"What would you say if I kissed you?" Aki starred at the boy in front of her. He had blonde hair and dark ocean blue eyes.
"I'd say are you insane! You’re beautiful you could have any guy you want why me." His name was John; he was a bad student who got horrible grades.
"John I love you. I have since we were kids." Aki moved a step closer to him.
"I'm sorry Aki but I could never love you." John turned around and started to walk away, but Aki screamed after him.
"John wait, please. Is it because we're family!?"
"Yes Aki you’re my sister I would never think of you that way. How could you even think of me that way! I love you but not like that."
"John if you wont think of me that way. I'll kill myself I swear!!"
"I..."
John out of the corner of his eye saw a semi truck heading his way he’d rather die then see his sister die or them be together. He smiled at her but ht5en turned and jumped in front of the truck. Blood was everywhere and Aki was screaming. The next day she bought a gun held it to her head.
“I’m coming John.”
The sound of the gun echoed throughout the house. Then silence.
A contest entry
- Beginning Sentance by VioletStrike.
110 points, ended January 2, 2007, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Well...
Comments
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It's a good story with poor structure, is the best that I could say. Maybe polish it before the judging?
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Yeah i wasnt able to finish it but its done now.
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It was good at the beginning. But it kind of came to an abrupt halt. Plus, there were several glaring grammar mistakes. I'm a real stickler on that stuff. You could have taken it somewhere great.
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