According to the Flamboyants in Black

Derek

“No Matt,” I said pushing the tall and lanky Matt away from me “I really am too tired for this.”

“Aw,” Matt mocked pushing me backwards onto my bed “I bet I can get you going.” He brought his head down to my neck and began to lick.

“Matt seriously, I had a long day,” I groaned and tried to push him away, but he used all of his weight to stay on me. He brought his lips to mine and slid his tongue into my mouth. We fought with our tongues to gain dominance, I quickly gave up and Matt’s tongue explored my mouth. He used his hands to keep a lot of his weight off of me, but he let his pelvis sag which fell on top of mine. Every time we went to go get air, it would rub against me. He pulled back for a moment.

“I knew I could get you going,” he smirked at me “Now I don’t feel like it.”

“Tease,” I grumbled and gave me a mammoth smile “Now get back here I want to kiss you.” I pulled him close to me and turned around so he was on the bottom. I gave myself the exact same position he had been in earlier, but purposely put more weight on my hips.

“Now I get it,” he mumbled between kisses and his hands fled up my shirt.

Then came the sound of my alarm clock. I slammed my fist down onto the off button and groaned to myself. This was the third time this week I’ve dreamt about Matt. I mean for Christ’s sake, he didn’t even know my name. How the heck was I supposed to make this dream come true. I cursed aloud and got out of bed. I saw my reflection in the mirror I had on the other side of my room. I had forgotten to take my make-up off from the previous day and had black smeared around my eyes. My black hair was messy and drifted towards my right, covering my right eye. My pale skin looked deadly. I pushed in my blue contacts over my hazel eyes. I walked over to my closet and pulled out the first things I found which were the following: black girl pants, a long sleeved black and white striped shirt, a three row white studded belt and all black high-tops. I walked out of my dimly lit room into the brightness of the house. The walls were all bright colors, like a morning sunrise, sickening me.

“Derek, Melissa made breakfast for you and your rides here,” my dad said as if nothing had happened, again, while sitting at the counter.

“Tell her I say thanks,” I grumbled Melissa was my dad’s girlfriend, my mom had caught my dad cheating on her and they got a divorce lickety split. I grabbed the popped toast, my backpack and was out the front door where Justin was waiting for me in his car. He had a white VW Beetle, but he drew all over with graffiti, making it look like puke in my opinion, but that was something Justin liked so it was okay by me.

“Hey Derek, who you wanna listen to today?” he asked when I jumped into the front seat, but I knew he already had made up his mind about who to listen so I just shrugged.

“Suicide Machines it is,” he plopped in the C.D. When you got into his car, you had no idea what kind of music he would be listening to. Some days it was a techno beat the next day Gwen Steffani. I smiled and bobbed my head with the beat. Justin was a great guy, the first person I’ve ever told I was gay. He supported me all the way, under one condition I would never crush on him other then that, he was really cool about it.

“I had the same dream again,” I admitted as the song switched to the next.

“The one about Matt?” he asked turning. In a few minutes we would arrive at our highschool where Matt went too. He had a locker right next to mine and I planned out the whole day so I would be able to see him every time he would go back to his locker, I’d be fiddling with something in my locker. Doing this often made me late for class, but just to see him got my giddy. It was always worth it.

“Yeah, I can’t get him out of my head,” I told Justin “He’s just so flippin’ cute!”

“Um. . . sure,” Justin said lowering the music and turned into the parking lot of hell a.k.a. Westland High.

“I don’t know what to do,” I shook my head getting out of the car after he parked it.

“Just ask him out,” Justin said not paying attention as a few cute girls walked by us.

“If it were only that easy,” I grumbled “Later Justin.” I walked away from him as he decided to follow the girls. I worked my way past the crowd of people and over to my locker. Matt was standing next to his locker listening to a blue C.D. player which fit snugly in his tight black jeans. I walked to my locker and could hear his music, it was Atreyu playing, to be more specific the song Bleeding Mascara. I had put in the combination of my lock and had opened my door when one of the people who made my life a living hell slammed into my back knocking me against the locker.

“Get in there,” the voice said, I recognized this as bully #4 the male blond who played on the football team. I turned around to see just who I expected.

“How nice of you to bully me, yet again,” I said with a smile.

“Shut up!” bully #4 yelled, I had no idea what his name was, and pushed me into my locker.

“Just because I fit so nicely doesn’t mean I should be in here!” I screamed as Bully #4 slammed the door shut. Surprisingly this wasn’t my first time trapped in a locker. One time I had to wait over two hours in the small space, good thing I’m not afraid of small spaces. I began to pound harshly on the locker when I saw Matt’s soft brown eyes through the small slits.

“What’s the com?” he asked in his soft super sweet voice.

“Uh. . .” my mind went blank I couldn’t think of it.

“You did open this locker didn’t you?” he asked and I pictured him asking it with a smirk even though I couldn’t see his whole face.

“32-18-28,” I said hoping I was right, otherwise I would look even stupider then I already did. I heard the click and was relieved when I was able to step out of the locker.

“Thanks,” I said smiling, uncontrollably.

“You okay?” he asked laughing and pushing his shaggy black hair out of his eyes.

“Dandy,” I smiled wider, I was talking to him! I was talking to Matt Green! ME! I WAS SPEAKING TO THE GUY I’VE (literally) BEEN DREAMING ABOUT!

“You’re weird,” he stated.

“That’s good right?” I asked with a smile, suddenly all this extra confidence came to from out of nowhere “Anyways thank you so much. I probably would have been in there for a long time if you didn’t unlock it.”

“No problem,” he said.

“Thanks, gotta go!” I squealed jumping up and kissing his cheek. I didn’t even think about it, I just did it. Either I just ruined everything or he would get the hint I like him and he would tell me he liked me back! Yeah, right like that would happen, I thought to myself as I ran out of the building. I got to tell Justin about this, I said in my head as I slipped unnoticed off the premises.

Matt

Did that really just happen? I asked myself as I walked dazed away from where I unlocked and freed that cute Emo kid from his locker.

“No, that’s not possible,” I said aloud as I walked into my class.

“Mr. Green you’re late. Take a seat,” I sat in my seat next to the window and stared at the cars outside.

“Mr. Green because you’re late I’ll let you do your speech first,” my teacher Mr. Mimers. I cursed aloud I had left the speech in my locker because I was distracted by that Emo kid.

“I don’t got it, but I think I remember enough to go with out the paper is that okay?” I asked standing up.

“Of course not,” Mr. Mimers said calmly “No paper equals a “F.”

“Fine,” I grumbled siting back down, I had barely worked on that speech anyways so it probably sucked. That thought quickly slipped away from my mind as I saw the same Emo kid slip away from the school hiding behind cars as he worked his way off the school’s property.

“Oh. Mr. Green, this is the four missing assignment, an automatic detention. Today after school until four,” Mr. Mimers ordered.

“Whatever,” I said watching the cute kid vanish away from my eye sight.

Derek

I was caught when I tried to sneak back into the school by the horrid Mr. Mimers and received a two week sentence. The bell rang as meaning the end of the day and I ran right to my locker. I had to get there fast if I wanted to see Matt by our lockers. I gave a relieved sigh when I saw him unlocking his locker. I walked towards my own and fiddled with the lock. I tried opening it, but it didn’t open.

“32-18-28, I think,” I heard Matt’s voice said and heat brushed over my cheeks. I tried his numbers and it magically opened.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, I let my hair fall in front of my face because I had another huge smile creeping on my face. HE SPOKE TO ME, AGAIN!

“I’m sorry, I’m Matt Green. And you are?” Matt asked holding out a hand, after brushing his semi-long hair out of his eyes.

“D-Derek Barker,” I stuttered and shook his hand. It was warm and soft, just like it was in the dream I had.

“I’d stay longer, but I have a detention to serve,” Matt sighed.

“Yeah me too,” I put the books I used earlier in the locker and grabbed my backpack.

“Later,” he said and walked away from me. My hand immediately shot to my cell phone where I called Justin.

“Justin!” I yelled happily into the phone when I thought he answered.

“Der- do you even need a ride home. I’ve been waiting,” he said.

“I got detention, but. . .” I squealed cheerfully and began skipping to Mr. Mimers room.

“Out with it,” Justin commanded, annoyance in his voice.

“I got stuck in my locker this morning and Matt got me out! The Matt! And I talked with him and I just spoke with him! He’s so cute and he talked to ME! ME!” I screamed into the phone.

“Okay,” Justin said I heard his music in the background, it was Sugarcult.

“I’m so happy, I don’t even care that I have detention!”

“Um . . .”

“I got to go, I reached the detention room of hell. Holy crap!” I shouted opening the door and saw Matt sitting on the other side of the room.

“What?” Justin asked eagerly from the other end.

“I got to go, later,” I smiled and skipped into a desk. I hung up on Justin who was scream what?

“Mr. Barker,” Mr. Mimers said from his desk “That was one of the first time I’ve heard anyone say hell and holy so close together.” I blushed embarrassed.

