As the first of the year came and went, I witnessed a sizable increase in the duration of daylight, and, in a most direct correlation, those bitter winds on frigid nights. Spending my time in the barn, I labored intensely on projects of mechanical complexity. Several long metallic beams had fallen out of place, threatening to violently dismantle the delicate components of the core architecture.
To achieve a temperature more tolerable than cruel winter would allow, I lit the furnace and prepared for due heat. Finally, I was nearing completion of the undertaking which had furiously seized my being and drove me to crazed obsession. I had invented a device so revolutionary, so genius, that the concept of its workings would defy all logical explanation. I had invented a machine capable of producing an infinite number of minute changes to the local atmosphere, cumulatively amounting to an enormous effect on both the weather and the composition of free floating air.
If citizens of nearby villages plan to escape with their lives, they will pay me a ransom, which is, by circumstance, to be assigned. Who will stop me when I possess the power to dominate every opportunity? Not one out of millions can exert any authority over my supreme existence! The entire world shall be required to conform to my ideals! The creation of a new army has a great way of persuading those who would oppose me to stop dead in their tracks. With an iron hand I would strike fear into the fabric of their souls, demanding a respect so great that they would be comparatively insignificant. My superiority is even surprising to myself! Highest among the ranks of the intellectually enlightened I reside, my level of worth increasing with rapidity after every passing second. Who are they to go about their lives in peace? Their laziness is astounding! Under my rule, a system of strict and rigid structure will be put in place. Society shall become as perfect as one of my genius inventions! Mechanical precision will thrive and all pieces shall have specific purpose. Any remaining shreds of inefficiency will be thrown out the window as we approach the dawn of a new and glorious era. All individuals will merge in a harmonious existence and I, as your dictator, promise to control every aspect of your life down to the smallest detail. Follow me and I will give you a life better than you’ve ever imagined. A life of pure bliss and undying ecstasy!
A contest entry
- Let's Play A Game... by MischiefMayhemSoap.
413 points, ended April 22, 2007, 28 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
For the intro, I noticed a huge chunk of sizeable words – while I am a fan of intelligence, I am always slightly put off by needless verbosity. However, as you can plainly see, before the end of the story I become used to the writing style and somehow subconsciously incorporate it into the review as well.
I don't really understand this, or – perhaps it is that I don't quite understand why this character believes that it is so easy to take control of the world by simply altering the weather. I personally think that this story would be more effective if you did not tell us what exactly you would do to take over the world, or at least think of something less mundane than weather alteration.
My apologies if I chance to offend you – I wish you luck in my contest as well as any other contests you may happen to enter.
-
I love it. It reminds me of a modern Edgar Allen Poe story. You shouldn't end there, keep going with it. The irony was great, I couldn't really tell how successful his plan would actually be. The reader can really feel the intensity of his arrogance. Reading stories where the emotion is apparent and easy to reach out and touch is so much more fun than reading a story full of little details but no imagery or emotion. Good Job, very creative.
-
It's Mind.
I tend to suffer from rigid thought patterns so this piece was good for me. I tend to think these thoughts each day. I think that everything should have a place and be in its place. I come from a chaotic family background and use order as an obsession to strive for. It would take a mad genius to restore order to the world.
I am convinced if you could take air-conditioning away from the world or control it that you could dominate the world. I would name the character of this piece Napalmoleon. Smile.
-
I find there's no character description, nothing to really show what is driving the character. All I'm able to get from the character is arrogance, nothing more which is a little disappointing, as if I'm following the story idea, then the idea could be expanded into something really fascinating. Thanks for posting this and if you expanded it please let me know I'd love to see what you do with it.
I enjoyed the thought process of the character, the inner workings of it's mind. Welcome to SW.
Adding your comment:
