The Reason

1

The Reason 2

With a feeling of determination, she pressed the print button.  She sat in front of her monitor, with all the exhilaration of a boxer after winning a fight that they know they deserved.  She smiled to herself, thinking everything would be all right.  He did love her- she knew it.  Somewhere, inside, he still loved her.  And somehow, she knew how to make it all right.  When the lyrics to the song were done printing, she signed “thank you” on the bottom, and put it in her bag for tomorrow.  She would make everything all right between them, she could, and she would…3

[I'm sorry that I hurt you4

It's something I must live with everyday]5

She woke up in the morning, feelings of determination still set in their rightful place.  She dutifully got ready, and headed out, prepared to face the day, because she would make everything all better, she could, and she knew that she would…6

[I never meant to do those things to you]7

The day went by in a blur.  First period, second, third, fourth- one big massive jumble.  He consumed her every thought, her every breath, movement, and feeling.  She glimpsed him, her heart soared.  He hugged her, she sank lower than was humanely possible.  The tables seemed to have turned, and yet now he had her on a shelf, with the capability to tip he either way, depending on her mood.  He can make her blissfully happy, yet to her, sometimes it seems he gets a kick out of seeing her hurt.  But in the end, none of that matters, because she would make everything all better, she could, and she knew that no matter what she would…8

[I've found a reason for me9

To change who I used to be10

A reason to start over new11

and the reason is You]12

Finally, the end of the day.  She knew she would see him, and that made all the difference in the world.  No matter what happened, he made all the difference in the world.  She spied him over by the edge of the lawn, but she didn’t want to seem too eager.  So she surrounded herself with people who called themselves her friends, with friends who considered themselves her enemy.  Slowly she worked her way down the eager faces of facades who considered themselves human, until she was face to face with him.  She smiled at him, all the pent up energy, desire, hatred, sadness, wanting, need, jealousy- all of it showing on her face.  She was his, and she finally realized that.  She gave herself to him, for him to love, hold, and trust.  She trusted him, with everything she had, and she finally knew it.  She would make this all right, she could, and damn well she would…13

[I've found a reason to show14

A side of me you didn't know]15

He smiled back at her, and she knew it was complete.  She would make everything all right, she could, she would, and she did. He turned his face, and smiled at someone else, and in that instant, she knew it was all a lie.  He didn’t love her, and all that remained from the love that once was- was a hug, a hello, an awkward friendship.  She stood there, the smile only remaining because it was forced- letting it slip would be sign of weakness, that she had given herself to him, and lost.  That she had given her trust to him, and lost.  Given herself to him, and lost.  He could make everything all better, he should, he could- but he didn’t.  He only made her hurt, more and more, with every day that passed.  Seeing him was only tearing open a wound that wouldn’t heal.  16

[And all the pain I put you through17

I wish that I could take it all away]18

So she stood there, in front of him, taking the lyrics out of her bag which she had so determinedly printed out for him the night before.  And she smiled once again, the bitter, forced smile that she’s grown to accustomed too.  And before his eyes, ripped the paper to shreds, staring at him blatantly.  Putting the shreds back in her bag, she turned her back to him, and walked away.  He could make everything better, she knew.  He could, but he wouldn’t.  Love is just a lie to get rid of the boredom on fidelity, she now realizes.  Her love doesn’t matter.  He could make everything all better.  He could, he should- but he didn't.  And it's funny.  She no longer expected him too.  19

”I'm not a perfect person20

There's many things I wish I didn't do21

But I continue learning22

I never meant to do those things to you23

And so I have to say before I go24

That I just want you to know25

I've found a reason for me26

To change who I used to be27

A reason to start over new28

and the reason is you29

I'm sorry that I hurt you30

It's something I must live with everyday31

And all the pain I put you through32

I wish that I could take it all away33

And be the one who catches all your tears34

That’s why I need you to hear35

I've found a reason for me36

To change who I used to be37

A reason to start over new38

and the reason is You [x4]39

I'm not a perfect person40

I never meant to do those things to you41

And so I have to say before I go42

That I just want you to know43

I've found a reason for me44

To change who I used to be45

A reason to start over new46

and the reason is you47

I've found a reason to show48

A side of me you didn't know49

A reason for all that I do50

And the reason is you”51