“No talking I have papers to grade,” Mr. Mimers said not looking up from his desk. I put my head on the desk and closed my eyes. I heard Matt’s pencil scrape away at a piece of paper. Then I felt something hit my head. I opened the crumpled paper.

What’d you do to get detention? I scribbled down my answer and threw the paper back at Matt.

What’d you do to get detention?

Got caught skipping

You got to be careful, mr. Ass has good eyes. I wrote my return and threw the paper at him, he chuckled as he read my answer.

What’d you do to get detention?

Got caught skipping

You got to be careful, mr. Ass has good eyes

His eyes suck but ur right hes the biggest and worsest ass ever

Great grammar.

Jeeze your just dissin’ everyone!

“Mr. Green, give me the note,” Mr. Mimer ordered. Matt looked up at Mr. Mimer. The teacher’s gray hair was falling away quick giving him a nice bald spot.

“Did I stutter?” the teacher asked.

“Actually I really didn’t hear you,” Matt said mocking him while ripping the note up.

“Whatever, you both are dismissed. I just can’t handle you two,” Mr. Mimers groaned angrily.

“Thanks for getting me out of detention,” I squealed happily skipping over to Matt where he was collecting his backpack.

“Really, I was actually just doing it for me,” Matt laughed.

“Well, I’m happy and you know what the best part is? My dad thinks I have it all week so I am so totally free after school,” I said trying to give him the hint I liked him.

“So uh, my parents don’t expect me home till much later, you wanna go somewhere?” Matt asked his cheeks were beginning to blush.

“Just hurry up and get out of here!” yelled Mr. Mimers, I forgot we were still in his room. I didn’t realize I was doing this, but I grabbed Matt’s hand and pulled him right out of the room.

“Jeeze, slow down. Your going to kill me,” Matt said with heavy breaths. I hadn’t realized I had pulled him all the way to the school’s main door.

“Fine,” I sighed and loosened my grip on his hand. He didn’t let go! My head shouted at me, he didn’t let go and we’re at a normal walking speed now! HE DIDN’T LET GO! My head went dizzy and I stumbled on the ground. I closed my eyes I felt myself falling towards the ground, but something stopped my fall. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Matt looking down at me.

“You gotta be careful, those pebbles are killers,” he laughed and pulled me back up. I felt my cheeks burn up.

“Thanks,” I mumbled and he laughed again.

“You want a drink, this place makes the best slushies,” he smiled and pulled me into an Iceberg, the local ice cream store.

“Sure,”

“Two medium blue raspberry slushes, blue raspberries the best,” he said to the girl working behind the counter then to me.

“Okay,” he let go of my hand as he dug into his pocket to find some money. I gave a little sigh as his hand left. He payed the girl.

“This is about two dollars short,” the girl said and Matt cursed to himself.

“It’s okay, I think I have at least two dollars,” I said digging into my pocket. I pulled out a dollar and seventy-five cents and cursed.

“Sorry, only got a dollar seventy-five,” I shrugged.

“Dammit,” Matt said under his breath “A only one drink then. You don’t mind sharing do you?” I shook my head no, I didn’t mind sharing with anyone, much less him.

“Okay, here’s your change,” the girl gave him back the money that wasn’t spent. We got our drink and went back outside to continue walking.

“Mmm,” I said taking a sip “These are good.”

“Hey, I don’t drink it all. I want some,” Matt said reaching for the cup.

“Oh, right sorry,” I passed him the drink.

“Let’s go in here,” I said as we passed a tiny record store where I worked weekends.

“I’ve never been in here,” he said as we entered the store. Records, tapes, CDs and magazines were strewn all over the place.

“Really, I’m here all the time. I work here on weekends,” I said hopping over the counter and grabbing a sucker “You want one?”

“No thanks,” he said, suddenly becoming quieter.

“Aw, Derek. You really didn’t need to come here today,” my boss, Beth said coming from behind a stack of records “And who’s this cutie you brought with you?” I felt my cheeks blush.

“His name’s Matt, and I’m only here for candy,” I said grabbing another sucker.

“Did you want one Matt?” Beth asked, she was a sweetheart, but a little more on the old and chubby side.

“No thanks,” Matt said quietly.

“You want anything?” I asked Matt “Look around. I’ll buy.”

“You don’t have any money,” Matt said.

“I work here, Ol’ Bethy will take it out of my pay,” I said matter-of-factly “It’s my way of saying thanks for getting me out of my locker.”

“Oh, this cutie saved you from another bully attack?” Beth asked then added “And I’m not old, I just have . . . more experience.” I nodded and added a sarcastic uh huh.

“If Matty didn’t show up I would have been in that locker for who knows how long,” I cursed in my head for calling him Matty.

“Do you guys have I Hate Kate here? I can’t find them anywhere,” Matt said his eyes looking over the stacks of CDs.

“And he has taste too,” Beth said to go find him the CD “Good pick Der.” My cheeks became warm again.

“Derek?” Matt asked turning to face me.

“Uh huh?”

“Never mind,” Matt sighed and hit his leg.

“Okay,” I shrugged it off and ate another sucker.

Matt

I couldn’t believe it, I almost asked Derek to come over. I hit my alarm clock as my day began. I quickly jumped out of bed, I was a morning person, and took a shower. I walked to my closet and quickly found the perfect outfit. My red My Chemical Romance shirt and baggy black jeans, I grabbed my blue CD player and backpack before running out the door. I realized I had forgot my breakfast as I began my walk to the school. Derek probably wasn’t even gay, I told myself as just extremely Emo. I walked to my locker. I turned the volume up higher on my CD player as I walked through an extra thick group of kids and worked my way to my locker. I didn’t do any of my homework last night, I was too busy thinking about Derek. I even walked him home even though my home was in the completely opposite direction. There was a tap on my shoulder, a quick thought flashed through my head That better be Derek.

“Hey where were you yesterday we had band practice,” I groaned as I heard Travis’ voice.

“I was at detention,” I mumbled “Sorry I didn’t call.” I was in a band, we hadn’t decided on a name for it yet, we were only in the garage stage.

“Shawn wouldn’t shut up about you not being there,” Travis said.

“Uh yeah, look I’m really sorry,” I said not really caring.

“Well, we our having a concert at the Grotto tomorrow. You’re in right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I answered.

“Good, be there by seven ‘kay?” Travis demanded, he took care of most of the things the band went through. Right now it was just Shawn, Travis and me in the band. Shawn played the bass and Travis did throat and guitar. I managed doing vocals and guitar, but it was really hard, I’d rather not doing the main vocals. Travis walked away and I saw Derek running towards his locker.

“Hey Matt,” Derek said opening his locker.

“Hey,” I answered standing by him.

“So . . . um . . .You wanna ditch first hour? I am so not in the mood for math,” Derek asked me.

“Didn’t you ditch yesterday-I saw you running behind cars yesterday,” I said.

“Um yeah. . .’ Derek scratched his head’ “Guess I’m never in the mood for math,” Derek smirked.

“I’m in,” I said.

“Good cause we got to go like now,” Derek said grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowded hallways. I was out of breath by the time we were off the school’s property, I’m an ex-smoker.

“You run fast,” I took a deep breath and Derek shrugged.

“Some of my friends skateboard today at the closest skate park on Thursdays. You wanna go there?” Derek asked.

“Today Thursday?” I asked.

“Yeah, you moron. You want to go?”

“Sure, only if your friends are as cool as you though,” I smirked at Derek.

“Sorry their ass’s, but lets go anyway,” Derek grabbed my hand and we began to walk hand in hand. I think this definitely means he’s gay, yes! I screamed in my head as I smile fell over my face.

“Did I do something funny?” Derek asked “You just started smiling all of a sudden.”

“Nope, just thought of something stupid,” I shrugged.

“Can you skate?” Derek asked.

“Probably better than you,” I gave him a confident smile, I was on a skateboard before I could crawl.

“Oh so you must be familiar with the balancing game?” Derek asked.

“Yeah, I beat the crap out of my friends when we play,”

“I think I made friends with the right person then,” Derek said pulling me into the skate park.

“Justin!” he shouted spinning in circles in the center of the park “I though he’d be here for sure. I mean his car’s here.”

“Who’s Justin?” I asked.

“My best friend ever, he has my board,”

“No fair, you get to use your own board. Mine’s at home,” I growled playfully.

“Then let’s go get it. Will anyone be home?”

“Nope parents work,”

“Then hurry up,” Derek grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the park.

“I live that way,” I said pointing in the opposite direction he was going.

“Wow, you live far away,” Derek said running in the direction I had pointed forcing me to run with him.

We ended up not returning to the skate park, we just started playing video games.

“I am so going to kick your butt this round!” Derek screamed.

“Please Der, I’ve beat your rump for the past five rounds. There’s no way you’re going to beat me,”

“What ever, you’re going down,” the match started. We were playing Super Street Fighter for Super Nintendo. Derek was playing with Chun Li and I was playing with M. Bison. Derek suddenly jumped in my way and threw my character into the ground causing stars to appear then unplugged my controller.

