Months…no, years have passed since I dared write something again. Will I be able to bare my soul…expose myself, my feelings, or will this article have the same fate as the others did while I was going through the most terrible phase of my life?
Deleted, as if erasing it would make the scars disappear.
Rani, that’s the name my mother gave me when I was born. Rani, an Indian Queen…ha, the irony of it! If she only knew then what my fate would be, maybe she wouldn’t have made this blunder.
I was born a builder’s daughter, a part of an affluent family in Pune, India. And that’s the city I grew up in 22 years of my life, loving its wada-pavs and bhel puri, its ‘cutting chai' (slang for 1/2 cup tea) under make-shift tin roofed canteens….its beautiful greenery during monsoons and the scorching 2 months of summer. I loved the city. It was big enough to explore and small enough to not be too intimidating. I knew its hidden roads, its maddening traffic, its people. I was content, waiting for my ‘Mills and Boon’ man in shining armor dream to come true. That’s when I met Rohan…
The day I saw him I felt the earth sweep me off my feet. Was this love? Was it indeed him, the man I was waiting for all my life? He smiled understanding my forbidden and hidden thoughts and charmed his way into my life. We were married within a year. I was considered lucky. ‘The first girl amongst her friends to get married,’ said my grandmother proudly, ‘why, the proposal came right at our doorstep.” Marriage in my family was considered the single most important goal for every young girl. And I felt I had achieved my aim. I closed my eyes to bask in the glory of utter bliss…and that’s when the nightmare began.
“You are so clumsy. Don’t you know how to stay well groomed? Didn’t your mother teach you anything?” said Rohan in an irritated tone. He was sitting in his old faded, tattered pajamas, unshaven. I clenched my scarf nervously, feeling hurt. Nobody till date had ever accused me of being unkempt. I will start taking more care of my appearance, I resolved, hurt, but realizing that I couldn’t take myself for granted anymore.
“Why don’t you try this product?” He tossed a ‘Fair and Lovely’ fairness face cream tube towards me one day. “Maybe it will make you look a tad bit fairer,” he said referring to my wheatish complexion. I picked it up, shattered, my self-confidence diving deeper and deeper into oblivion. “Can you for once cook decent food,” he screamed, throwing his plate onto the floor. What was it about me that he liked before? Why did he marry me if he didn’t consider me attractive enough? He didn’t seem to like anything about me now. Thoughts raced through my head as I heard him make snide remarks about my features, my body and my personality. He is doing this to make me a better person I frantically tried to convince myself. Days turned into months, months into a year. I stayed immersed in housework, confining myself within the four walls of my home. The world didn't matter to me any more. I almost stopped eating food due to depression and ended up having frequent faint spells. But Rohan didn't notice. He was oblivious to my pain.
A letter lay on the table.
For Rohan,
With love,
Sarika
Who is Sarika? My whole body trembled as I read that scrawny handwritten lines again and again. My worst fears were about to come true. “I want a divorce. I can’t live with you anymore,” said Rohan seeing me stare at the piece of paper like a lunatic. ‘W…w…what?” I stammered, begging him to stay. That just firmed his resolve even further. ‘Sarika works in my company. She is smart, confident and ambitious, the kind of person I can relate to. Please relieve me of this burden. I can’t live with you any more.” He flung divorce papers at me. And everything went blank.
I woke up staring at i v tubes, my mother by my side, a worried look on her face, and Rohan pacing up and down impatiently, the same legal documents in his hands. He saw me get up and came towards me hurriedly. “Please sign this. I have to show your approval to Sarika or she will leave me tomorrow.” I felt a sudden calm engulf me. Sarika, whoever she is, may deserve this monster, but not me. I calmly took the papers from his hands and signed where I was asked. A year later we were legally divorced. I was free to live my life again on my own terms.
Today I am celebrating my 26th birthday. I am not averse to love and marriage. But I am in no rush. Not till I meet my ‘Mr. Right’. For now, I am single and happy.
I cut a piece of the cake my colleagues bring in front of me and share it with my boss of 2 years. ‘Happiness always’ reads the message on the cake. And happy I am…Rani, the queen of my own destiny. Maybe my mother wasn’t that wrong after all!
Author notes
A story about a young girl who sees her simplistic dreams shatter in front of her eyes making her life alter drastically. How does she cope with her pain? Do read the story to find out.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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It seems you were not happy with my comment. you deleted it....... Not Fair, but, seems from your attitude you never were
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nice little peice. very emotional. i liked it. sry bout this comment lol. i cant think of anything to say...haha. good story though i liked it.
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Thanks
Thanks a ton. your appreciation acts as motivation enough for me to want to pick up a pen and start writing another piece. I am glad u liked it.
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Really touching. Very well written.
You kept it simple and poured real emotion into this peice.
I really enjoyed this piece.
The pacing of it was relaxed yet...intense at the same time.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks!
Thanks so much for the wonderful comments. Motivates me to write more.
Charoo
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Your story really kept me engaged till the end. Though, it's a simple story, it is intensely sensitive at a deeper level. The reader can feel the story for you have executed it in a direct, honest tone that is capable of touching the heart at once. The end really has a message to give. Thats where you succeed with the story!! Keep it up!!!
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Thanks so much for the encouraging feedback. This really is one of my first attempts at short story. I am glad you liked it.
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This is an amazing story, and I say this with genuine enthusiasm. It has a taste of the Indian culture that draws the reader in, but it involves a conflict that any young girl can relate to: a common dream of meeting and marrying "Mr. Right". Everyone wants to live happily ever after.
I can see a few grammatical errors, like a missing comma on a couple of instances, but that is all. Good work with this! -
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Really appreciate your taking time out to read and comment on my work. Will be more careful about typos though. Haven't been able to plug any though i have reread this story. But will surely give it another read. I am really glad you liked it.
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Hmm... I still think you should have explained that the iv was there because of... malnutrition? Because if you weren't looking really close, you might not see it
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It's very good, and I love the names. I'm assuming you set this in the real world... but I've never heard any of these names before. They're cool.
At the beginning, I think you may have laid it on a little heavy, but the tone became more comfortable towards the early-middle. Also, you never explained why, exactly, she was in the hospitol. Fainting in shock doesn't get you an IV.
All in all, well done, but I really would like to see the last bit explained a bit more clearly. -
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you may be right. i v is not given to someone who just faints due to shock. I did try adding a bit more to the story to justify the i v given. thanks for taking the time out to read and critique my work.
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This was good. At the beginning it seemed that she was maybe a young writer waiting for the eyes of the world to read her work and then I started to see where the lack of self confidence came from. When you introduce Rohan I thought 'there is something behind this man'. The marriage came on to fast.
Well I hope my impressions of this story were right. I was interested throughout the whole story. Nice flow and the pace was steady. I loved the way you describe Pune, India. I almost want to see it.
Again well done.
~*Brooke*~
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Thanks so much for your feedback. I am glad you enjoyed reading it. Your impression of the story is totally accurate. Its about getting on with ur life no matter how many times u fall. In this case, a rushed marriage.
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this was a good story, for me it seemed a little rushed but it was still a very good story...yeah
chrissy M
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thanx
Thanks Chrissy for ur feedback. Highly appreciate it.
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Very good.
I really enjoyed this piece.
Well written with the pacing just spot on holding the reader in from start to finish.
Once again very well done and keep up the good work.
I have written a few pieces
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