Elna

Starting the eleventh grade this year made him feel closer to graduating, which is the goal of all school children, even if they have no idea of what life holds after that. Day dreaming about the things he read about, travel, mystery, adventure, science fiction, caused Zak to be eager for school to be over so he could begin to live some of those things, and to see the strange outside world. At his age, the possibilities seemed endless as he sat on the porch swing.1

His mind released his daydreams as he heard Tom say, “You been chasin’ all them other little girls in school, but there’s the prettiest girl in town”. Well, that proved that Tom knew nothing about him, since he didn’t date at all. Not that he hadn’t had opportunity, they were numerous, but he was too hard to please, also very shy. Glancing up, to see who Tom was referring to Zak was awestruck by the vision of beauty passing in front of him on the sidewalk. Not very tall, she was petite, with a trim figure; amply displayed by the light summer dress she was wearing, an outstandingly beautiful face and shoulder length, ash blond hair. Zak felt chills run through his body as she looked over at them, smiled and nodded her head. Too dumbfounded to speak, he just nodded back and heard his brother say, “Hey good lookin, what’s cookin?” Huh, thought he was a real ladies man. As she walked on by, Zak’s eyes followed her till she was out of sight. Regaining his senses, he wondered why he hadn’t seen her before. Thought he knew all the girls in town, how could he have missed the prettiest one? Finally coming down to earth, it came to him, and he knew a miracle had just happened, to him. A girl he had known for years and seen often, a girl he thought to be too young for him and kinda plain looking had suddenly been transformed into his dream princess, that one girl he had been waiting for all this time, the reason he had turned all the others down without even testing them, the girl he was already head over heels in love with and would, someday, marry, the girl he would devote the rest of his life to love and care for, the girl he felt sure God had just sent to him. And that girl was Odell’s younger sister, Elna, two years younger than they. While he was not looking, she had suddenly grown up; his heart was beating so hard he thought he would pass out with the thrill of it all. 2

Finding himself in a quandary, he didn’t know what to do. He was so shy it would be next to impossible to approach her directly, having no experience in such matters. He had a strong urge to chase after her then, but was frozen to his seat with shyness. He knew he would think of little else until he came up with a solution to his problem. He must have faith; God showed her to him, surely He would show him a way to win her love. As the days sped by, bringing the start of school closer, he thought of little else, and secretly observed her from a distance every chance he got. Noticing how graceful, charming and friendly she was, with an aura that screamed sexuality, he added all that to her beauty as he became more mesmerized. She had totally possessed him, and wasn’t even aware of it. Then a sudden fear came over him, what if she liked some other boy, what if she didn’t like him at all? Although concerned by such thoughts, he was comforted somewhat by the knowledge of how strict her parents were. Through his association with Odell, he had learned, quite innocently, that she wasn’t allowed to date. Seems they judged her to be too young for such goings on. A plan had begun to surface in his mind, and he began developing a plan to court her secretly, cause her to fall in love with a mystery admirer before coming forward. The promise of intrigue fascinated him3

School started that year, 1940 as usual, with the hustle and bustle of getting class assignments and procuring books. Since the state didn’t furnish books and his parents were struggling so hard just to maintain a decent standard of living, Zak managed to get his books by trading, and buying used books. Having earned some money during the summer, he had saved a little for that purpose, and making some good trades, it didn’t take it all. Knowing he must have a part time job to provide spending money, he also applied for a job as assistant to the janitor, and got it. He would be a glorified floor sweeper, a job no one else wanted, but he didn’t mind, it was honest work and nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, the job prevented him from dressing out for football, as he would have liked to do, since practice was in the same time slot as his work. He had become accustomed to disappointment and didn’t dwell on it.4