“You little snake!” I screamed pushing him away and plugging my controller back in, but it was too late. M. Bison had no more health points left.

“Told you I’d win,” Derek smiled.

“Yeah, but you cheated,” I growled and Derek just laughed.

“Hey!” Derek shouted standing up “Can I see your room?”

“Um . . .” did I really want him in my room now, what if I had underwear out “I guess.”

“Yay!” he screamed and pulled me up “Where is it?” Derek put his hands on his hips and began looking around.

“For starters, you might want to look upstairs,” I pulled him up the wooden stairs in my house.

“I bet this is it,” Derek skipped into my red and black room.

“Yeah,” I said working my way over to my bed, there were CDs, magazines, clothes and just about everything I owned was on the floor or covered my furniture. The only things that were clean were my stereo and bed.

“Nice,” Derek laughed stepping around the piles I had on my floor and sat next to me on my bed. He looked around and pointed out one of my favorite posters.

“You like Alkaline Trio? Their my favorite band,” he squealed.

“Yeah, I like them a lot,” I smiled and looked at Derek’s eyes “Do you wear contacts?”

“Yep, I look geeky in glasses,” he continued looking around and picked up a pair of silk boxers my mom had gotten me as a joke “Aw these are so cute!” My cheeks burned.

“No need to be embarrassed, I like them,” Derek said with a large smile “Put them on.”

“Your kidding,” I laughed in half disbelief.

“Please,” Derek fell to his knees and made a puppy face.

“Fine,” I took the boxers and went to change in the hallway.

“Can I see when your done?” he asked full of confidence. I pulled my pants off on and threw on the boxers. I walked back into my room and Derek’s face lit up.

“You look like a model, take your shirt off.”

“What?” I asked unsure that I heard him correctly.

“Please, I’ll take mine off too,” Derek begged. What the hell was I doing? I asked myself as I pulled my shirt over my head. By the time my shirt came off, Derek kept his word and had taken his shirt off. . . and he looked good. I flutter flew throughout my body causing me to shiver involuntary.

“Hot,” Derek said eyeing me from my bed as I stood in my doorway.

“You look pretty dang fine,” I said smiling, he looked real good.

“Matt? Are you home the front door was unlocked!” my mom’s voice screamed. I looked at Derek.

“I thought we were here alone,” Derek whispered at me.

“Yeah that was for first hour. This is third,” I whispered back “Get in my closet.”

“What?” Derek asked.

“Just go,” I pushed him in my closet then yelled “Yeah Mom!” I ran and jumped under my covers.

“Matty, what are you doing home so early? It wasn’t a half day was it?” My mom asked concerned walking into my room and sitting on my bed. My eyes flashed over to where Derek was hiding in my closet. I could see him because there was so much stuff in my closet the doors couldn’t shut.

“I felt really bad today, mom, so I had called in sick. I hope that’s okay. I mean I took my temperature and it was real high,” I said and my mom placed her hand on my forehead.

“You’re right, you’re burning up,” I heard Derek holding back laughs to cover for his noise I tried to cough. It worked, it sounded very realistic.

“I’ll go get you some medicine. You should stay in bed,” my mom said walking out of my room.

“Jesus Christ Derek,” I said sitting up and shaking my head.

“So your getting hot?” he asked coming out of the closet “Is it because of me?” He walked closer to me.

“You look real good without a shirt,” I admitted and he smiled.

“Matt, I can only find children’s cold medicine syrup. Is that okay?” she asked and I heard her coming back up the stairs.

“Get back in there,” I pushed Derek towards the closet and he groaned “Yeah that’s fine!” I completely forgot how bad that syrup stuff taste. I was still tasting the cherry flavored syrup on my tongue two hours later when my mom had left to run errands and Derek and I were alone again.

“I hope you feel better,” the shirtless Derek said laying on my bed next to me.

“You know what would make me feel so, so much better?” I asked laying down and looked into his eyes.

“Hmm?” Derek mumbled.

“If you’d be my boyfriend?” I asked biting my lip and I squeezed my eyes closed expecting him to reject.

“Fuck yeah,” Derek said and squeezed me “Only if you promise to be my girl.”

“I’d love that,” I opened my eyes and smiled, the largest smile I could make.

“Good. Can I kiss you? I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” Derek asked.

“Of course,” I said pulling Derek close to me. His lips hit mine, they were cold and soft. His lips tasted like candy.

Derek

“Derek your ride is here!” my dad yelled from downstairs. I had only slept for four hours. Matt had been stuck on my mind. He was so cute, I couldn’t believe he liked me too. He’s my boyfriend. I laid in bed looking at my ceiling when Justin walked in.

“I had the best day ever yesterday,” I said as Justin bobbed his head to a familiar beat of the Decent Gremlins, his favorite band. I sat in his car dreaming out the window. After Matt had kissed me, he walked me back to my house where he kissed me again. He had such warm, hard lips, I loved them so much. They were what I’ve been dreaming about.

“Did you kiss Matt?” Justin asked flinching at the sound of a guy kissing another guy, it was still awkward for him to talk about me with other guys.

“Yeah, he was a real sweetheart too,” I sighed thinking about him.

“Did you have that dream last night?” Justin asked.

“Nope, but hopefully I’ll get the real deal soon.” I hinted winking and Justin groaned.

“That’s disgusting.” I laughed hysterically as we pulled into the school parking lot. I jumped out of the car before Justin had pulled it to a complete stop and ran to my locker.

As soon as I reached my locker I saw that Matt wasn’t there and sighed disappointed. I started to enter my combination when I was slammed up against my locker.

“I saw you yesterday,” a mad voice said and I was slammed into my locker again. I tried turning around to see who was speaking to me because it wasn’t any of my normal bullies. As I attempted to turn around I was slammed against my locker once more, this time all the force pushed from my head. My head hit an extra piece of metal and immense pain throbbed in my head. I tried wiping away the pain, but that didn’t work so I ignored it and grabbed my books.

“Hey, Derek,” I heard Matt’s voice from behind me and turned to face him.

“Jesus Christ, what happened to your head?” he asked wiping my forehead “You’re bleeding.” I cursed.

“I was slammed into my locker,” I answered simply, I didn’t want to tell him that it was because someone saw me with him yesterday.

“Who?” he asked holding my head.

“I don’t know I didn’t see him,” I shrugged “It doesn’t matter, there’s always someone who bullies me.”

“You shouldn’t be bullied, you’re my baby,” Matt said starting to walk and I followed him.

“Matt, will you sit by me at lunch?” I asked.

“Of course,” he stopped “This is your class.” My cheeks heated up and looked at my class then him.

“Thanks,” I walked into the classroom slowly not wanting to leave him.

I sat in my normal seat between the smartest girl in the class and the jock of the school. It was math class, I hated math more importantly I hated the people in my math class. I was the only one wearing black besides one boy on the opposite side of the room. Class didn’t start yet and there were only eight out of the twenty-five in the class. One was the other boy in black. He wasn’t bad looking, but he was no Matt.

“Hey, your Derek. Matt’s boy, right?” said the boy.

“Uh yeah,” I said “And you are?”

“Shawn,” he answered shaking my hand. Shawn looked Japanese or some at least of some Asian ethnicity. Today he had on his beanie that he always wore a black tee shirt and black jeans.

“Come sit by me today. The teacher won’t notice,” Shawn pulled me up out of my seat and over to his.

“Are you friends with Matt?” I asked sitting next to Shawn.

“Yeah, he’s in a band with me-” I cut him off.

“He’s in a band? He never told me,” I thought that makes him this much hotter.

“Yeah, he plays guitar and does our vocals. I think he’s embarrassed about that though,” Shawn shrugged.

“He shouldn’t be that’s really cool,”

“We have a concert tonight at the Grotto, you wanna come?” Shawn asked when a blond girl walked in.

“Hey get out of my seat you looser,” she groaned at me.

“Piss off princess,” Shawn growled at her, he laterally growled “You sit over there now.” Her eyes bugged out and she scampered over to my old seat.

“Yeah, well. It’s at 7:30, but don’t expect anything good from us, we don’t have a drummer or a real singer,” Shawn said.

“Shut up class,” the teacher walked in “Time for math.” Everyone quieted down, but Shawn and I passed notes all hour.

I’ve waited for lunch all day because I have no classes with Matt. I sat outside by a tree with Justin.

“That’s Matt right?” Justin asked pointing out Matt.

“Yep,” I waved to Matt, he was standing with two other boys. Shawn and one who’s name starts with a T, I think. Matt and his friends came walking over to us.

“Hey Matty, this is Justin,” I introduced them.

“Travis and-” I cut Matt off.

“Shawn, we talked in maths today,” I slapped the seat next to me “Sit here.” Matt came and sat next to me and slipped his arm around my waist. I smiled at him.

“Hey anyone got any food?” Justin asked.

“Here, I got some chips,” Travis threw him a bag of chips.

“Anyone want my milk, I think it’s expired,” Shawn said holding up a chocolate milk carton.

“Sure,” I said taking it. I took a big sip of it.

