"Oh no! I'm late! That's the third time!" 14-year-old Karon said as she was running home from McDonalds.
"My mom is going to kill me!" he ran across the street, and ran to her house. Her house was old. It was 796 years old to be exact.
Everyone always wondered why that house is still standing, even when the house is almost 800.
Anyways, Karon ran up the stairs, and then stepped on her porch. She took a deep breath. Maybe if she was lucky, her mom was working late today. But she's not psychic. She doesn't know If her Mom's home or not. And if she is, what is she going to do to Karon?
Karon slowly stepped inside her house. She looked inside the living room. Her mom is not in there. Then, she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. The kitchen!
Karon wanted to go upstairs to her room, but her room is the basement, and the only way to get to the basement was...in the kitchen.
"Maybe she's giving me a break today." Karon though as she slowly walked through the living room, and into the kitchen. She saw her mom chopping carrots with her long, sharp, kitchen knife on the counter.
Karon tip toed into the kitchen, the wooden floor making little squeaky sounds.
"Darn this house." Karon thought as she saw the door to her basement. It was 30 feet away from Karon's mom was standing.
Karon thought that she was not going to get hit by her mother today, that her mom was giving her a break, when she turned the knob to the basement door. It was locked.
"Oh no." Karon muttered.
"Karon." Her Mom said. Her voice was usually sweet, but when she talks to Karon, her voice would be serious.
"Didn't I tell you that you were supposed to come home at exactly 4:00?" Her mom asked.
"...Y-Yes." Karon stuttered, shaking from her knees down.
"It's 4:42. 4:42!" Then, her Mom chuckled. I gulped. What is she going to do to her?
"Karon, you know what happens when you DON'T listen to me." Karon's mom said. She got out an ironboard, and an iron. She turned on the iron, hot steam came out of the iron.
Karon's eyes were watering.
"Lay down." Her mom ordered.
"You mean...on the floor, right?"
"No...on the ironboard."
I slowly got on the ironboard, and layed down on it.
Karon's mom was still holding the iron. Then, Karon saw that the iron was approaching to her. karon could feel the hot steam running across her face.
The iron was on Karon's arm. And she chose today to wear an orange short sleeved T-shirt. Karon felt the stinging pain on her right arm. She told her Mom to stop, but the pleading didn't work.
Five minutes later, Karon ran to her room, crying her head off. She was on her small matress (No blanket, no sheets, no pillow. Her mom took those things away last time when Karon didn't follow one of her Mom's rules: Brush your teeth every morning and night).
Karon looked at her right arm in horror. It was red....and not the good kind of red either.
Karon groaned as she looked at the pictures of her Mom and her. There was a picture of Karon's mom almost strangling Karon! that was back when she was five!
"Why is she doing this to me?" Karon couldn't take it anymore. She's going to do something that she should've done a long time ago: run away.
It was almost 5:30 when Karon was packing her stuff into her medium sized brown bag. the bag was made out of leather.
Karon was packing her stuff that was important to her. Boxes of crackers and cheese, ham, salami, $347 dollars (I don't know how she got so many greens), lipstick, eyeliner, foundation, nail polish, body soap, toothbrush, blankets, and her PJ's.
"I'm all set." Karon said. She was about to touch her wooden bedroom door, when she realized that her Mom was downstairs, watching TV in the living room!
She'll get caught!
Then, she looked out her window. She had an idea. She threw her bag out the window, and it landed on the ground. Don't worry. The backyard window is in the kitchen, and the front of the house window was in the living room (where Karon's mom was). So, Karon's mom didn't heard anything, except for the TV.
Karon jumped out of her bedroom window a minute after she threw her bag of stuff out of her bedroom window first.
She landed safely on the ground, because it was a five foot drop.
She grabbed her bag of stuff. Then, she threw it over her backyard fence. Then, she jumped over the fence. Her bag of stuff met again on the other side of her house, on the sidewalk. She stared at her house.
"Goodbye, house...14 years of being abused, 14 years of putting up with my Mom, but now...I'm free..."
She was crying, but they were tears of joy.
"I'm free, I'm free, I'M FREEEEE!" Karon grabbed a rock and threw the rock at her bedroom window. Karon heard the rock crashing through her window. She laughed as she grabbed her bag, and ran across the street, and into the woods.
EPILOUGE...