Other students had noticed his talent for drawing pictures and asked him to join the staff of the school paper. Zak was flattered, and accepted the offer and became the art director of the Tattler. Taking care of those duties during study hall period, he learned he could spy on Elna from the room occupied by the paper staff. The room was behind the auditorium (study hall) stage, and also doubled as a dressing room when a play or other activities needed it. As he was sweeping one day, he noticed that when the stage door was opened he could see the whole study hall from the room. They used another door usually, and he hadn’t realized it. Experimenting, he determined just how far he must open it to see Elna’s desk, and practiced opening it quietly, just enough to see it. He must be cautious because during the day a hall monitor sat at a desk in the center of the stage. Testing his scheme the next day, he found that it worked perfectly, and since the monitor stayed focused on test papers she was checking, she didn’t notice a thing. Since one of her study hall periods coincided with his own, the scheme was working, and Zak watched Elna rebuke the advances of first one boy, then another. This pleased him very much, and encouraged him to carry on with the plan. The plan he had devised was very simple, and his afternoon job enabled him to carry it out. Writing anonymous notes to her, he would place them in her desk, usually in a book he knew she must open first thing the next day, while he was sweeping the study hall. Trying to phrase the notes to be mysterious, he declared his love for her as well as his desire to be with her, and promised to eventually reveal himself. If he timed it right the following day, he might see her as she discovered the note, and was pleased to see her reaction. She would look all around to see if anyone was watching her, thinking she could catch the mystery man, then as she read the note she seemed puzzled but pleased. 5

Elna’s “secret lover” soon became the talk of the school, and Zak could tell that she was flattered by all the attention, as well as the notes. As he began receiving his pay, he would sometimes buy inexpensive gifts to leave with the note, and observed that the simplest kind of gift thrilled her. As time went on, he made the notes more loving and personal, though he was careful not to embarrass or insult her with anything risque. He knew if he tried to tell her those things, he would stumble over the words and make a mess of the whole thing because he was so shy. However, words came easy on paper and seemed to flow straight from his heart. No one, not even Zak knew how long he would have continued his silent courtship, if not for some of his friends finding him out. Once they began kidding him about it, he knew it would soon travel all over the school, and he didn’t want Elna to hear it from anyone but him, if she had not already. It was noised around so much that any boy showing an interest in her was warned by someone else to back off, cause she was Zak’s girl. Not that Zak was a bully; actually he got along with everyone and usually acted as the peacemaker, though he did have a reputation for being ready to defend himself. As a freshman, he had been accosted by the reigning school bully of the day, and after putting up with it for a period of time hoping the boy would stop pestering him, he had finally stood up to him one afternoon after school let out. The ensuing fight had lasted about ten minutes, with most of the students watching, until the bully finally had enough and ran home crying. Although bruised up some, Zak felt pretty good about it all, and no one had bothered him again. He had almost forgotten, apparently the others had not. 6

Waiting outside school for Elna to come out, Zak stopped her as she approached, looking at him questioningly. Greeting her casually, they started walking on and he asked if she knew who her secret admirer was. Looking at him with a puzzled expression she asked, “ No, do you”? As they walked on, Zak kidded her for a few moments longer, enjoying her eager curiosity, then admitted that it was he, and saw her puzzled look turn to one of disbelief as she said, “You’re kidding me”  Thinking back over their previous experience, with him not noticing her at all even though he saw her often, and the difference in their ages which seemed to matter more when they were younger, plus the fact that he was a junior while she was a freshman, he could understand why she was so shocked, so he tried to put her at ease. He apologized for keeping her in suspense for so long, explaining that he was too shy to come forward at first, and told her about him and his brother seeing her walking to town that particular day as well as what transpired after that. As he noticed that they were getting close to her house, he stopped and they faced each other as he said he had meant all the things in the notes and asked if she would date him. Regaining her composure somewhat, Elna said he would have been the last person she would suspect, and still couldn’t believe it, admitting shyly that she had had a crush on him for years but didn’t think he even knew she existed and had given up hope that he would ever notice her, and that she thought he was popular with the girls in his own class who were all prettier than herself, and that she was so pleased she didn’t know what to do, adding, “See, I’m babbling like an idiot now” at which they both laughed, easing the tension a bit. She then told him that she would love to date him, but her parents wouldn’t let her date till she was sixteen. Zak’s disappointment must have been showing as he told her so long and, as he turned to walk back to school, heard here say, “I’ll be in the park Saturday afternoon”. His heart soared as he returned to school, and work. Saturday was the day after tomorrow; it would be hard to wait.7