“Ew,” Matt said laughing.

“Shawn’s right, it’s expired,” I said smiling at Matt.

“Okay, Matt. Derek, Mr. Mimers and um . . . that blonde,” Travis said pointing at a blonde I’ve never met before.

“Kill Mimers, screw blondie, marry Derek,”

“Aw,” I smiled at him.

“My turn, um, Shawn. Derek, Justin and Trav,” Matt asked Shawn.

“Sick, you’re not allowed to give all boys,” Shawn groaned “Kill Travis, cause he didn’t give me his chips. Shag Justin. Marry Derek.”

“You can’t I’m married to Matt,” I said sounding completely serious and everyone laughed at me.

“Okay, Derek,” Shawn said “Me, blondie and Justin.”

“Easy. Kill you,” I said and Shawn made a face “Marry Justin, sleep with Blondie.”

“Why kill me?” Shawn asked.

“Because, you had me commit adultery,” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I’m taking it back to elementary,” I said “Travis, truth or dare.”

“Dare,” Travis answered easily.

“Ask blondie out,” I smiled evilly.

“Jerk,” Travis said standing up and walking over to the blond. The blond girl was surrounded by a bunch of her friends. I think the girl was on the cheerleading squad.

“I think she has a boyfriend,” Justin said as Travis reached her and began to speak.

“Great, that’s even funnier,” Matt said laughing.

“I feel bad for her, she’s kind of cute,” Shawn said.

“Yeah, especially if she wasn’t Travis’ sister,” Matt said smiling.

“That’s disgusting,” Justin said laughing. The girl stood up and slapped Travis across the face. She was yelling at him, but we couldn’t hear what she was saying, so I filled in for her.

“Oh, Trav, you silly fool to think I could ever love you,” I said in a high pitched girl voice.

“But. . . Maria. . . I love you!” Matt said filling in for Travis.

“Oh you perv!” Shawn said in a higher pitch voice then I did, Travis’ sister slapped Travis again and Travis walked away.

“Goodbye Maria, all I ever did was love you,” Matt said grumbling as Travis returned.

“Okay payback,” Travis said sitting down by us “Derek, Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” I said instantly.

“How old were you when you lost your innocence?” Travis smiled wickedly.

“I haven’t lost it yet,” I answered.

“Seriously?” Shawn asked.

“Honest, I’m only fifteen,” I smiled at them.

“Sorry Matt,” Travis said “I broke all of your hopes.” I looked at Matt.

“How old are you Matt?” I asked quietly.

“Seventeen. When do you turn sixteen?” Matt answered quieter then I asked. I thought for a moment, if I lied he would let me. If I told the truth, I would have to wait three years. I turned fifteen a month ago. I flashed a look at Justin as I answered.

“Um. . . Next . . .” Justin gave me a serious look, he knew when my birthday was and didn’t expect me to lie I sighed “Next year. I turned fifteen last month.”

“Dang you’re young,” Matt said giving me a shaky smile.

“Yeah,” I shrugged “Sorry, I’m young for my grade.” Everyone was quiet until Travis broke the ice.

“You guys want to skip the rest of the day. I mean what’s one day going to do?” Travis asked already pulling us off the school’s property.

“Where are we going?” I groaned on top of Matt’s back after we’ve walked for at least a hour.

“Travis where are you leading us?” Justin asked.

“Me, leading! I was following Shawn!” Travis screamed.

“Yeah uh huh, right. I was following you,” Shawn said calmly.

“I live about half an hour’s walk back if you guys want to go there?” Matt suggested.

“Let’s go, run pony run!” I squealed.

“I’ll drop you on your bum if you call me pony again,” Matt said smiling, so I knew he wasn’t mad.

“I thought you’d prefer to hurt my bum another way,” I joked with a wink then added “Right pony?” Matt dropped me on the spot.

“You’re such a tease,” he said as I fell on my butt and he pushed my shoulders down and kissed me.

“Let’s keep going,” Justin groaned and then mumbled a that’s disgusting.

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch,” I said simply as Matt pulled me back up. I let Matt walk a few steps ahead of me, then I jumped back on his back and wrapped my arms around his neck. He put his hands around my legs to help support me.

“Let’s go pony,” I whispered in his ear and squeezed him, trying to hold myself up as he moved his arms away. After a few minutes, his arms still weren’t back to holding me up and I was having difficulty staying on his back.

“Please help me, baby. I won’t call you pony,” I begged, he didn’t move.

“Maybe he can’t hear you,” Shawn said “I think you cut off all his oxygen with your arms.”

“Please, Matty,” I whined, then an idea popped into my head. I brought my lips down to his neck and kissed.

“Please help support me,” I whispered kissing his neck.

“That’s disgusting Der.” Justin said.

“Look at Matt, he’s trying so hard not to smile,” Travis squealed pointing at Matt.

“You know Matty,” I whispered “I’d be able to do this a lot easier if I had some support.” His hands immediately came to help support me.

“Thank you,” I kissed his neck.

At Matt’s house, Travis, Shawn, Justin and Matt were playing MarioKart64, a video game. I sat on the couch watching them. The race was basically Justin and Matt fighting for first and Shawn and Travis fighting for third. Every time Matt won, he would come and give me a hug.

“Take that Peach!” Matt screamed as he hit Justin’s character, Peach, with a red shell.

“You suck,” Justin groaned and turned around so he could make a jump. I heard Shawn curse as he failed to clear the jump.

“At least I’ll get third for sure,” Justin said as Travis passed him up and made the jump.

“Come on, I’ve gotten nothing, but fourth place!” Shawn whined trying hard to catch up, but the race was already over and I received a hug from Matt.

“Here, you take my controller,” Shawn said passing his controller to me “Maybe you’d have better luck.” I switched seats with Shawn.

“Okay, but I haven’t played this game since elementary,” I said changing my character to Yoshi.

“I’m sorry if I beat the crap out of you,” Matt said flashing me a cocky smile.

“Oh now it’s on!” I screamed and picked my favorite level, Bowser’s Castle.

“This is my favorite place,” Justin said.

“Mine too,” I answered. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 And we were off. Matt took the lead to start, but I stayed up top right behind him.

“You’re better then I thought,” Matt said “Now I won’t take it easy on you.” I yawned.

“Uh huh. You believe what you want,” I smiled at him and hit him with a green shell.

“You got good aim too,” Matt said.

“I lied, I have this game at home,” I said stealing first leaving Matt in my dust.

“Jesus. . .” Shawn mumbled from behind me on the couch “Your good.” I finished the race in first twenty seconds before Matt did. Justin came in third with Travis far behind them.

“I give up,” Travis said throwing his controller away from him and joined Shawn on the couch.

“Hug?” I asked Matt with my arms outstretched. Matt looked away from me.

“Aw, is Matty mad because I beat the shit out of him?” I asked hugging the angry Matt from behind “No need to be mad. I’ll go easy next time so you can win.”

“Fine,” Matt grumbled hugging me back.

“Oh sh. . .” I said looking at the time “I got a detention today. Want to walk me back to the school?” I winked at Matt.

“Hell yeah,” he jumped up “Be back soon.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door. He softly slammed me up against his front door when we were outside. He pushed his lips against mine.

“I’ve been wanting to do that,” He said pulling me away from his door. I was left stunned, but I had a huge smile on my face.

“You should do it more often,” I said after I regained my composure as we began walking back to the school.

“Tree?” he asked suddenly and I stared at him thinking “What the heck are you talking about?”, but then I got it as he slammed me against a tree and kissed my lips hard.

“I like,” I said as he pulled away “A lot.” He gleamed and began skipping with my hand in his.

Matt

I was still smiling when I came home from walking Derek back to the school. Shawn Justin and Travis still sat playing video games when I came back in.

“With you gone I finally won,” Justin smiled as I grabbed the empty controller.

“Now you shall lose again,” I said, as a new race began. I immediately flew into first place, but Justin was close behind me.

“I gotta go,” Travis said throwing his controller down as he fell off the race track.

“Don’t be a baby, baby,” Shawn winked at him.

“Gross, no offense Matt,” Travis shuddered.

“None taken,” I mumbled because I was still racing with Justin.

“Later,” Travis mumbled as he walked out the door. We all mumbled something to him before we heard the front door shut.

Eventually Shawn and Justin had left because I had to get ready for the concert later. I put on an extra thick layer of black eyeliner to go along with my black striped shirt and extra tight jeans that I knew Derek would like. I clasped several bracelets around my wrists and tightened my studded belt. I gave a slight smile in the mirror before I grabbed my guitar and began to leave the house.

“Matthew Green, you are not going to wear those tight of pants,” my mom scolded as I tried to pass her.

“I love you mom,” I gave her my sweetest smile.

“Matthew, my words are final go change your pants,” she commanded.

“I’ll pay you back later,” I said kissing her forehead before skipping past her and out the door. I heard her groan as I shut the door behind me.

I stood on the small stage behind a microphone. Travis was to the right of me with his guitar and Shawn to my left with his bass. I looked down and saw Derek screaming his head off as I sang useless words out and hit the strings on my guitar with a pick. I wiped the sweat from my brow as we switched songs.