Karon lived in the woods, where she was free from her Mom. Karon still went school. Everyone was shocked that Karon came to school, because according to the TV that she was lost. Immediately after school, she would run to the woods, her new home. She slept on trees, and she took baths from the lake in the woods. She had plenty of food, plenty of money, but then, one day, she ran out of food and money, and she eventually stopped going to school (She was too weak). She survived 35 days without food or water. On the 35th day, she was walking slowly in the woods, looking for food and water, when suddenly, she collapsed from starvation.
Karon died that day. She was 17 years old, a day shy from graduating from High School, if she didn't drop out that is. Her weight before she died weighing 84 pounds! She used to be 5'9", and 129 pounds, but she lost weight, and before she died, she was 5'5".
At least she died knowing that she was free from her violent Mom. Her mom had cut her, hit her, and even strangled her (Karon blacked out for a few minutes). Now, Karon will rest in peace, as she is now in Heaven, a place where she is not abused, but...is treated nicely.
A contest entry
- Tell me a story by Pray For Me.
166 points, ended January 24, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is really good. though i think to make it better you could word things differently.
ex. 'she landed saftely on the ground, because it was a five foot drop.' instead why not try something like 'she landed saftely after the five foot drop from her window'. something like that. if you word it differently it wont sound like you have to explain everything ever time you need to. but its just a suggestion.
anyways this is an amazing story. i loved it. i loved the idea. but it got kind of unrealistic at the end. it wouldnt have been possible to survive 35 days without food or water. but this is a really good story though.
good job and keep up the amazing work.
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Hmmm this is a pretty old story but whatever. Comments never hurt =] Liked the idea and plot. Should've elaborated a little bit more and there were pretty far stretched things at the end but haha still I liked it =]
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This is a sad little piece that you've written, and the horrible part is that this is a reality that is happening to some of the youth in this world. Trivial stuff such as brushing one's teeth and being late are two things any child could speak to a mother about, but this mom is... I have no words to describe her evil actions. Sadly, I cannot do anything to help all the children tormented by those who should be protecting them.
I'd like to believe in the notion of heaven, but it is hard to believe in something that would happen in the afterlife (I mean, who CAN prove if it exists?
but then again, this is a different topic, hehe)... Heaven is a nice thought, a comforting one, especially to those seeking an escape from their cruel fates. But I hope that unlike Karon, the abused children would not have to end up in heaven to experience how it's like to be treated nicely..
Although your work was able to move me and touch my emotions, there are some things you have to work on. Like, in the second paragraph, there is a slight typo error, which got me wondering if Karon was indeed a guy OR girl. And a little before the ironboard part, you switched from 3rd person POV to first persn. But then, those are small errors, which you could change. I hope this did not come off as a flame, which it is NOT. Good luck with writing and this contest!
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it was a great story
the abuse was horrible, of course, but you described it well, as if you had lived through it yourself, the last paraghraph was nice -
thiswas really sad but im glad she ran a way whay didn't she go get help and turned her mom in thats what i dont understand were was the father at but all in all very good writting and detail good job comic
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i have never read something so sad in my life she should have told someone what her mother did to her i wish she would have told some one becaue may be someone like the police would have put her so called bad mother in prison for the rest of her life people like that need to die before there children kill there self or there parents kill them this story really mad me cry keep up the awsome work i love this one i really do
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Abuse stories.
Why abuse someone who is not brushing their teeth twice daily. This is abusing yourself not to brush and in years ahead when ya teeth get in bad repair you will have no one to blame but yourself. If you know you are late you must face the music or talk about a later curfew or make arrangements. But I fear her Mom was not the kind to discuss such details.
In this situation anyone would be forced to run away. The school people should have done something. She should have talked to someone. It seems the mother did nothing about her living in the woods and did not even care.
It is a sad story. Kids have to live like this and still have to grow up as best they can and get on with their lives if they can. But in Karon's case she did not survive. -
amateurish and lacks continuity. please explain to me how she threw her bag of stuff out of the bedroom window, a bedroom located in the basement, but it was a 5ft drop
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That's horrible (good write though)! I can't tolerate people who abuse their children! Two of my best friends commit suicide because of the abuse their parent's inflicted on them! That's horrible how someone can treat someone else in that manner. WEll I liked the details in the story. It was a great read Comic.
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Thank you for entering my contest. It was a very good piece of writing. I enjoyed reading this story. I almost feel sorry for her, for I think she suffered more from the hands of her mother than I suffer from my brother's hands. I was kind of shocked that Karon's mom had cut her. At first, I thought Karon would be the one to commit self-harm than her mother cutting her. It's different from me, but still great. I know from a personal experience that a victim of abuse would cut themselves. In this story, It has been approached differently. Great job. Keep writing.
October
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