It could happen to you.

As I entered the party I could smell the stench of alcohol. This place reeked! I wanted to dance but I just got there so I decided to go and talk to Peter, the guy who had invited me. I walked over to him and smiled politely. "Did you come over just to smile or did you come to talk?" This made me giggle. I told him thanks for inviting me to the party and that I was having a good time. One thing led to another and in a few minutes we were dancing together.

When the song we were dancing to ended he pulled me close and asked if I wanted to go somewhere more private and "get to know each other". I softly agreed recalling all the movies I had seen where this part had ended badly. I knew that that wouldn't, or even couldn't happen to me. He grabbed his keys and told me to follow him outside.

I did exactly as he said. Like his little soldier I followed his commands. We drove until we came to a worn down apartment complex. We slowly made our way up the stairs to the third floor. He asked if I wanted to watch a few movies and I agreed to that as well.

Sitting on the sofa watching Titanic I couldn't help but look at him. He was so cute. He was also really sweet to me. Although I had just met him I could already feel myself falling for him. He seemed so perfect. So flawless. He turned and caught me staring, but he raised his hand to my cheek and stroked it sllightly with his soft warm hand. I could feel myself tensing up. He leaned in for a kiss and I let him have it. I knew it was wrong. I knew he was too old for me. He was in college and i was only a Sophmore in high school.

He told me to follow him and that he had something to show me. I did as he commanded, once again. He took me through the kitchen into his bedroom. I sat down on his bed with a slight bounce. he turned on a black light and kind of grinned. I still wasn't suspicious of this so called perfect man's intentions. He went and turned the overhead light off and walked over to me. He stroked my cheek again. Then my hair and down to my arm. I pulled him close and kissed him, but then pulled away coming into slow realization of what was going on. I had to get away. I stood and tried to walk out of the room but he stood in front of the door.

"Where do you think your going? We're not done in here, I still have to show you that surprise."

I tried and tried again to get away but he was bigger and stronger than me. I was so scared I began to shake a little. This wasn't really happening to me was it? No. It couldn't be. It could never happen to me. It only really happens in the movies.

He pushed me down onto the bed. I began to violently shake and cry. He grabbed a condom from the nightstand nearby and then it all happened. In that instant rape became so real.

I was bleeding and crying when it was all over. He looked at me with a sly grin on his face and asked,"Was it as fun for you as it was for me?" This made the crying worse. He slapped me in the mouth to silence me. I turned the loud cries into muffled sobs. What the master says the servant girl must do. I couldn't help but think that this was all my fault. I threw myself at him. It was me, not him. He's so perfect it couldn't have been him.

He drove me home a quarter past twelve. My make-up was running down my face along with the silent sobs. I felt so pathetic. Before I got out of the car he looked at me with that smug face again and said in a solemn but threatening voice,"If you tell anybody, you know what i'll do."

When I got inside the house I ran upstairs to the bathroom and decided to take a shower. I felt so filthy. Like a dirty slut, or something. I turned the hot water on and stepped inside. It felt like a thousand tiny needles piercing through my skin. It felt good in a way though. Almost therapeutic. As I cried some more I finally figured out what I had to do. I had to die. It was all my fault. All my fault. I had to die. It was the only way out of the pain, and guilt.

I slowly snuck into my parents room and grabbed my dad's Zanex medication for depression. When I snatched it I ran up to my room and threw them onto my bed. I went back downstairs to get something to drink as I walked back up my little sister came out of her room.

"Hey, can you come read to me?" How could I turn her down. She looked up to me. I decided to do her this one last favor. Who knew she'd be returning it?

So after I read to her I went into my room and opened the bottle of pills. I spilled thirty-two into my hand and gulped them down one-by-one. I spilled a few more into my hand and took those as well. I went to lay down for awhile and then suddenly everything became black.

I woke up in a hospital room. My throat hurt and felt as if someone had sliced through it with a knife. Upon opening my eyes I could see my whole family surrounding me. I thought I may be in Heaven but then I knocked that thought when my mother burst into tears and wrapped me in a hug.

"Mom, we have to talk. Alone. I have something really important to tell you and all I want you to do is listen. Ok?"

"Ok, honey," she said as she cleared the room,"what's on your mind?"

"It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. I shouldn't have done this but it was the only way out. The only way I could get away from my stupid self. I ruined everything. I threw myself at him. That's why he raped me Ma'. He's not mean. I just threw myself at him."

She looked at me again with tears in her eyes,"Who did it? Who? Why didn't you just tell me? I would have listened. I love you so much and when I came to your room to check on you I thought that my little girl was gone forever. I was ready to kill myself."

"Peter Hunning. That's who, mom. Peter Hunning."

Peter Hunning was sentenced five years in the state penatentary. He's out now obviously but at least I got justice.