“This song is called My Life,” I said then instantly Shawn started up his beat, Travis continued with a guitar in quick tastes. I let my guitar fall off to my side. I wrapped my hands around the microphone and pulled it close to my lips.

“With this fake smile I hide under all day, it helps people think that I’m okay,” I pulled away from the microphone and played a few chords then continued the exact same chords over and over again and sang into the microphone “I put on sunglasses to hid all the tears, I feel like I’m somewhere else but in reality I’m right here.” Travis continued the vocals with some throat vocals.

“I starve myself to find the perfect figure, just to find myself bathing in liquor. I wish I lived in fiction, but then the reality of things,” I sang as Travis slammed down into a hardcore guitar solo while Shawn backed him up changing his beat to something more intense “I am not the flawless man in the gym, or the smart kid wanting to rule the lands, all I’ve got is my guitar in my hands. I am just that kid who no one knows. At least that’s how I feel.”

“I think I might live in Hell!” Travis screamed.

“But I have not yet died,”

“I died on the social ladder!” Travis yelled.

“I will never be noticed anymore, except by that corner street whore. I’d pay thousands to just feel loved, noticed. But no one loves a kid like me,” I let my guitar sag to my side and Travis allowed his to sag too only Shawn was playing his sole beat “But no one loves a kid like me, like me. No one loves a worthless. . .”

“You worthless kid,” Travis giggled into the microphone.

“An ugly . . .”

“You ugly kid,” Travis squealed trying to sound like a girl.

“No one loves this worthless ugly kid tonight. . .” I sang and Shawn stopped his beat.

“No one loves that ugly worthless kid tonight,” Travis sang. We repeated the song exactly the same way, we weren’t too good at coming up with new lyrics. As we repeated it the second time, we let the chords all fade away as the little crowd in front of us screamed. I saw Derek as I climbed off the stage, he was standing against a wall in the back smiling widely. He wore loosely fitted black pants and a red hoodie. I pushed through the small crowd and embraced him in a tight hug when I got to him. He winced as I put my arms around him.

“You okay baby?” I asked taking my arms off of him.

“I’m fine,” he stated with a large smile and put a kiss on my cheek, calming me down.

“Okay,” I hugged back “How were we?”

“Amazing, but your really sweaty.” He looked at me with a fake disgust.

“You don’t like it when I’m dirty?” I asked pushing him lightly against the wall behind him.

“I like this dirty,” he stated and bit the bottom of his lip.

“Me too, but I think we’re being watched,” I smiled at Derek then my eyes fell to the right on me where some girls watching us. Derek’s eyes followed mine.

“Looks like we have to put on a show,” Derek whispered then kissed the bottom of my lip. I felt my lips begin to tilt up and kissed him back. I shivered as his lips hit mine hard I tried to kiss him back with equal force, but failed. Somehow I ended up against the wall and Derek had gained dominance. We kissed for a while longer until I opened my eyes to see the girls were no longer watching and I slowed my kisses. He slowed his kissed too and made them softer. As he pulled away, I tried to keep him close with my arms around his waist. He pulled away with a sudden burst of speed and flinched as I kept my hands locked at his waist.

“Your not okay are you?” I asked softly and he shook his head “What’s wrong?”

“Bullies,” he mumbled looking at his feet.

“Who?”

“Some fat ass Asian guy, but that doesn’t matter when I’m with you so please, don’t worry,” Derek pleaded.

“Baby, I don’t want anyone to hurt you,” I smiled sweetly at him and softly hugged him.

“You wanna ditch?” Derek asked trying to change the topic.

“Sure,” I grabbed his hand and led him out of the Grotto.

We were walking silently in the moonlight. I didn’t know what time it was, but I had been outside with Derek for a long time. We didn’t say anything as we sat on the grass in a deserted park.

“You look really cute in the moonlight,” Derek said leaning on me.

“How many bruises do you have?” I asked making a quick topic change, the whole bully thing had been bothering me since we left the Grotto.

“Matty,” Derek groaned and I gave him puppy dog eyes “Fine, a lot. A whole lot. He saw me as I left the school today and he beat me up. That’s it.”

“That why you’re wearing long sleeves?” I asked softly and he nodded.

“It’s gonna be okay, I’m going to beat the shit out of that guy once I find out who he is.”

“Okay,” Derek said closing his eyes and placed his head on my thigh. I sat there for a while letting Derek fall asleep on my thigh.

I woke in the dark to Derek moving off me.

“You awake baby?” he asked and I nodded. He nodded to and raised his hand, he was pointing at swings.

“What’s there?” I asked.

“People, I think its that fat kid. If you look closely you can see his pale flubbed sticking out,” he said. His voice was trying to be humorous to hide the fact he was scared.

“Come on let’s go,” I said pulling Derek off the ground and we began to make our way in the opposite direction.

“Hey!” a voice behind us commanded, we both stopped suddenly. I turned around to get in the way of the guy and Derek. I quickly ended up facing a large Asian kid.

“Hello,” I growled “I see you’ve been picking on the tiniest person you can find.”

“He is one of the wimpiest people I’ve ever met,” he snapped back calmly.

“And what are you?” I hissed “Not a wimp for attacking him instead of me?”

“Indeed, I am the most spectacular person you’ll ever meet,” he gave me a toothy smile I laughed to myself.

“You are a jerk and could never have half the balls my baby has,” I snapped back with a half smile. He chuckled to himself. I saw him make th motions of making a punch and caught it midair.

“Just, back, the fuck, off,” I hissed and pushed his fist away. I knew in the back of my mind if we did have to fight he would win, I wasn’t made for fighting. He seemed stunned I was able to grab his fist and took a step back.

“No run away like the little bitch you are,” I growled out the command which he surprisingly obeyed.

“When you aren’t around, I will kill that little fag,” he hissed and ran away. I turned to see Derek who was staring wide eyed at me.

“It’s gonna be okay,” I whispered as Derek collapsed on my shoulder. Tears fled out his eyes and began to wet my shirt.

“I promise I’ll take care of you,” I whispered into his ear then kissed his forehead.

“How do you know it’ll be fine?” Derek whimpered out. I didn’t have a good answer, so I didn’t speak. We stood against each other hugging.

“You want to spend the night at my house?” I asked in a whisper and Derek nodded furiously.

Derek

I laid next to Matt on his bed, nothing happened last night. When he climbed into the bed next to me I was worried he would try something, but he didn’t. I stared at him when I woke up, he had an arm around me and his eyes were shut. His chest took long even breaths. I smiled as I watched him, he stood up to that bully and promised to protect me, but could he really do that? I closed my eyes and felt him moved in his sleep, he pulled me closer to him his hand hit a bad bruise and I made a small noise in pain. I opened my eyes to see if it had woken him up, it hadn’t. He attempted to pull me closer still, he hit the bad bruise again. This time my yelp was louder. I bit my lip trying to muffle the noise as he opened his eyes. He jumped right out of the bed as he saw the pain I was in.

“Shi- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” he stumbled out as quick as his lips could work.

“Hush baby, I’m fine. Get back in the bed,” I commanded and he obeyed “Good boy.” I gave him a hug and kissed his neck.

“I’m really sorry,” Matt said, his brown eyes turned big and ready to cry.

“It’s okay my little emo,” I whispered with a soft laugh. He gave a soft smile and gave me a squeeze.

“What do you want for breakfast?” he asked “I’ll make you whatever you want. My parents are at work and I’m an only child, so we have the whole place to ourselves.”

“You got CapN’Crunch?” I asked, it was my favorite cereal.

“I would have made you happy face pancakes and you want cereal?” he asked “Weirdo.”

“I’m not weird, I’m just. . .” my mind drew a blank, I had nothing prepared to say.

“My boyfriend?” Matt suggested.

“That and amazing,” I smiled as we climbed out of his bed.

“You are that too,” Matt agreed.

“I know,” I kissed his forehead and pulled on my jeans from yesterday over my boxers.

“You want a clean shirt?” Matt asked as I picked up my sweaty hoodie.

“Hell yeah,” I nodded with a smile.

“Pick anyone you like, I’m going downstairs to get you some cereal,” Matt said walking out of the room after gesturing to his closet. I opened up the doors and saw many different clothes. I finally found one I liked, it was small even on me, but I managed to get it over my head. It was black with three skeletons and the band Alkaline Trio written on it. I skipped out of Matt’s bedroom and down to his kitchen, or at least where I thought the kitchen was. Where I thought the kitchen was turned out to be a living room.

“Matty!” I cried out “I’m lost!”

“This-A-Way!” Matt yelled through obvious laughs. I turned around and saw a door I didn’t see before. I walked through it and saw Matt laughing next to two bowls of cereal.

“Nice,” Matt said as I sat down next to him.

“Keep up the attitude and I won’t give you any kisses,” I whined as Matt pouted.

“Unfair,” he growled giving me a bowl of BerryCapN’Crunch. I accepted it gratefully and took a big spoonful.

