In a little house, with a pretty garden, lived a little girl called Tara. She lived with her mother, father and grandmother. They all loved her very much and gave her all that she asked for. She had all kinds of toys and lovely picture books and video games and a television, a video a dvd player and a play station 2 in her room. So one would think that Tara would be a very happy child, but was she? No! She was not! She only wanted more and more and if she didn’t get what she wanted, she did something you would never do. Why, she threw a tantrum and it was the worst tantrum you ever heard! She would yell and scream and stamp her feet till she got what she wanted. Of course everyone who knew her family called her Tantrum Tara or troublesome Tara, though they never did it in front of her parents for her parents were nice people and everyone liked and respected them. 1
One day, Tara’s mother wanted to go to the market. She told Tara to stay at home with her grandmother and be a good girl. Tara too wanted to go to the market with her mother and as usual she started yelling and screaming. Now just that day some fairies had come to live in a little hole in the tree outside the window. They were tired after shifting the furniture and they had settled down to take a nap, when suddenly, they were rudely disturbed by Tara’s screams. When the fairies discovered the reason for the noise, they decided to teach Tara a lesson. Tara’s mother finally got tired of the screaming and decided to take Tara with her, to the market. Though Tara and her mother could not see them, the fairies were following them to the market.2
When they reached the market Tara’s mother headed for the butcher’s shop but Tara wanted to go to the pet shop. She cried and screamed till her mother gave in as usual and took her to the pet shop. There, Tara saw a beautiful fish, it was blue and red and yellow and green, Tara watched in fascination as the fish swam here and there in the tank and she wanted it at once but her mother did not have enough money to buy it, as it was a rare tropical fish and cost a lot of money. Tara opened her mouth and started screaming but suddenly it appeared to her, that the fish had started growing and growing and growing till it almost took up the whole shop. “ Take me home with you Tara, I want to go home with you” the fish said to her “and when you are asleep I will eat you”. Of course, the fairies were playing a trick on her and the fish hadn’t really grown, so her mother and the shopkeeper couldn’t see anything strange. The shopkeeper was a kind man and as he knew Tara's mother, he told her that she could take the fish and pay him later. But Tara was so scared after seeing the fish grow that she started trembling and crying and told her mother “ lets go away from here”. Of course, her mother was surprised at this strange behaviour but she took Tara and went to the butcher’s shop. 3
For a while Tara was quiet, but just as her mother was about to enter the grocer’s shop, Tara saw the sweet shop across the road and started screaming again “I want sweets, I want sweets, I want them NOW”. Well, her poor mother had to cross the road and take her to the sweet shop. Unknown to them the fairies too followed. Well, just as Tara opened her mouth to say what she would like, the sweets appeared to have faces and very ugly ones too. They appeared to Tara to be jumping up and down in their jars and growling and snarling at her. 4
“Take us home with you Tara, do take us home and we will be the ones who bite you and suck you and chew you, do, do take us home you tasty little girl”.5
Well, you can imagine what a nasty shock Tara got. “No, no”, she ran out screaming, “No, don’t eat me”. Her mother was totally mystified by this behaviour. She did her best to quiet Tara down and then continued with her shopping. Tara was very quiet for a time and let her mother finish her shopping in peace. It was a nice sunny day. Everything around was normal and soon Tara started thinking that maybe she had imagined everything. Soon, she was sure that nothing had happened and it had only been her imagination. Well, just as her mother said “Tara, I’ve finished my shopping and we can go home now”. Tara saw a toyshop and wanted to go there. “ Tara dear, I really don’t have much money left but as you have been a good girl for most of the time, you can buy something small” said her mother. Tara went inside the shop and where Tara went the fairies followed. 6
Tara saw a beautiful doll in the shop. It had the sweetest smile, long curly golden hair, blue eyes and she almost came up to Tara’s shoulder. The minute Tara saw that doll she knew she had to have it. She told her mother “I want that doll”. Her mother didn’t have enough money for the doll, as it was an expensive one. Once more Tara started her screaming. By now the fairies were quite sick and tired of her and decided that she really needed to learn a bigger lesson. They waved their magic wands and the dolls smooth pink cheeks changed and became ugly and scarred, Her golden hair became black and spiky and stood up on end, her sweet smile became an ugly sneer. “ Ha Ha Ha” laughed the doll. The sound was terrible to hear and would have scared a much older person. “ Ha ha ha, You want to take me home do you?” and the doll started walking towards her. Tara was scared and turned to run from the shop but the doll caught her round the waist and held her hard. The doll had grown taller than Tara and she was also very strong. Tara struggled to go free but she couldn’t. She started sobbing and said “ Let me go, let me go” but the doll only held her tighter. As her mother couldn’t see any of this she couldn’t understand Tara’s behaviour at all. The doll said to Tara “I’m coming home with you Tara, I will sleep with you and eat with you, I will play with you and I will break all your toys. I like nothing better than to pull the arms and legs out of dolls and to pull out their hair and to break every toy. If you stop me I will pinch you and slap you and pull out your hair.” “No” said Tara, “ I don’t want you to come home with me”. “Well,” said the doll “You are a spoilt little girl Tara and you trouble your nice parents and grandmother by screaming and shouting and asking for everything. I think I’ll come with you and punish you every time you do that”. “No”, said Tara “ You don’t have to do that, I promise you I will be a good girl from now on and I’ll never trouble my parents again”. “Well”, said the doll “ We will see, remember if you break your promise you will find me in your house, I will come and never leave again”. 7
