyes became more beautiful as I moved my face closer. I came so close, our noses almost touched. She closed her silky eyes in reaction. 33

And we kissed.34