“Yummy,” I smiled.

“It’s my specialty,” Matt gleamed.

I was going to meet Matt’s parents tonight. I haven’t been home since before Matt’s concert and haven’t even bothered to call. I sat next to Matt in his living room we held hands as we waited for his parents to come home from work. His mom, Matt had told me, was policeman and his dad worked as the band director at a middle school, which was where Matt learned to play the guitar. Not in the middle school band, but from his dad, his dad also taught him how to play the piano and the flute. He also told me his mom was very strict about religion, so we could make no signs that we were gay. He said his dad probably wouldn’t care, but his mom would go insane. I was okay without letting her know, if it was my dad, I’d want Matt to do the same thing.

“I’m nervous,” I whispered and Matt squeezed my hand.

“It’ll be fine.” I turned to look at him, Matt gave me a smile making me relax.

“I hope so,” I looked down at my feet, but my head shot back up as we heard a car door slam shut. I felt my eyes go wide as I watched the front door waiting for it to open.

“Come on get up,” Matt said “I’ve never introduced my friends like girlfriends.” Matt pulled me up and over to the front door.

“You need to let go of my hand,” Matt whispered as the handle began to turn. I quickly released my grip, bringing my hand down to my pant pocket.

“Hey Matts,” a strong male voice said as a fairly small man walked in.

“Hey dad,” Matt nodded “Where’s mom?”

“She’s um. . .” Matt’s dad struggled to find words “She’s not here.” Matt gave his dad an odd look, but Matt’s dad shook it off.

“Who’s this?” the man asked me more so then Matt.

“I’m um, Derek Barker,” I breathed out.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Matt’s dad, Mark Green,” he held his hand out.

“Yeah dad, it’s nice to see you too, but I need to drive Derek home,” Matt said pulling me out of the house. Matt unlocked the doors to an old beat up car, it was a car I didn’t recognize, must be really old. I shrugged and jumped into the shotgun seat. Matt put a tape into the player.

“Geeze, how old is this car?” I asked with a laugh.

“Uh, old? I was never good with cars,” Matt admitted driving out of his driveway.

“Is this your car?”

“No, it’s really Shawn’s, but he left it here,” Matt smiled “I’ve been using it ever since.” I smiled at Matt, he pushed some stray hairs away from his face to show off his beautiful eyes.

“I want to kiss you,” I said without thinking and Matt laughed.

“I’m always willing,” he pulled the car over to the side off the road. As soon as he stopped the car I pulled his face to mine. He unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed on top of me, straddling me. He wiped hairs out of my face and kissed me. My hands fled to his shirt and began to sneak up it. I heard him chuckle as helped me take off his shirt. He had a nice body, it wasn’t muscular, but it didn’t have any extra fat. I eyed his bare chest as his hands tried to pull off my shirt. I raised my arms up so Matt would have easier time pulling his shirt off of me.

“Your so thin,” Matt said as he pulled his lips close to my ear and began to cover my neck in tiny kisses. I stroked his hair as he kissed me.

Somehow after he had found a way to get off of me, he managed to drive me home.

“How many times did we almost get into an accident?” I asked Matt as he walked me up to my door.

“It’s only because you had your hand on my thigh, I couldn’t concentrate,” Matt defended.

“Well, I knew you liked it there,” I laughed opening my front door “I would invite you in, but I have to get ready for work.”

“It’s fine, I’ll see you later,” Matt said turning around.

“Wait a sec,” I said and pulled him into the house and shut the door behind him. I pushed him against the door. I pressed my lips against him, when I drew away a smile was across his face.

“Now you can go,” I smiled and opened the door for him.

“By Der-” Matt said waving and walking away.

“Bye Matty,” I gave a slight wave then went to my room to get dressed for work.

I sat behind the counter and changed the song playing behind the counter at the little record store.

“Derek Barker, if you don’t let us finish listening to a song I’m going to fire you!” Beth complained while bringing in a new box of new CDs.

“You would never fire me,” I said.

“And how do you know that?” Beth asked with her hands on her fat covered hips.

“Because I love you,” I said with big baby eyes and placed my hand across my heart. Beth began to laugh.

“Okay, you’re right. Now can you please actually begin working and put these CDs away?”

“Yep,” I jumped over the counter and grabbed the box Beth had just brought it.

“There’s more boxes for you to put away in the back,” Beth said as I pulled out the A’s.

By the third box I was bored and was moving incredibly slow.

“Hey Derek!” I heard Beth’s voice boom over the music “I’m going home for a while your in charge while I’m gone. There’s people out front who want to see you too!”

“‘Kay!” I shouted back and finished up putting away the box. I chuckled to myself realizing the only reason she left me in charge was because I was the only one working now. I walked calmly to the front of the store, but as I turned around a piled of used records that where on sale, I saw who was here for me. I quickly hid jumped back behind the records as I saw them. The fat Asian kid was here along with two friends. I worked my way over to the back room, the door to the back room was in clear view of where the Asian kids were standing. I would have to make a dash for it. I got down on all fours hoping that the counter would cover me as I crawled over to the door, no such luck.

“Hello you dumb ass faggot,” the fat Asian kid said. I jumped up onto my feet and stared at him as bravely as I could.

“Don’t get up, all got fags deserve to be on all fours and below us,” the Asian kid said. I slowly began the short walk over to where the panic button on the cashier was.

“Don’t move,” commanded a smaller Asian kid in a denim jacket. I continued to move.

“I said don’t move,” the Asian kid in denim pulled out a knife and jumped over the counter by me. I panicked and shot my hand out to the panic button. The knife grazed my hand as I reached and pushed the button.

“You fag,” the fat Asian kid commanded.

“Don’t call me a fag,” I growled pulling my cut hand to my shirt. I wrapped the cloth around the wound.

“Sorry, but we’re calling the shots,” the one in denim said.

“Let’s dash, he pushed an alarm,” the quiet one said watching the door.

“He’s right, the police will be here any second,” I growled with more confidence then I should have had.

“I came here to hurt him and I’m not leaving until I get my point across!” shouted the fat one.

“I’m leaving,” squealed the quiet one as he fled out the door. The denim boy pushed my back against the wall, my lower back hit a something against the wall and I hissed in pain. I heard a siren over the loud music and a small smile flew across my face.

“Give me that,” growled the fat one taking the knife.

“I’m on probation, I got to go,” denim boy said sprinting out the door.

“The police are here, this is your last chance,” I said calmly. My hand throbbed in pain as the Asian guy pushed me back against the wall with a hand around my throat. I tried to push it away or do anything to allow oxygen back into my body.

“I am going to kill you,” he growled as the grip around my neck became tighter. He forced me up off the ground, with just one hand on my throat. His other hand held the knife which he looked like he was ready to use, but then I blacked out.

I woke up to a stench of sterility around me. I coughed out and was having difficulty breathing. I opened my eyes to see myself in a pale room, I was laying on a stiff bed with a tube going into my nose. I was in a hospital room, I looked to my left and saw another person in a bed. It was a fairly old guy, he had no hair except for a thinning beard. He was connect to many wires.

“Ah hello,” his cheerful voice rang as I looked at him “Name’s Charley Bean. I would shake your hand but as you see I’m in no condition to stand.” The old man began laughing hysterically at his own joke.

“What’s your name son?”

“Um. . . Derek Barker,” I looked at him confused.

“Oh, so you’re the boy from the record store. That’s a story that’s going to be in the papers,” Charley laughed “There was another boy here earlier he left just a few minutes ago, I suspect he’ll be back soon.” My mind went right to Matt, it must have been him.

“What happened?” I asked Charley as a nurse into the room with Melissa in her police uniform.

“Hi Melissa,” I gritted my teeth as I spoke her name, she was the reason my dad left my mom.

“Derek,” she nodded her head “I need to move you to a single room to find out what you remember before you got here. You took quite a beating.” I nodded and the nurse helped me out of the bed. Pain struck my whole body as I took the first step.

Justin

I drove over to Derek’s, we were going to the skate park today. I asked him yesterday at the concert if he wanted to go. I knocked on his front door, no answer so I assumed he was just in his room listen to music and couldn’t hear the knocks. I looked for the spare key, I used to know where it was, but sometimes Derek’s Dad’s girlfriend moved it. After looking in the flower pot, above the door, under the welcome mat, I finally found it taped inside their mailbox. I walked straight to Derek’s room, but he wasn’t there. As I was beginning to leave the phone rang. I stupidly answered it carelessly, I cursed at myself in my head as I said hello.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Barker, this is Westland Hospital. Your son, Derek Barker has been injured at work today and is here.” I was talking to a recording.

“Please hurry to pick your son up, he is unconscious now, but will soon be up and running. Thank you, and good-bye.” I hung up on the recording. I stared at the wall near the phone. I stood dumbfounded, but finally managed to leave the house.

I had just found out what happened to Derek, I sat next to his as he slept in the bed. There was an old guy near us that wouldn’t shut up.

“I assume he will be just fine,” said the old guy, I hadn’t said a word to him and he still wouldn’t shut up.