Suddenly everything became normal, the doll became the same pretty, pink faced, toy she was. “Tara, Tara, whatever’s the matter with you dear?” asked her mother. “ Are you quite all right dear?” For a moment Tara wondered if she had imagined everything but then she heard a whisper in a horrible voice “Remember your promise Tara”. Well, Tara was not going to break her promise. She looked at her mother and smiled rather feebly, “I am all right mother, I don’t want any toy, let us go home”. From that day Tara was a changed person and her parents, grand mother and of course the fairies in the tree outside the window lived in peace. Soon, nobody called her Tantrum Tara anymore. 8
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Great story! heheh, I think this story has a meaning behind it.. something like.. Just becuase you cant get something you dont want, you still have loads of other toys.. or something like that.. I am going to applud this cos its fab. Great background by the way
pinkwhite oxoxox -
Wonderful
A wonderful story - and I will read it to my grandchildren for sure. . . but I must admit I cut and pasted it to a nice white page with a black font and set it to a left margin to make reading easier on my tired eyes – Although the lovely pictures are really attentive for a graphic setting and would go well in a printed book. – I hope you are planning a children’s book as you have a wonderful gift - Albert -
Oh this is cute! Reminds me of the girl in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who turned into a blueberry! LOL. Love fairy tales. Always a lesson to be learned. With children you must start the "no's" long before they get out of hand. So, I guess I somewhat blame the parents for always giving in... I know it is hard, cause the kids are so cute and innocent and they really think they need these things.
Enjoyed the read. I would change "stamp her feet" to "stomp her feet," but I think that is just a personal preference..
Blessings and *stomps -
lol poor boys. yes I grew up on Blyton very few indian kids of my time who received an english medium education actually missed out on her it was like harry potter is now I even had my first crush on Fatty (was always jealous of the attention he gave beth and dont you go telling my hubby that) actually the five find outers were my favourite then I read the whole lot again fairy tales, school stories, mysteries adventure all when I bought them for my elder daughter. we still have them
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I LOVE fairy stories!! This was wonderful!!
Have you ever read any Enid Blyton?? She was my favourite author when I was little. She wrote The Magic Faraway Tree Stories and The Famous Five Stories, amongst many others. This reminded me of her stories, so much!
I must read this to my boys they will love it… & it might do them a bit of good too!
The background you have made is perfect for this.
VERY well done Pari… excellent in fact! I enjoyed that very much!
Love Lou ..xx
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this is a good morality tale for any victims of spoiled-rotten rugrats to use on their brats.
Edited on Apr 06, 2:26 p.m. because ''. -
i enjoyed this story....send the pairies to my house please!!!
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Thanks UB I was just lucky to get the right pics
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Oooohh, i am really liking this background! You make some of the cutest ones i have ever seen.
UB
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What an absolutely wonderful childrens tale. and what a good moral to it. I really liked it..
Well done....I can imagine children happily sat enthralled listening to this and stories like it.
Ann
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This is a great story with a wonderful moral. You don't often see tales like these anymore - takes me back to my childhood when I used to read Enid Blyton, her tales always had a little moral in them! I will defo make sure that my children read her books - when I have them that is
Again, well done!
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Thank you so much Avavel for such an indepth critique. I appreciate it a lot and will try to edit according to your suggestions.
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You have a very good basis for a wonderful kid's tale. There is a good setting, magical possibilites and of course, the much needed moral.
When I read tales like this I try to critique them from two very different standpoints: the parent/guardian/babysitter reading them, and the child listening. Now, you can't fall back on eye catching illustrations here, but there are other things that one must consider.
Take the repetition of your piece. It is very atypical of the classical fairytale. However, from experience, it's often helpful to cut out the descriptions of basic things like walking (to the market) and lists of similar words ("screaming and crying and mumbling" all in the same sentence). Focus more on the imagery of the piece that tends to stick in young children's minds... like the colors of the fish you mentioned. In general, one looks to cut down wordiness simply because it isn't needed, but in the case of literature for younger children, you are simply looking to cut it down to a third grade thought level. Not necessarily reading level, but something that is short and to the point (without being dry) helps not only your younger audience's shorter attention span, but the narrator or voice of your piece (the most likely exhausted parent).
Best of luck with your writing, nice job.
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OK
I had hoped for a bit of a curve ball at the end, but I guess it's OK as is. Gonna write just a little bit o' jibberish here to grab a full point. Recommendation: in the sequel, shoot for a little irony in the ending. -
Oh!! Wonderful! A fantastic story with a bit of a moral to boot. I cannot wait to read this one to Angelica. She is at that age where...though she does not throw tantrums...she seems to think the world is hers for the having. lol. Another great read! Those smart fairies!
UB
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