You use to say that you loved me 1
You use to say you needed me 2
You use to say that you wanted me3
You left without explanation 4
You left without a proper fairwell 5
Who knew that losing you 6
Would hurt more than hell 7
You said you would always be there 8
You said you would never leave 9
You knew i could not survive without you 10
So how could you just leave?11
You showed me who i was 12
You taught me who to be 13
Knowing this now 14
How could you simply forget about me?15
No matter how you hurt me 16
Even after all we have been through17
NOw, Forever, and Always,18
Know that I LOVE YOU
A contest entry
- Poetry Break by Chemical Imbalance.
500 points, ended December 4, 2006, 5 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
is it good or is it Crap?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I am speechless.... A wonderful poem, easy to follow and great to read... At first I tought you were someone I know. having just gone through this myself.... Well done!
Welcome to SW, I hope to be seeing more from you soon.
I will be looking in from time to time
Penny x x x
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A very heartfelt and emotional poem. You will no doubt strike a chord of familiarity for many readers who happen up on it.
I only noticed 2 typos. In line 18 it seems you only meant for the N of Now to be a cap. and in line 5 i think that it should be farewell. I could be wrong tho on both counts. If so, just ignore me
I enjoyed the read though, regardless.
Keep writing and welcome to StoryWrite. -
This was very deep and heartfelt. I think you did a good job here. Love is such a very powerful affection and painful as well.
Kamala Kari -
Losing love is a classic poem theme. You showed the emotions you were trying to convey very well. There were a couple of spelling errors but no biggie there. I don't judge on those things. Good job! Thanks for enterting the contest and good luck!
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I like this poem a lot and can feel the emotion from it. I find line 9 and 11 to be repetitive so I'd remove one or the other. Otherwise I'd click edit and remove the extra spacing. Good imagery well done and good luck in the contest.
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