“I bet he didn’t even go through anything bad, unlike that kid at the-” I cut off the old man.

“Please, just shush,” I snapped at him and he snapped his mouth shut. I turned to look at Derek, he laid still with a tube stuck in his nose. I sighed as my stomach growled.

Matt

I came home to see my dad sitting on the couch reading an Entertainment magazine.

“Hey, mom home yet?” I asked as I took my shoes off.

“Matt, we need to talk,” my dad said putting down his magazine. He wore a straight face, he couldn’t have found out about Derek and me. This was his first time seeing Derek, we weren’t that obvious were we?

“Yeah,” I sat on the floor near my dad.

“You know your mother and I love you very much, but. . .” I cursed aloud, how the heck did he find out so quick?

“No, Matt it’s going to be okay. We are going to get through this, you just need to decide who you want to live with?” What? Did he think I wanted to live with Derek.

“It’s okay to be upset, we know it’s not your fault. . .” What the heck?

“I am sorry, I would love for us to stay a family, but your mother decided-” What is he talking about?

“To sleep with another man,”

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed uncontrollably at first I was relieved he didn’t know I was gay, then I realized my dad and my mom were getting a divorce.

“Now, Matt please your mother and I decided to get a divorce,” my dad admitted with his head down. Hey, a thought flashed across my mind, I think my dad might be okay with my being gay so if my mom wasn’t around. . .

“Am I going to stay with you?” I asked.

“Well, if you want to I don’t know where your mother is going. . .” my dad said with his soft voice. I gave a half smile back to my dad.

“Okay,” I shrugged and something in my pocket vibrated “Excuse me for a sec.”

Outside of the living room, I pulled the flip phone to my ear.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, Matt, it’s Justin,” Justin’s voice came from the other end.

“Are you on Derek’s cell?” I checked the caller I.D. on my cell and it was Derek’s phone number.

“Uh yeah, I didn’t have your number so I took Derek’s phone, but that’s not why I called. Derek’s at the hospital. He’s asleep right now and I just left, so if you want to get over here. I just think he’d want you here,” Justin’s voice quieted down.

“Yeah, I’ll get there as soon as I can,” I replied going into the living room signing to my dad I had to go. He nodded with a confused look on his face and I ran to my car trying to go as fast as I could to go to the hospital.

I tapped a random beat with my foot as I drove as quick as I could. I ran into the hospital, right to the counter.

“Hello? And you are?” the female behind the counter asked me.

“I’m Matt Green, I’m here to see Derek Barker,”

“Just fill out this paper, then give it to me and then you can go see him. He’s in room 222 bed B,”

“Thank you,” I replied, but was thinking why the fuck do I have to fill out a paper to visit Derek. The girl nodded and I walked over to some seats to fill out the paper.

After filling out the paper work, I marched straight to Derek’s room. When I got to the room, there was only some old man and an empty bed.

“Is this Derek Barker’s room?” I asked the old man.

“Was, but then he woke up and the police, and if you know police they don’t stop until they get what they want, and the police went to go ask him some questions,” the old man blabbered on, but I stopped paying attention to him. I walked out of the room and tried to find a nurse. When I eventually found a nurse, he directed me to a new room. The door was locked, so I had to knock before I entered.

“Hello?” a voice I recognized as my mom’s and impulse took over. I curled my hand into a fist and swung it at the person who opened the door. My fist was grabbed midair.

“I wasn’t expecting you Matt, what do you want?” my mom asked impatiently.

“Matt?” Derek’s voice perked up from behind my mom.

“Leave,” I demanded of my mom with a glare, she stepped out of the room and I ran past her and went to Derek’s side. He laid on a bed, his skin was pale and his face was sweaty.

“What happened Der Bear?” I asked in a soft baby voice.

“Um, did you just get here?” he asked.

“What happened, are you okay?” I asked again.

“I’m fine, they’ll let me go home tomorrow after the run another test for something. I’m scared,” he lowered his eyes to avoid my eyes. I gave him a soft smile and climbed onto the bed next to him.

“What happened baby?” I asked again then gave him a peck on his cheek.

“That Asian kid came into the record store with friends and attacked me,” he turned his head away from me ashamed.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, I felt tears brimming on my cheek “I should have been there, I’m sorry baby.” I gave him the softest hug I could muster up.

“Beth shouldn’t have left me in charge, it’s my fault,” Derek whined, his eyes were beginning to water. Although I couldn’t see his eyes as he tried to hide his face from me.

“Baby, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Even if you did something worth being ashamed of, I would still like you so so so much,” I admitted. He turned his head and looked at me, his big baby eyes released large drops of salty water.

“You like me a lot?” he asked, his eyes becoming even more puppy-like.

“Yeah,” I nodded and kissed his forehead.

“Even though you’ve only known me for a few days?” he asked avoiding my kiss.

“Yes,” I smiled a droll smile and looked at him.

“I think I like you a whole lot too,” Derek smiled and attached lips, just then who was to enter, but my mom and another man. He had his hand in her back pocket, but was immediately taken out. The look on his face changed too, instead of a pleasureful look, dispair quickly crossed over it.

“Matthew Green, get off that bed right now!” my squealed as the other man said the same thing to Derek, but visa versa.

“Piss off,” I growled at my mom and gave Derek a hug “Is he the other man?” My mom ignored my question.

“Matthew Green, get of Derek Barker. Now!” she screeched, I held Derek’s hand for a second then climbed off the bed. My mom pulled me out of the room, leaving Derek and the “Other Man” in the room.

“Matthew Green, where did we go wrong?” my mom asked me with dad on her side. I sat on the couch in front of them.

“Why did you sleep with another man?” I hissed at my mom.

“Don’t take that tone with me,” my mother growled back as my dad cowered behind her.

“I don’t care if you leave, I’m staying with dad,” I hissed.

“Stop changing the topic,” she grumbled “How did you become gay, what did we do wrong?”

“Dad did nothing wrong-” I gave pleading eyes to my dad.

“Melissa, please, I loved you, but Matt and I don’t want to deal with this now. So please,” my dad’s voice grew more confidence as he spoke “So please, Melissa, please leave.” I turned to see how my mother reacted to his demand. Her eyes bulged out and a frown grew across her face.

“Yes Melissa, please leave,” I backed up my dad’s command.

“Fine,” my mother snapped at us “I’ll be back later to collect all of my things. And Mark, when you want to give me divorce papers, I’ll be at the Barker house. I think Matt knows where that is.” She spat out with a disgust at us as she slammed the front door behind her.

“Thank you, dad,” I gave a slight smile to my dad.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?” he asked wearily “I wouldn’t have cared.”

“I um . . . didn’t think you would care, but I thought if I told you, you would have told Melissa.”

“Matthew Green, Melissa is still your mother and if you live under my roof you will see her as such. Call her your mother, just to be respectful,”

“Okay, I thought you would tell my mother and I knew she would be against it,” I shrugged my shoulders and looked at my feet.

“Hey Matt, you hungry? Want to go out to eat?”

Derek

“Derek Barker get off that flippin’ boy!” my dad screamed at me as Matt went away. Matt gave my hand a squeeze before he left. How could such a perfect moment turn so horribly bad? I asked myself as my dad started screaming questions at me. My dad continue to yell at me, but what he was saying was just a big blur. As what Matt said fled through my head.

“I like you so so so much,” I smiled at my dad, which caught him off guard.

“Do you know when I can go home?” I asked cutting him off from all of his questions.

“Oh, your not going home, you’re going to your mother’s,” he growled “I just can’t even bare to look at you and your little faggot face.” I bit my lip and glared at him. It wasn’t like me to be so bold, but I curled my fingers into a fist and put all my force into punching him. After he was slammed down onto the ground, with all my strength and pained body I ran out of the room and to the one with the old man which held my real clothes.

I was out of breath by the time I reached my room. I slammed the door shut behind me and managed to lock it.

“Oh hello, Derek,” Charley said “What brings you back here with such haste?” He chuckled to himself as I went to grab my clothed. I quickly put them on and ran my fingers through my hands like a comb.

“Leaving in such a haste too?” Charley chuckled, he was so annoying, but I nodded and sped out of the room. I went calmly through the elevator doors and soon was in the lobby walking out the revolving front doors of the place.

In the parking lot I saw a car I recognized with it’s owner having a cigarette outside of it. I walked over to him.

“Justin, I need a lift,” I came over to him with my head held low.

“Sure, hop in,” he nodded. I jumped into the shotgun seat as he squished his cigarette out under his foot. He climbed into the car next to me and the music started pumping as he started the car.

“I thought you gave up smoking,” I said as we drove out onto the road.

“Did, I was just worried,” he said putting a new CD in.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Your house?” he asked and I nodded.

The rest of the drive was in silence, it wasn’t an awkward silence, but more of a relaxing, passionate silence. I thanked him as he dropped me off in front of my house.

“Later, oh um here’s your cell,” he said before driving off and handing me my cellular phone. I gave a slight wave as he disappeared down the road. I slowly opened the door of my house to see my dad waiting for me. He sat on our old couch with a bright red mark on his cheek.

