*Actually elves do exist, they just don't caome around people," Liam replied in a cool tone.*
She heard the tone and relized she had offended him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." Snow said a little sad that she had made him mad at her. She thought he would be like everyone else and never want to speak to her again because of what she'd said. "Thats okay, you didn't know," Liam said in a soft forgiving tone. She smiled at him and she was surprised when she got a smile in return. "Anyways Liam is going to help you learn to access and use your powers." Nathan said still holding onto her hand. "My powers? What are you talking about, powers? I don't have any powers." Both Liam and Nathan looked at her. "Yes you do." Nathan replied letting go of her hand. "Have you ever been really mad or felt some really strong emotion, and then what ever you wished came true?" Liam asked looking into her eyes. "Yes, but whats that got to do with anything. Its just a coinsidence." Snow said feeling a little uneasy. "No it wasn't. it was an ancient power thats chosen to be yours. Its only unlocked when you loose control of your emotions or when you can learn to master the power itself." Liam said sitting down on the ground and pulling her down to sit next to him. Nathan sat down on her other side.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Sweet... keep it up, can't wait for the next installment... nice job, Caylie
DarkOne -
Intriguing
I'd like to read more of this story. You should look into using spell-checker with a few of your little mistakes. They're things that almost every writer does (I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few in here), and they are too common to continue to overlook. There were only a couple in your story, though, things like "loose" instead of lose, and "relized" instead of realized. all together, though, this story is really good and has a great plot. If you ever add a little more, you should contact me and let me know exactly how to find it.
Peace out,
Me...
beginning: 3, language: 1, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
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Hmmm... I like it so far. Though it seemed a little stiff in the beginning. It is going great keep it up!! I hope I get to read more!! ~Night Queen
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Power and e-motion.
Our emotions do set into motion things I do believe. We all have powers. I can remember when my cousins Randy and Drucilla taught me mine. I have been writing ever since. I think it is better to write out ya power than turn it loose on my friends and enemies. Smile.


