A Deadily Addiction

My eyes seemed so heavy, I could barely open them up to this setting of chaos. I wanted to stay in my harm free world but then my heart beat broke in, faster and faster. I ticked like a bomb about to explode and then it hit. My first dose of this deadly addiction. It coursed through my veins cold, seeping into every nerve. It was like magic. It took away my pain, fear, and worries. I was numbed by it and in ah. I became a slave to its power. When the excitement of this new feeling settled in my mind, I lifted my head high, took a deep breath, and gave the OK. The feeling flooded me as quick as it came. My muscles started jerking unimaginably. Everything that I had known zoomed away, and my attention came to that ticking sound, squeals of desire arose and my heart beat-ed faster, drowning my ears in its echoes, and then it was done. I laid in pride, proud of the pain I felt. Everything was stinging so bad it was numb. I got up, the blood was like thick acid on my skin but it felt good. It was over, but the screaming was yet to subside. It seemed to last forever though, because that was the only sound I could hear over and over again. When I was up ready for another shot of that mysterious thing I felt before, my limbs turned to rubber but I walked away with the biggest ego in the world. My heart was on fire with this new thrill. I craved its pain , and blood, and dust, and roaring crowds, but most of all the pride. My mind grew restless thinking about how many seconds it will be until my next test tasting of life. But when it came it wasn't as before. Nothing came to take away my pain and fear . I was left with it not knowing what to do with it! I became overwhelmed and everything seemed to scare me even more. My eyes widened to a site of something I've never truly felt before.... Loss... My entire body froze to ice, petrified, they picked up the pieces of the broken me and glued them back on in action form. I kept trying to reach out for some guidance but it never came. I was quiet on the outside but my mind was screaming inside. There I sat, glued to a skyscraper where the world will be my landing plate. When everything got loose, my worst’s fears, broke through their chains and came running for me. They grabbed one half of me and threw the other to my fate. I looked around in amazement. I felt pain, sure, but it was not meaningful... I didn't make it meaningful. I lay in pieces,and nobody stirs. No echoing, nothing but shame overshadowing my pride. It locked me up with now where to run. I watched as they shattered the dwindling pieces of me hope, my dreams, and determination. I was left with nothing. No way to endure that feeling, addiction. If you can't feed an addiction it grows stronger and if it grows stronger...It never goes away...So here I am now, $21,000 later and some pretty good tattoos of scars long ago felt. I’ve been stripped of everything i have. My chances have been injected into a string holding me high above a cannon of hope..