The Rose Mc Keen Diary

Day 1.1

Rose and CJ sat and stared at each other for a few minutes saying nothing. It was aquared, and they kept asking the other person what they wanted to do. The answer was, you know, whatever. Finally CJ leaned over and kissed Rose. At first Rose didn't really like it, but as the kiss continued she got more into it and started kissing back. After a while they stopped and started looking at each other again. They moved on to a more issolated part of the park and started kissing again. 2

Rose didn't feel confortable at first, but she didn't want it to stop at the same time. Cj threw her on her back but she didn't say no or anything. Soon he was massaging her breasts, and kissing harder, and grunting. Rose wanted to pull away, to say that she didn't believe in having sex before marriage, but at the same time she wanted to, more than she had ever wanted to do anything. CJ's phone range, signalling his break from work was over and he had to get back. Rose noticed her breasts where out of her bra and tucked them back inside, letting Cj help her to her feet. 3

"So, does this mean your gonna call me?" She asked, leaning into Cj. 4

"Well, yeah. I'm gonna call." CJ said, walking with her to his car. Rose watched as he drove off, and felt butterflies in her stomach. That had been close. She wanted him but....... she also didn't want him. Maybe next time something wouldn't stop them and they'd have sex..... and if they did Rose would never be able to forgive herself. She knew it was kinda stupid, because she wanted it and people said it wasn't really wrong. No one else would blame her if she did...... no one but herself. She hugged her arms togeather and walked threw her house, down the block and to her house. 5

As the days went by Rose waited for CJ to call, but he didn't. She waited almost a week, she told herself that she should just take it as a sign he didn't really like her, but she couldn't help it anymore. She wanted him. She called, but all she got was his answering mechine. She left a message and hoped CJ would call her back. The days went by, but still no call. 6

"He doesn't really love you." Rose said to herself, looking in the mirror. 7

I KNOW8

"If he loved you he'd call. He'd want to talk to you all the time. Your lucky if he calls you once a month."9

MAYBE HE'S BUSSY, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?10

"You know what you'll do if you see him alone again..."11

YES.......12

"You won't be able to stop yourself, you've seen that."13

I KNOW.....14

"Why do you do it? He doesn't love you, he doesn't even like you. He doesn't treat you right."15

HE MAKES ME FEEL...... AND HE CALLED ME PRITTY16

"One guy calls you pritty and you fall head over heals over him. Do you know how pethetic that is? Thats sounds so fucking stupid. Come on, thats not you. You sneer at girls like that, always have. You'v always sneared at girls who think with their breasts instead of their brains. This isn't like you..."17

I LOVE HIM18

"How can you love him? You just met him. God, you are such an ass whole. Is that what you want to be, some little slut? If your going to be like that why don't you just go sell yourself on the street. At least then you'd make a profit."19

I WANT HIM........ I WANT HIM SO MUCH........20

"Are you willing to give yourself up for, what? A dead end relationship. I thought you were smarter then that. I can see better now, your just as dumb and stupid as everyone always said. "21

YES22

"You are such an idoit girl."23

SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE24

"Shut up? I'm not even talking. I'm you..... the real you. The you that lives behind the mask. The you your afraid everyone will see. I'm the you that sees you for what you really are."25

AND WHAT AM I?26

"Nothing, and thats all you'll ever be."