Saturday came and Zak fretted all morning and, in fact, he was so eager, he left for the park early. Sitting in a swing facing the direction from which he knew Elna would appear, he waited impatiently, his mind going over every word she had said at their last meeting. She had let it slip that she had liked him for a long time, don’t think she meant to say that right away but he was pleased and thrilled. Finally he saw her coming, a dream walking, with a girl friend. Seeing him, she paused and said something to the friend, then sat down on a bench as her friend continued on into the park. Zak hurried over and sat on the bench beside her and was suddenly shy and clumsy feeling in her presence, as she also seemed to be. He knew his feelings were showing in his face, but he couldn’t find his voice or think of anything to say. As they looked furtively at each other, and then away, he thought she was going to speak first, then decided it would be up to him. Much as he did when he walked her home the day before yesterday, he looked squarely at her, smiled and greeted her as he told her he was glad she came. Returning his smile, she said she was glad too, then the words flowed like water over a dam and flooded the atmosphere around them as they became oblivious to the rest of the world. By nature Zak was usually quiet and reserved and could hardly believe all that was pouring out of him as he found himself telling her of things in his life that he had never told anyone before. He was also thrilled at her confessions and dreams for the future as they rambled on and on. Zak could have listened to her all night, but she noticed the sun getting low in the western sky and said she must go. Reluctant to part, Zak walked her almost home, stopping before her parents were likely to see them. Turning to face each other, they searched each other’s eyes, looking for understanding of the mystery they were feeling, then touching hands briefly, they sadly went their separate ways. Sad to be parting but elated from the experience of the afternoon, they were already eager for their next meeting. 8

Zak returned to the park Sunday, played tennis all afternoon hoping she would appear, but she never did. Disappointed, he took comfort in the fact that he would see her the next day at school. Being in different grades, they had no classes together but he knew he could find her on the grounds during recess and lunch break. The school didn’t have a cafeteria as they do now, so most students brought a lunch from home and, weather permitting, would group with friends outside and eat. Zak knew he could find a place away from the groups, where they could continue to communicate and get to know each other better as they ate lunch. He was impatient for the time to pass.9

Elna was, in Zak’s eyes, the ideal of feminine beauty and grace. Although petite at five feet two inches in height, she was perfectly proportioned. The radiant beauty of her face, with it’s perfect bone structure, flawless skin, wide set hazel eyes highlighted by flecks of gold, straight small nose and cupid’s bow lips that shouted “kiss me”, and also smiled so sweetly that it melted his heart, plus shoulder length ash blond hair would have been enough. Now add to that, wide shoulders, erect carriage, hourglass figure, with all the curves in the right places, then try to imagine how gorgeous she was. Perfect, thought Zak, as though formed especially for him by some heavenly sculptor who knew what he desired more than he did. But wait, that’s not all, consider also her sweet disposition, outgoing personality, good nature, friendly manner, ready smile and pleasingly musical voice, and you have Elna, created by God especially for Zak. Or, at least, that’s how he saw her. Her attractiveness was also apparent by the many furtive looks and wolf whistles she attracted wherever she went. Even so, she was shy and unassuming, not seeing herself that way at all. Quite the opposite, Zak had to keep assuring her that he honestly saw her as beautiful and desirable. Female measurements were not bandied about in that time period as they are now, the moral standards being much stricter, but he would find out later that hers were an incredible 34-18-34. So passed the week, with a few stolen moments now and then, as they looked forward to the weekend when they would have a chance to arrange for more time together, they hoped.10

