Why didn't you choose me?

This is the story of a girl, a boy, and a love that can never be remade through forgiveness. Do you believe that are not? Imagine yourself in this boyfriend and you have been coming apart by the seams, your love fading from your body. You fell in love with him at first eye, but soon, he takes you for granted. Why? I don't know. Read on.1

I walked down the sidewalk, wiping the tears from my eyes. I thought about what I had just seen. More tears flew from my eyes. I ran down the sidewalk. I passed the old bookstore. Many memories became clear as I ran past. I refused to try to remember, but my mind recalled. I remember him buying me my first copy of Love is beautiful, waiting till one in the morning in line just to see my face when he gave it to me the next morning. He smiled at me, the rain dripping off of his hair. I ran for him, thanking him for my gift. He clutched me for warmth and whispered in my ear "I love you". This was the first time he said those words to me. "I love you," he said again.2

I passed the next place that flashed though my mind: a pizza place. I remembered or date last week. We had just had a fight. I pouted in the corner booth as he brought out pizza. He talked to me as if nothing happened. I ignored him. He shook his head and spoke low so only I can hear. "I know we have our differences, but can't you love me for who I am." I ignored him again. He slipped into my side of the booth. He stared at me asking for some answer. He sighed, bringing his hand to his forehead. "I love you. But I don't want to love someone that doesn't love me back." He stood up and walked away. I watched his back and whispered, wishing he would hear, "I love you, too. But, how can I love you when you just walk away?"3

I stopped at the bridge. It was a good twenty yards above the water. I stopped to look at the whirlpools down below and all the rocks. I imagined myself and the rocks colliding, the pain equal to my broken heart. "Stop!" I looked behind me and I saw him. He was breathing deep, as if he had been running behind me the whole time. I didn't believe that to be true. "Go away you bastard!" I yelled. He stepped forward. "I will never leave you!! I don't want to!" He yelled to me, walking closer. I stepped away. "Don't you come closer." I gripped the handle bars on the bridge, blood coming from the sharp edge. "I would rather die than come near you!" "Don't say that!" He said, walking closer. "I don't know how I could live, or love, without you here." "Why should I believe that?" I asked. "Your love should give you that trust." A gentle breeze pushed our clothes around our bodies. I remembered the most recent memory in my mind. 4

I walked into the room, shuffling off my jacket. I hung it up on the hanger. My dead body draped over me. I slumped into the living room. I had just had a long day of work and I was waiting for my boyfriend to come home. "Are you here?" I called as I walked into the living room. No one was there. I walked up the bedroom. I needed to change. I sighed, opening the door. I looked in and saw something horrible: my boyfriend was in my bed with my sister. They were both on top of each other when they saw me just staring. "What are you doing here? I thought you worked till later?" He asked. He buttoned up is shirt. "I got off early." I answered, tears starting to flow from my eyes. "To see you." I ran away through the door, closing my heart as I slammed the door.5

And now here I stood, on the bridge, with my heart torn in two and my boyfriend begging me back. We stared at each other till he spoke. "Don't try anything!" I didn't know what he was talking about until I was standing on the handle, on the edge of the bridge. "Why shouldn't I?" I said, staring him down till I turned to the sea. I watch the water rush around the area as he spoke. "I love you. I need you! Please don't do anything. I beg of you." I looked at him, sadness and hate for himself in his eyes. "Then why?" I said. He know what I meant, but he didn't answer. "See. You really don't love me." I looked to the ocean again. "Please, forgive me." He begged. Then the sea was my last choice. I couldn't stand to be near him any longer. I moved closer to the rocks. "Stop!" He yelled, running closer to me. My instinct pushed me over the edge. "Please. No!!"6

I don't remember much. My memories rushed blank besides the rush of the air in my face, the cold water as it hit my skin, and the sound of my boyfriend's voice as he yelled at me as I flew to the ocean. His voice also came to my mind, the ocean only touched my feet and my body laid on the sand and his lap. This was after I had jumped to my grave. I was surprised I wasn't dead, but I held on anyways. He was holding me, he's hand cold like the ocean salt as he rubbed my face. He spoke softly into my ear, laying his head on my shoulder. "I love you. Please, hear this." I listened with my last breath. "I love you and that will never change. But, I need a thrill sometimes. You are a constant thrill, but I need something more. You are not enough. I'm sorry, but you aren't." A tear landed on my cheek, burning my skin with it's warmth. "I love you. Please, if you love me too, forgive me." He held me closer, tears flowing from his eyes. I finally slowed my breath and spoke, "I love you, but never enough to forgive you." 7

Those were the last words I said and heard. Before I left this world, I remember the people crying over me, but not me. Was I a ghost? Was I a spirit? Was I suppose to be there and this was me punishment? Who knows. All I know is that I my heart was broken. A broken heart can be taped, glued, and stapled, but never made new. That is my motto.8