California Dreamin'

I went to Boston with my girlfriend. Her family was there and she wanted to see them. I wasn't sure just how serious I wanted to be. She was talking of marriage and I was thinking more in terms of living together. We had been living together and I didn't want to mess with what I felt was a good thing. She was eighteen, almost nineteen. She had gone to California against her parents' wishes. They didn't know and would not have approved of her living with me. I had moved to California to make it in the music industry. I played guitar, sang and wrote songs. I had been there for two years when Karen and I met. We'd been together almost six months.

'All the leaves were brown and the sky was gray. I'd been for a walk on a winter's day. I'd be safe and warm if I was in LA. California dreamin' on such a winter's day.' I couldn't stay with Karen in Boston because she didn't want her family to know about us. I had hardly a penny to my name. I 'stopped into a church I passed along the way. I got down on my knees and I pretended to pray. You know the preacher liked the cold; he knew I was gonna stay. California dreamin' on such a winter's day.'

"I am going to be here for a few days, and I need a place to stay," I told him.

"Yes," he said, "I thought that you might." His sandy blonde hair was combed back. He was big and tall with a solid frame. I guessed him to be in his late thirties. He smiled as he spoke.

"I have almost no money, but I will be happy to work for my keep," I explained.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Ted," I answered simply.

"I'm Pastor Steve. Are you good with guitar?" he asked. I had my guitar and a back pack with me.

"I like to think so," I replied. I brushed my brown hair out of my eyes.

"Do you think you could play some Christmas carols?"

"Yes, I'd be pleased to do that for you," I responded.

"Mitchell Ryan can put you up for a few days," said the pastor.

"Thank you so very much. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Are you a Christian," he asked me.

"I don't know, but I believe in God. Would that make me a Christian?"

"That's a good start. Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?" he questioned.

"I believe that we are all children of God."

"Well, we believe that Jesus was born of the Holy Spirit of a virgin," he explained.

"I suppose that is possible," I stated.

I left my stuff at the Ryan's house and went to meet Karen at Dennys Restaurant as we had earlier agreed. "That's great," said Karen when I told her I had a place to stay. I gave her the Ryan's phone number.

We ordered sandwiches. Her parents had given her some money. "It's good to see my family again," she said.
"I've missed them."

"Well, I'm glad we came then," I told her and I was happy that it pleased her. I wanted her to have a good visit.

She talked about her family for a while and I listened while the thoughts burdening my mind ran silently through my head. Karen pulled her light blonde hair out of her face with her right hand as she spoke with enthusiam and excitement. Her blue eyes sparkled.

Finally she said, "I really appreciate you coming with me to Boston. I know you were not overly eager."

"No, but I love you and I didn't want you to come alone," I admitted.

"Why don't we get married then?"

"You know that I am not ready for that. I don't know when I will be. I'm not certain that I believe in marriage. It seems to be becoming an unnecessary institution," I explained.

"Well, I still believe in it," she said pouting.

"So many marriages end in divorce," I reminded her.

"Well that certainly is not a romantic thought," she complained. "Don't you want children?"

"Actually, I don't know. I know that I am not ready for children, yet. I need to get my musical career started first."

"Well, our careers are important," she said beginning to sob. "But our relationship is important, too; isn't it?"

"You know that you are the most important person in my life," I answered her. "But if we move too fast, it may ruin it. Please give me time."

"Okay," she whimpered.

I wanted to get back to California and get back to work on my efforts to get my career off the ground. I didn't mind indulging her for a few days, but I simply couldn't marry her. I knew 'if I didn't tell her, I could leave that day;' but I did love her and I didn't want to hurt her. I was dreaming of California and wanting to get back to the place which had become my home.

I didn't want Karen to hold me back. I was determined to succeed and that was more important to me than anything else, I supposed. I wanted Karen, but on my terms. She wanted me on her terms.

After we finished eating we went to a hotel and took a room for the afternoon and made love. "I do love you so much," said Karen.

"Then let's keep our music first," I suggested. "You know how important it is."

I played for the church and Karen finished her visit. We set out to go back to California to pursue our music and live happily ever after.