“Uh hi,” I said with a fake smile.

“Uh hi,” my dad mocked me walking towards me and away from the couch where he had been sitting. As he came closer, I could smell the stench of beer on his breath and his clothes.

“So I’ll be moving in with mom?” I asked with the shaky smile on my face.

“Yeah, but first,” he growled walking closer, pushing me back against the door.

“I’m not sorry,” I said bravely as his fist was hurled at my face. I ducked and ran to my room, as I did so I realized this was the first time I evaded successfully from him. I heard his hand pound against the wooden door as I slammed my bedroom door shut.

I sat in my room packing my things, the door was locked and shut tight, I had music blaring out from my stereo as loud as it could go and I debated on what I needed to bring. The only thing that was in my head was finally getting away from my dad. I threw as many shirts that my bag could fit into the bag when a different thought crashed against my head like a truck ramming a brick wall. What will become of Matt and I? I suddenly stopped moving and stare into a daze. Mom lives about twelve hours away from here, I will be lucky if I even see Matt at all. I felt something warm travel down my cheek. I wiped away the tear and threw pants into another bag I had found under my bed.

Two hours later I crawled out of my room. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed one of my dad’s beers and made myself a sandwich. I sipped the beer and walked out to the living room where my dad was watching t.v.

“I’m taking you to the bus tomorrow at eight A.M.” my dad said without looking at me.

“Go to hell,” I mumbled back and crawled back up to my room. I pulled out my cellular phone and frantically tried Matt’s cell. I must have tried fifteen times before I gave up and collapsed on my bed. I stared at the ceiling, tears fell down my cheeks as I listened do the Suicide Machines. I screamed out the words of the songs, but they came out mumbled and grotesque.

“Shut the fuck up Derek!” my dad screamed and forced his way into my room. I cowered againxt the corner of my four walls. Unfortunately this seen was all to familiar. I recognized the pure hatred in his eyes and labeled this as bully #1. This was my most common bully, after him #2 Drunk, #3 Melissa and him then my only real normal kid bully the ones at school.

I sat half asleep on the bus the next day, with new bruises freshly made on my stomach. Along with a large cut across my forehead the pain never stopped throbbing no matter how many pills I took.

“May I sit here?” I heard a voice asked and I turned toward the aisle. I shrugged when I saw a fairly cute boy. He probably wasn’t even gay, I told myself, but moved my things aside for him to be able to sit there. He wore dark glasses, black pants, a leather trench coat and his hair was in a messy blotch on his head.

“The rest of the seats were full,” he said and I looked around, he was correct.

“Where you headed?” I asked remembering my dad telling me to get off at Remington if I wanted to end up with my mom.

“Um, Remington I think. My friends told me they’d call later to make sure I got off at the right stop,” he said.

“My name’s Derek,” I said holding out a hand to him, the pain on my body suddenly forgotten as the boy’s hand hit mine.

“Zeke Fargo,” he said shaking my hand slightly.

“That name sounds familiar,” I said, unsure of where I’ve heard it.

“Well, it’s nice to meet someone who doesn’t recognize me,” he mumbled.

“What?” I asked confused.

“I’m in a band, The Decent Gremlins, have you heard of them?”

“Oh! So that’s where I heard your name, they’re my best friend’s favorite band,” I said “I’ll have to tell him I saw you.”

“If you do, could you be a doll and not say where I’m headed?” he asked “The guys would kill me if paparazzi showed up to Lukas’s wedding.” He cursed “I was supposed to say anything about that.”

“It’s safe with me,” I gave him a smile and he smiled back. His smile sent shivers through me, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. . .

Matt

I couldn’t focus at the diner with my dad, there was a really cute guy waiting us. His name tag said his name was Chico. He had darker skin and pitch black hair with dark brown eyes. He was tall, but not horribly thin and look at those lips. I mentally beat myself up thinking about him, since I was with Derek, but the way he smiled.

“Wood yho lik yhor bhill?” he asked my dad with a smirk directed towards me, I looked away suddenly noticing I had been staring at him. My dad gave him his credit card and he walked away.

“I still am not too comfortable with this. . . thing, I need to go to the bathroom,” my dad said getting up and giving me a weird look. I smiled as my dad left towards the restroom and my eyes flashed to find Chico. I grew frantic when he was no where to be seen. I stood up quickly and hit the table as I stood up.

“Careful,” a hand landed on my shoulder from behind.

“Uh yeah,” I said turning around to see Chico soft smile.

“Your bill is set,” he handed the case with my dad’s credit card sticking out to me.

“Uh thanks,” I mumbled embarrassed about hitting the table, he chuckled to himself “My name’s Matt. Matt Green.”

“Chico Rosse,” he nodded as we shook hands, our eyes locked as our hands touched. I counted the seconds our eyes didn’t move. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6.

“When do you get off work?” I asked our eyes still not breaking contact. 8 . . . 9. . . 10 . .

“In half an hour,” he said, 11. . . 12 . . .

“Can I take you out to a movie?” 13 . . . 14 . . . silence hit us and I was nervous at first.

“Anyone,” he said with a smile 15. . . 16 . . . I smiled back when we lost eye contact.

“Matt?” my dad asked, waving a hand in front of my eyes.

“Sorry,” I muttered under my breath then whispered “I’ll be back.”

“I hope so,” I heard him giggle as my dad dragged me out of the diner. I laughed as my dad pushed me into his car.

Half an hour later I was in the diner’s parking lot with my car. I skipped out of the car with more product in my hair then normal.

“Chico!” I screamed giddily walking into the diner.

“Matt,” he said walking over to me Matt as if there was an ‘h’ before the ‘a.’

“What movie did you want to see?” I asked.

“Can I git chaunged virst?” he asked.

“Sure, I’ll drive. Where we headed?”

“Off tweentee zecond,” he answered following me to my car “Nize car.”

“Thanks, it’s about fifty years old.” I laughed softly.

“Yuor welcuum,” he gave me a large smile.

“Your accent is so cute,” I squealed as I pulled onto his road “Which house is yours?”

“Um, dee white wun,” he said “Wit dee pink shutterz.” I laughed.

“You serious?” I asked and wrinkled his pierced nose.

“Yez,” he blushed.

“Let’s go,” I pulled into his driveway where two other cars sat.

“Me mum an dad are home, zo no funny buizness,” Chico winked which sent shivers through me.

“Dang your good,” I muttered to myself as I followed him into his two story perfectly made house.

We walked into his room, the walls were a deep red with black trim, all his wood furniture was painted black with red trim, magazines and CDs were all neatly stacked into little cubby holes and he had a sewing machine out with black and lime green cloth stuck into it.

“You make your clothes?” I asked

“Fuck yeah,” he muttered pulling off his shirt and throwing a green and white striped long sleeved shirt. His shirt had been spray painted in black on the back which read ‘Peta2.com.’

“Vegetarian?”

“Yez, yuo?” he asked pulling off hit khaki pants and pulling on loose black pants.

“Naw, but I think it’s a cool idea,” I took another look around his room, he had a lot of posters up. Some I’ve never even heard of.

“You like The Decent Gremlins?” I asked recognizing their singer on one of his pictures of him with the singer.

“Dezent Grimlinz?” he asked me with a raised eyebrow “Who’z zat?”

“That guy is their singer,” I said pointing at the picture of him.

“Oh, Zeke,” he mumbled “He’z me ex.”

“Oh, #1 why’d you guys break up and 2 he’s gay?”

“He’z bi an t’waz me fault,” Chico said sitting on his bed “I juzz dunno why.”

“Okay,” I said sitting next to him on his bed.

“Chico,” his mom came into his room, she was short and had many wrinkles her hair was turning gray.

“Aye mum,” he said as she walked in “Dis is Mhatt.” She nodded towards me then spoke to Chico in a language I couldn’t even identify. After Chico nodded and spoke back to her in the unidentifiable language, she walked out of the room.

“Lukz like ve got looky,” Chico said turning to me “Me mum an dad are going oot to eat.”

“So we’re home alone?” I asked hopeful good bad thoughts hitting my head, I mentally slapped myself.

“Yez,” he leaned closer “Wut do yuo wunt to do?”

“Anything,” and an evil smile grew across his face “You dirty boy.” He laughed at my comment.

“Note, I juzz broke up wit Zeke thiz may juzz be git back at Zeke kund of ting,” Chico said.

“I get it, I don’t want a commitment. You got to get that too,” I said thinking of Derek.

“Deel,” Chico said and he pushed me down against his bed.

The next morning I woke up to sun coming in through Chico’s window, he was sleeping next to me. I slowly removed his arm off me I looked at his closed eyes as I quietly climbed off the bed. I searched his floor through our clothes and finally found my pants and shirt, but couldn’t find my boxers. I shrugged and pulled my pants up and threw my shirt over my head. I glanced at his clock, eight o’clock exactly. After grabbing my shoes, I crept out of the house and out to my car where I drove home knowing Derek would have no idea. . .