Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-marked love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.”
-William Shakespear-
Romeo and Juliet, they used to make kids read that shit in secondary school...Used to. We used to do a lot of things before they took over, and by they I mean the KWAME’s and their leader Caleb Verzion. I wasn’t born then but my dad was. He’s actually the reason why Caleb is dead now, but a new Sentinel took over before everyone was free. You see, the KWAME’s are normal people like you and me who have been turned into slaves with cybernetic upgrades. From there they are trained and used in the the army which over took Green Mesa(the planet which I call home.) They haven’t touched they other Mesa’s...But they will. They KWAME’s are controlled by a Sentinel, which is why we thought we had won when we killed Caleb...But every so often new ones are trained so they can carry on....I’ve heard that life was pretty nice before The Red Flag came and destroyed it all....But Shakespear said it himself.....Hate always conquers Love.....Always....
Green Mesa------23 years ago
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Yeah it was pretty good, grammaticly you could use some help. When describing the KWAME's it seemed more like reading a list for a little bit try describing theses things instead of just telling about it, maybe even with hold some information for later in the story. I really like the approach of how you're starting this story, still it can use some fine tuning. Overall it can become a very good write.
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