You can always try again

I laid for days in bed with Teal. We would sleep and wake, and sometimes we ate. We talked about what we would do with our money- all the things we could suddenly do.

For the first time in three years, I felt awake.

I felt like maybe I didn't have to stay this way, hotel room to hotel room

Man to man.

Skyler stirred awake next to me, he opened his eyes, those beautiful eyes, and he said to me,

"Shortcake, how did you get here? Why did you stay?"

A great silence came between us then, I thought for a long time, and he just looked at me, all forgiveness and heat against my side. Finally, I decided to tell him.

"I started ging around with this boy, a few years back. Nothing serious," I paused, watching his face for dissapointment that I was that stupid.

"One day I just didn't go home. And that turned into a week, and then a month. And after that, I just figured I couldn't go back."

He did not look like he thought I was stupid, though I knew I was.

Four years of this when there was a home to go back too.

Teal laid with me ahwile longer, silent. Finally, he said, very quietly,

"You should call your family."

And for once, I agreed. I did not move for several moments, and I wanted to bring him with me. I said, "Skyler, I will not leave you this way."

Hours later, dressed, showered, cried out and exhausted, I sat nervous against a wall. We checked out, packed out meager belongings. The sun was just reaching noon, the sky this impossible blue I don't think came close to anything, except maybe the color of Teal's eyes. I heard the flick of a lighter, as he started smoking a cigarette. I rested the weight of my body on my hands, behind me on the wall, so I couldn't hold out my hand for a drag. That was alright, because I didn't want it anyway. I felt him tug on one of my curls, and turned to catch his smiling laughing face.

I said, "Today, things will be alright."

I've never seen a face light up like that, I've never felt such relief, such overwhelming joy.

We sat there waiting, laughing and gasping.

Today, things really will be alright.