As the weekend approached, Zak could hardly wait for Saturday. As in most country towns, Waterton’s theater catered to kids on Saturday afternoons and every kid with a dime went to the picture show. He and Elna had already planned to meet there, and they did. After enduring the kidding from their friends good naturedly, they found seats in the back row and settled back to talk until the show started. As the house lights dimmed, signaling the beginning of the show, Zak went to the concession stand for popcorn and a coke. Sitting as close together as they could get, in spite of the chair arm between them, they shared the snack and laughed at the cartoons. Zak had never been so happy in his life, and Elna seemed to be enjoying herself also. After the cartoons and previews of coming attractions, the feature began and the boisterous kids began to quiet down and become involved it the magic of the silver screen. Settling back in his seat, Zak found Elna’s hand in the dark and they tried to get even closer together as he held it in her lap. Both of them were thrilled beyond words, shoulders touching, heads so close he could smell the fresh scent of her shampoo. He was convinced that he could feel her aura, like a halo of energy emitted by her body. The thrill of her closeness sent shivers throughout his body as he kept assuring himself that it was no dream, but he had to glance over at her occasionally to be sure, and she would look back at him and smile contentedly. Even though their hands became hot and sweaty, neither of them ever suggested parting them, until the house lights came up and the picture on the screen faded. Leaving the theater in a semi daze caused by looking at the bright screen for so long, it took several minutes for them to feel normal again as the walked toward Elna’s house. Zak didn’t walk her all the way home, but reluctantly said so long while they were still out of sight from the house, didn’t want to get her in trouble with her mother. 11

They were thrilled when Elna’s mother gave her permission for Zak to call on her, although she wouldn’t call it dating. Of course there were rules, the strictest one being they must be chaperoned, and I’ll bet you can guess who the chaperone would be. That’s right, her Mom. When Zak “called”, they would sit on the davinett in the living room, not too close and never touching, as her Mom sat in a rocking chair nearby pretending to read or sew. Both embarrassed by her Mom’s presence, they talked of impersonal things, happenings at school and the subjects they were studying. At times they would pretend to study, with Zak helping her with homework so they could pass personal notes and occasionally touch hands fleetingly. In spite of the strict rules and their embarrassment, they were thrilled by each others presence. It was as if they could communicate their feelings without words or touch, Zak had never experienced anything like it before and was awed by the feelings he was having. After a time of that kind of courting, her Mom gave permission for them to go to the picture show together Friday nights, probably thinking that there were lots of chaperones there. Since she had never been to the theater, apparently she was unaware of the things that went on in the back row at times. However she set a curfew that barely gave them time to walk home after; no matter, they were both excited at the prospect of being out together at night.12

The following Friday night, Zak called for Elna at her house and they walked to town, wasn’t quite dark yet, but enjoyable anyway. Darkness was settling in as they arrived at the theater and their excitement increased as Zak bought the tickets. After a stop at the concession stand, they were lucky enough to find seats in the back row and over by the side wall, couldn’t get more private in a crowded theater. As was the case with most small town theaters, there was no balcony; neither had they ever heard of such a thing. As usual, they sat close and held hands, only this time it felt different, maybe because it was night and they were looking forward to walking home in the dark together. It took so little to make them happy. Telling it now, it seems to be much too innocent to be enjoyable, which shows how far we have distanced ourselves from the simple pleasures of a time long gone, and almost forgotten. Zak had no idea he was such a romantic. and if anyone had accused him of such a thing he would have been insulted. In reality, the walk home in the moonlight, with a soft breeze blowing was very romantic. They held hands, speaking words of endearment to one another, hips touching occasionally as they walked as close together as possible. Neither of them felt the need of anything more, for the present at least, as they continued to bond. Their love and devotion grew stronger each time they looked at one another, and each could see the love in the others eyes. It was a wonderful night, magical almost. Arriving at Elna’s house all too soon, hating to see the evening come to an end, they stopped at the porch steps and turned to face each other. Intending to say goodnight and that he had a good time and then sadly go home, Zak was suddenly paralyzed as he beheld Elna’s beauty bathed in the moonglow, so lovely he never wanted to stop looking. Elna was looking back at him with a puzzled expression, a half smile on her luscious lips, when a sudden impulse took control of Zak and he quickly leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. It wasn’t a long kiss but it made his heart leap in his chest, as he felt cold shivers run through his body. Kinda frustrated by his impulsive act, he mumbled, “Good night, I love you”, and watched as she turned and ran into the house. He didn’t know it at the time, but she was stunned also, too stunned to even answer his good night. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought a mere kiss could be so thrilling. He had kissed other girls, at children’s parties and the like, but it was nothing like this. Zak didn’t remember the walk home, must have floated there on the same cloud he was on when he went to bed. Do you remember your first kiss of love?13

...by jean ruff14