Not too bright

Christmas was nearing and a thin blanket of snow decorated the lawns and rooftops of my relatively quiet neighborhood. I was now at the age of opportunity. I had defined my daring instincts, perfected my snide remarks, ensured my reputation and, with my friends, soared to the heights of stupidity. I was Thirteen. The night was quiet, the air invitingly cold and the agenda.... empty. The conditions seemed to breathe excitement into our young, restless bodies urging us to escape the warmth of the fire and venture into the streets. 'we're going to go for a walk' we innocently told Andy's mother as we tromped out the door, but we knew better. Although we had no particular plans, the fact that Matt, Darrin, Andy, Cromar and I were out together on a night like this guaranteed us more than a mere stroll around the block.

We hadn't traveled but two houses away when Matt introduced us to our means of entertainment for the evening. We could always count on Matt. We watched anxiously as he crept to the side of the Dugdale's house and unscrewed a couple burnt out Christmas lights. Within seconds he released the bulbs into the crisp air. We were already cheering inside as we watched the the bulbs streak pass us and smash onto the cold asphalt. The simple popping sound that was generated from the collision was music to our ears. Instantly our eyes began scanning the bright, colorful strands of lights that were strung across nearly every yard in close proximity, longing for a break in the pattern, searching for that dark spot amongst the flowing color revealing a burn out. For to us a burnt out bulb was priceless. It was our link to rationalization. Nobody will miss this bulb. It's not doing any good just sitting there. It will have to be replaced anyway, we told ourselves.

However, the supply of burnt out bulbs became very scarce. Just as we thought our fun was coming to a close, Matt once again caught our attention. There he was in someone's yard, busily unscrewing a strand of perfectly good Christmas lights. We were appalled at his behavior. How could he do such a thing? Where were his morals? He had sunk beyond innocent fun and into a life of crime.... and yet, he had bulbs to smash and we didn't.

Darrin and Cromar were fast to see the rewards of the deed and soon joined Matt in his evil crusade. Andy and I would not give in. We were strong. We continued to look for burnt out bulbs. I spotted a dark bulb across the yard. As I unscrewed the bulb I watched as Darrin snatched three lighted ones from the opposite strand. In a rush of rebellion I quickly unscrewed a live bulb and darted away from the scene. I had been lured into a heartless charade of selfish desires and soon anything that illuminated was our prey.

We decided to round up some of our other friends to join in on our rampage. We soon acquired Jeremy, Chad and Lee. As we were leaving Lee's house, Matt was ready for something more adventurous. He proposed we all smash our lights on someone's doorstep and run. By this point we were past feeling and readily embraced his idea. We approached the next duplex available and unleashed our ammunition. The intensity shot like lightning through my veins as the almost worshiped sound leapt from the shattered glass. We sped a way with excitement in every step. As we ran Matt began throwing his remaining bulbs like an insane man. He released a victory roar as his lights smashed into the unsuspecting homes.

We all assembled on the lawn of Cromar's house as it was just around the corner. We boasted of our accomplishments of the evening. Just then we heard a faint voice calling to us, and a figure coming toward us from the darkness. 'It's Vanessa!' someone shouted, 'Let's go tease her!' Vanessa was a girl in our neighborhood and an easy target for ridicule. We began to walk towards her when what we saw jolted us to a stop.

It was not Vanessa, It was Lee held tightly by a large man and our eyes soon focused on the long, silver blade pressed tightly against Lee's throat. The man quickly warned us, 'Stay where you are or this kid gets it.' Lee's eyes were filled with terror. We all stood there quietly. When he reached us he released Lee whom quickly found his way to the back of the crowd. 'Why were you throwing things at my house?' the man demanded. 'We didn't do anything' Matt protested. As soon as the words left his mouth, a solid fist slammed into his ribs sending him backward into me. No one else dare say a word. He made us all get down on our knees. Holding the knife in the air he then said, 'This is your destiny. I am going to come back in five minutes and I better not find any of you around here.' With that he turned around and walked away. We all promptly said our goodbyes and headed straight home. As I went inside, my parents inquired 'What did you do tonight?' 'Just walked around' I responded and went to bed.

My blood ran cold as I awakened to the sound of the phone ringing. I knew in an instant who it was. Lee's parents informing mine of the events that nearly led to disaster. I prepared myself for the lecture of my life as heard my dad hang up the phone. I indeed got that lecture and in the morning was escorted to the homes we had disturbed to apologize. Boy, had I learned my lesson. I never saw that man again, but from that time on every felon I saw on America's Most Wanted bore a mysterious resemblance. My friends and I were not by any means totally reformed but we never smashed people's light bulbs again. And perhaps the most amazing side effect of all that transpired that night was that none of us, not even Matt, teased Vanessa anymore.