….Another day, another dollar truly was not my only reason to work. I loved my job, because it was my dream to become a nurse and help other people. Just something I always wanted to do.
….Working in the restorative unit of one of the largest hospitals in Erie, Pa. It was hard work, on my feet 8 to 12 hours each shift. After a long day all I wanted to do was relax, with nice hot bath.
….When I got home I would listen to my messages from callers. There is was again that sweet, kind voice of Jack.
I listen to his words, telling me to relax, unbutton that uniform, kick off my shoes, slide my pants down and to look in the mirror.
Strange as it seems I did all that he had said. Standing in the bathroom almost nude. I looked in the mirror, and there he was behind me. I could feel his presence, his touch, and that way he removed my bra. Letting my two big orbs of firm softness free. He told me to close my eyes and I did.
I heard my bath running he said, “The temp is just right.” Then he pulled down my panties and caressed my womanly mound sending me into wanton need for him.
When I turned to face him no one was there. Where did my lover go? This was so real, I could feel his presents. I stepped into the nice warm tub, and the water seem to reach up and embrace my bottom. That’s when I knew, he was the water. Warm almost hot, he was everywhere. All over me, making love to me. I put my hand over his hand, and with a slow motion, I rubbed his hand pressing hard on my savory middle.
We were intertwined in the water, I could hear my self asking Jack for more, and he gave it to me. The penetration of his thickness, the hardness moving like a white tiger devouring his prey.
As I screamed my completion, and the water started to chill, I sat there nipples harden, wondering what it would be like if Jack was real.
One day I will come across this luscious man and lay in a tub of water with him. I shall with all my feminine curves, tantalized the white tiger, making him moan as I do each time he takes a bath with me after work.
She awaken in the tub, cold and refreshed.
Damm! I wish this was not a dream. It’s always when I work super hard Jack comes to waltz me away, far way so I can rest.
Jack you are the water in my bath, come dance with me again and again………
Author notes
This about a hard working nures's fantasy lover, that she wishes him to be real....
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I'm not sure if you know Zalman King's "Red Shoe Diaries," but this reminds me of one of the episodes where her fish turns into a lover...guess like the water became Jack.
Ted E
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I was thrown off by the beginning of the story. I thought it was going to be a nurse/hospital piece.
Line 7 - presents should be presence
I don't understand something here. The nurse wishes he was real but the voice of Jack left a message on her answering machine, right? So why doesn't she pick up the phone and invite him over?
The concept of the story is good but I wasn't captured by it.
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that works for me
it has wonderful elements, desire and seduction and a passion filled encounter always wanting more and the complete freedom of a fantasy... PK
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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great job
i liked it i thought it was interesting, my kind of talk (lol), but anyways keep up the good work -
I loved it. It seemed real but the ending added a twist.
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This started out well, but didn't seem to tell a story, per se. It was more a fantasy than a story which is fine. I guess I thought that this could have been longer and more detailed than it was. I liked the story, but it ended before it seemed it should have and it seemed it could have been longer. You should consider revising this and expanding on the fantasy and elaborating a little more and then have the main character wake up from her dream. I just thought that this could have been longer. Everything else about it is fine, though. I did like your plot line and story development as it was. It should be more complicated though.
By the way, the word "presence" is mispelled and also the word "intertwined." Other than that, everything else seemed fine. Good job.
John Carney
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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WOW
What a nice story about a woman's fantasy. It lets a man in on the feelings of a woman. Somehow, it's wonderful; tasteful too. (Unless someone objects to the descriptions) I don't. Fills me with pleasure just reading about it. I hope she does meet her "Jack". They'll both get what they deserve! LOL. Walt.
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Peeking in on ya bath time.
They say that a lady's bath time is her element of recreation. That she gets made anew in all those bubbles and fragrances. I like the way ya make the bath everything that a lover could be. I have never looked at bathing in this way. But I do prefer a bath to a shower most any day. I like to relax in the water myself. And only take a shower when I am in a rush. I do believe that you will one day find him. I believe someday that you will find ya real Jack.
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Well written. I am gonna admit that m/f isn't my cup of tea, but this is very sexy, very appealing even to me. I also forgot to check for spelling errors. [shame on me!]
I love how you ended the peice.
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WolfWalker
Thanks for reading my story, Its more like safe sex, and a very tried lady..lol..novy
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